Audrey
“That sounds like fun,” Mom said. “I bet you really would love it, Audrey. Maybe you’d run into some of your old friends. You could probably show them a move or two.” She winked at me, and I had to fight not to roll my eyes.
Show them a move or two? Did she think I was going to bust out a few of my ballet moves right there in the middle of some small-town bar? It just showed how much she really thought of me and my career.
“I’m not in contact with any of my old friends,” I said, hoping that would be the end of the matter. The last thing I wanted to do was go to a bar by myself. I didn’t want to be that desperate stranger standing off to the side, trying to attach myself to a group.
I felt another pang of homesickness for my life in Paris. I hadn’t gone out alone in all the time that I’d been there. The other dancers at the Global Traveling Dance Academy of Performing Arts, the ones who had been there for a while, had immediately taken me under their wings when I had arrived, showing me the town. And now that I was one of the people who had been there for years, I had shown other newcomers around too.
I missed my friends. I wanted to call them, but I knew they were all busy. And the last thing I wanted was to talk to them about dance right now. Not when it could be six months before I was back dancing with them all again.
Mom looked disappointed, though. “I just thought that if you were going to be here for a little while, it might be nice for you to try to connect with some of your old crowd. But I guess you’re not planning on being here for a while. When do you have to get back to work?”
I stared down at my fork. There was nothing to be gained from lying to her. I took a deep breath. “I’m not sure,” I finally admitted. “I rolled my ankle, and I need to take some time off to let it heal. And then I’ll need to train until I’m ready to go back to dancing like I was. It could be a couple of months.”
I didn’t want to admit to the six months because I didn’t want her getting her hopes up that I would be staying here the entire time. Even if I couldn’t go back to the academy sooner than six months from now, I’d be damned if I was going to stay here in Aberdeen for all of that time.
“Oh, honey,” Mom said. “Why didn’t you say so?” She sounded sympathetic, and I looked away so that I wouldn’t start crying. I had never wanted to go home so badly in my life. And North Carolina wasn’t home, not anymore.
“I’ll call Dr. Travis and see if we can get you in for an appointment,” she said.
“I’ve already seen a doctor,” I said.
“Well, it wouldn’t hurt for you to see another one here,” Mom said, shaking her head. “I’ll pay for it. You don’t have to worry.”
It was just like I was a kid again, but I knew that there was no use arguing with her.
“If you’re going to be back for a couple of months, you really should think about going over to Gabby’s tonight,” Annabelle said. “Maybe it would take your mind off your ankle. And you don’t want to stay cooped up in here every day, do you? Come hang out. It’ll be fun. And if it’s not, I’ll send some free tequila shots your way.”
I couldn’t remember the last time I had done tequila shots, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to do that on my first real night here in town. That surely wasn’t going to make a night fun. On the other hand, she might be right about a night out taking my mind off my ankle. I needed to quit thinking about Paris right now, or else I would go crazy.
Also, the director had said to treat this like research. He didn’t want to hear that I had spent months sitting around doing nothing. I had to try at least a little bit, but I couldn’t help cringing at the thought of it. There wasn’t anyone in this old town that I really wanted to see, and I had a feeling that this night was only going to drive that home to me even more.
But what else was I going to do?
“All right, I’ll be there,” I promised Annabelle. She and Mom both beamed at me, enough that it was almost worth it.
Almost.
