(Lydia)At work, I was on my third cup of coffee the next morning. Both my head as well as my eyes ached. I was only going through the motions of my rehearsal, waiting to get back home and rest. My whole world had suddenly spun out of control. And I hadn’t received so much as a single warning.I had realized that my feelings for Thomas, which I had so carefully folded up and tucked away into the back of my heart, had suddenly and abruptly resurfaced in the wake of his constant attention and care. He had started to win my heart back again.And, just as that had begun to unfold, Sarah had resurfaced with news of a child.The reason this was so pitiful was that … I would never stand in the way of that child’s happiness. I would never want a child to grow up without a father as caring and loving as Thomas.So, I tried to mentally drop the subject and swallow the fact that Thomas and Sarah would end up getting married.I tried to reason with myself: I have had a good life without him, anyw
(Lydia)The next few weeks passed by in a blur – not the swift, quick kind. My life had transformed into a haze in that I could no longer understand what