JesseI mounted the sign back where it was meant to go and climbed back down, to applause from Tristan’s daughter. “You fixed it!” she said excitedly as she peered up at it.I grinned in spite of myself. “Wasn’t too difficult,” I told her, but I accepted the high five that she gave me anyway. I straightened back up and turned to Tristan. “That wind last night was pretty crazy, huh?”“Yeah, came up out of nowhere, too,” Tristan said, looking worried. “I’m afraid what that means for storms this year.” Then, his worry cleared as he clapped me on the shoulder. “At least I’m lucky enough to work right next door to the town handyman. You want to come inside for a piece of pie?”“God, that sounds great,” I said. I’d been going since dawn that morning. Not only did I have the hardware store to open, but I’d gotten calls from half a dozen people in town who all wanted to know if there was any way that I could help them with storm damage that they had suffered overnight.I’d left Tristan’s dine
AudreyI dug through my bag, trying to find some sort of outfit that would be suitable for a bar in Aberdeen. Annabelle and I had snuck out to go to shows in town when we were teenagers, with more or less success, depending on the night. What the hell had we worn back then? Jeans? I didn’t think that I had worn jeans in years now. Surely not in all the time that I’d lived in Paris.When we went out there, I was usually in a dress or slacks and a button-up blouse. But both of those things seemed too formal for wearing around Aberdeen. I didn’t really care about what everyone here thought of me, but I wanted to be comfortable and not look like a snooty rich girl out of her element. If this really was about research, that wasn’t going to help me one bit.“God, I wish I were as skinny as you,” Annabelle said as she came back into the bedroom after her shower with just a towel wrapped around her.I snorted. “You look amazing, and you know it,” I chided. “But if you want to give up on all t
Audrey“I’m in flat shoes,” I reminded her. Her shoes. She shouldn’t need reminding.Annabelle shrugged. “Come on, get in,” she said, walking over to the van.I stared at the door that she held open for me. I wanted to argue, but the words wouldn’t come. And anyway, I could tell that this was the kind of battle that I just wouldn’t win.I slipped inside. When Clayton put it in drive, the van lurched, and I winced. It made a terrible sound as it drove through town, and I felt more and more embarrassed. Finally, we came to a sputtering stop outside the bar. People were definitely staring as Annabelle and I got out.I cringed, but I was surprised to see that Annabelle didn’t seem to care about the attention. Instead, she smiled and chatted to a few people she knew, talking about how nice the evening was and how good it was to be done with winter finally.We headed inside. Gabby’s was nicer than Finnegan’s, but it was still definitely a dive bar by anyone’s reckoning. You would never find
JesseI glanced around as I walked into Gabby’s with Joe. I still couldn’t believe that I had let him talk me into coming out with him. The Long Blue or not, was it really worth it? Sure, this place wasn’t too terrible, all things considered. A bit loud. And probably only going to get louder as the night went on. I recognized nearly everyone in there. It was a pretty good crowd, though, especially for a Sunday night. Not like anyone had anything else to do on a Sunday night in Aberdeen.But I couldn’t help remembering what Joe had said about getting me to dance with someone pretty. I was so not interested in that tonight.We grabbed drinks first and chatted for a minute with Annabelle Buchanan. God, when had she gotten old enough to serve drinks behind the bar? I’d known her back when she was a kid, but she’d been so much younger than me that I’d known her sister better. But Audrey disappeared when she went off to further her ballet career, and I doubted we’d ever see her around town
JesseAudrey cracked a smile at that. “Sounds great,” she said. “Thanks.”I got her drink ordered and then sat back, unable to tear my eyes away from her. “So how long have you been back in town for?”She grinned again as she took a sip of her drink. “Long enough to have lunch at the Sub & Surf, but not long enough to run into anyone I know, I guess.” I laughed. “So, what, ten hours? The sub shop was probably the first place you hit on the way into town, wasn’t it?”“Nah, I went by Mom’s first,” Audrey said, laughing. “I got here yesterday evening, but I was pretty exhausted. Long flight.”“Yeah, I’ll bet,” I said.“Wouldn’t have expected you to still be bumming around here,” Audrey said, peering at me. “Weren’t you voted most likely to, what was it? Get involved in an international bank heist and flee to a remote island with the authorities on your tail?”I gave a surprised laugh. “You remember that?” I asked. “I don’t even know how the hell that got into the nomination pool.”Audre
AudreyOf all the people to run into at Gabby’s, Jesse Miller was probably the last person I would have expected. I had never expected him to hang out around Aberdeen for as long as he had. I would have thought he would be long gone by now. But when he mentioned his dad dying and the fact that he had taken over the hardware store, it suddenly all made sense. Jesse had always been the sort of guy that you could rely on.And plans had a tendency to change.I tried not to be too gloomy, but I couldn’t keep thinking about my own change in plans. If I were back in Paris right now, I’d be asleep, just waiting for the next morning. Then I would get up, eat a light breakfast, do my stretches, and train like I did every morning. Part of why I felt so out of place here in North Carolina was because I was missing my routine. When had I become one of those people who couldn’t live without their routine? Where had my spontaneity gone?When Jesse asked me to dance with him, I leaped at the chance t
JesseShe kept talking as I drove her home.“I can’t wait until summer,” Audrey said. “I’m going to go to the beach every day. Maybe I’ll start surfing again. The director would probably kill me if he found out about that. All my focus is supposed to be on dance. But you know, he told me to use this time to focus on my other hobbies, so it’s kind of his own fault.”I blinked over at her in surprise. I hadn’t expected that she would be sticking around for that long. Her still being there for the summer made me think that she must be retiring from dance or something. But then she had said that thing about the director being mad if she was focusing on something other than dance, so she must still be employed. It made me wonder.Audrey was still chattering away. “Surfing’s just like dancing anyway, isn’t it? Just a dance with the waves. And I bet my balance is way better now than it used to be. Bet I can do all sorts of tricks that I never used to be able to.” She frowned. “Of course, I’l
JesseI knew that I was going to get shit from Joe on Tuesday morning as soon as he showed up for work. He had been texting me since Sunday night, his texts getting increasingly lewd. My departure from Gabby’s with Audrey hadn’t gone unnoticed, and for the first time, I started to think about what the town would think. Everyone knew that she and I had been close before. Would they think that something more had happened?I felt embarrassed at the thought of it. Not because I cared what they might think of me but because Audrey didn’t need them all thinking that she’d slept with someone on her second night back. She didn’t need to be in the gossip mill already.Joe had had his day off on Monday, so I hadn’t seen him since Gabby’s. Now, I was sure that I would hear about his speculations in person.“There he is,” he said with a broad grin as he came in on Tuesday morning. He clapped me on the shoulder. “You’ve been quiet. You guys go for round two?”“There was never a round one,” I mutte
AudreyI couldn’t believe that Jesse had gone to all of this work to build the perfect nursery for our baby. From the looks of the crib, it was hand-built, not just one of those flimsy things that you put together from the store. I could tell that there was still some work that he planned on putting into that, and there was a rocking chair only half finished on the floor. But Jesse was building me a nursery for our baby.I could barely believe it.Here I had been so worried that he would want nothing to do with me or the baby, when in fact, exactly the opposite was true. He wanted this enough that he was willing to put his love and dedication into incorporating us into his life and his home. He wanted our baby to grow up here just like he had grown up here.He was so perfect. I didn’t know how to tell him that.Instead, I was given the opportunity to show it to him.I caught his hands in mine and tugged him out of the nursery and back down the hallway to his bedroom. This time, I was
JesseWhen I heard Audrey’s reasons for why she hadn’t told me about the pregnancy, I felt my heart break a little. Not because her reasons were terrible, but because I’d been so terrible to her this week. If she’d only explained things to me before. I knew that was my fault, though. I hadn’t let her explain. We’d been tired and too full of emotions to really talk last weekend, but I at least should have made time to see her earlier in the week.I didn’t know what I’d been expecting from her, but her actual reasons for not telling me were almost too sweet.“I’m assuming that you want to try to get yourself back into shape and go back to being a ballerina once the baby is born?” I said now, at dinner.To my surprise, Audrey shook her head. “Honestly, I think those days are over.”“I’m sure you can talk to your director and work something out with him,” I said, frowning. “I know there was the injury as well as this, but he seems like a reasonable guy. It’s not like you don’t have the ta
AudreyJesse slowly came up to the porch, like he thought I might run in the other direction. “You look really pretty,” he said quietly.“Is that all you came here to say?” I asked tartly.The lips of his mouth twitched with a grin. “Just the start of it,” he promised me. “Have you already eaten? I was hoping that maybe I could take you to dinner and we could talk.”I stared at him for a long moment. So now he wanted to talk? I wanted to hear whatever it was that he wanted to say, though. I wanted him, so badly that I ached. I found myself nodding. “Let’s go,” I said, heading toward his truck.We were both silent on the way to the restaurant that had been our favorite as teens. I should have known that he would take me there. Back to where it all began. There was a part of me that was terrified that I was never going to be able to come back here again after this too-serious conversation that we were about to have.There was another part of me that soared with hope, wondering if this m
AudreyI shook my head. “It’s more complicated than that,” I sighed. “He just got mad because I didn’t tell him that I was pregnant until we were on the way to the hospital. I lied to him about why I was back here, and he can’t trust me anymore.” I bit my lip. “I deserve it, for waiting for the perfect time. I just didn’t think waiting was going to end up making things so terrible.”“Oh, Audrey,” Annabelle sighed, coming over to sit next to me on the bed and giving me a hug. I knew she was probably going to be running late for her shift, but she didn’t seem to care. She just wanted to make sure that I was all right. I nearly cried with how much I appreciated it.She noticed. “Are you crying?”I had to laugh. “Hormones,” I told her. “I’m pregnant, remember? My emotions are all over the place.”She shook her head and went to grab me a tissue from the box on the dresser. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think he’ll be mad at you forever,” she said. “You didn’t see him when you were in Paris
AudreyI’d had a great day with Mom and Annabelle, cooing over all the adorable little things that we could buy for the baby in the local mall. I knew that they were really excited about the baby, but as much as I tried to match their enthusiasm, I still couldn’t help but feel upset and unsure. It would have been so much easier if I had known that Jesse and I were an item and that he was going to be there for me. For us.I still hadn’t heard from him, though, and now it had been nearly a week since he had found out about the fact that I was pregnant.It had been a long week. Other than that shopping trip, I had barely left the house. What was there to do? Anywhere that I went around town, there was a chance that I might run into Jesse. I didn’t want to admit that I was avoiding him, but the conversation that he and I needed to have wasn’t one that I really wanted to start in public where anyone could witness it.It was a small town. Soon enough, everyone was going to realize that I wa
JesseI took a calming breath to steady myself. No. I at least knew Audrey well enough to know that she wouldn’t do something like that without at least telling me that was her plan. Even though I hadn’t reached out to her, she knew where to find me if she really needed to talk about something like that. She knew where I worked, and she knew where I lived.At least, I thought I knew Audrey well enough to trust in that. If not Audrey, though, I had a feeling I would have caught an earful from Annabelle if her sister was even considering that.“You’re sure it’s yours?” Joe asked.“Yeah,” I said. I grimaced. “I actually asked her if it was someone else’s and that was why she hadn’t told me about it. She got pretty upset that I had even dared to think that she might have been with someone else. I believe her.”Joe nodded, and I could tell he was thinking everything over.“Am I right to be angry with her?” I asked, when he didn’t say anything. “I mean, she flat-out lied to me. You were rig
JesseI knew that I should probably talk to Audrey. Not talking to her was driving me crazy. She had always been one of my best friends, and if there was anyone that I wanted to talk to, it was definitely her. I missed her. I wanted to know how she was handling all of this. I wanted to know what she was thinking.I wanted to make sure that she was following the doctor’s orders to rest and stay off her feet for a little bit, in case it was the stress that had caused that terrible cramping that she’d had the other night. It had been hard for Audrey to stay off her feet before when her ankle was injured, so I could only imagine how she was coping with it now.I hoped for the sake of the baby, our baby, that she was taking the doctor’s words seriously. I had a feeling she would be, though. Somehow, I knew that she was going to make an incredible mother. That little baby was lucky.It was one of the few things that I was sure of.The rest of it was all uncertainties, and that right there w
Audrey“Eleven weeks,” I said. “Annabelle and I went for the ultrasound on Friday.” I pulled out the picture to show her, and her face lit up.“Look at that little peanut of a thing,” she cooed. “He looks adorable.”“He?” I asked skeptically. “You can’t possibly tell that from the picture.”Mom tutted. “Let me have my dream,” she said. “It would be good to have a little man around the household again. Besides, look at the way he’s positioned. He must be a boy.”I tried not to laugh. “Maybe it’s a boy,” I said, glancing at Annabelle.“Audrey’s hoping it’s a girl so that she can teach her to be a ballerina,” Annabelle said.“The world could use more male ballerinas,” Mom said, winking at me. “I always wished that I would have a boy to balance out you girls.” She sounded wistful, and I suddenly realized that I had never known if two kids were all that she planned to have or if things just hadn’t worked out for more. It suddenly seemed like something that I should know.Mom was wrapped up
AudreyI had barely left my bedroom for the rest of the weekend after Jesse dropped me off at home. I couldn’t help thinking of the terrible things that he had said to me out in the driveway. I couldn’t help thinking of how much I deserved for him to say those things and more to me.I had fucked up. I knew that now. No, I had known that all along. I knew that I should tell him about the baby. All the reasons not to tell him seemed so stupid now. I couldn’t even think how to apologize to him, in fact, that’s how stupid all the reasons sounded in my head.Not that I was going to get a chance to apologize to him. I had given him his space on Saturday. He wanted time to cool off and process things, and I would give that to him. Sunday, I hadn’t been able to stop myself from texting him, though. I understood if he wasn’t ready to talk yet, but I just wanted to know when he might be ready to talk. The uncertainty was killing me.He hadn’t responded. Suddenly, I felt panic go through me, eve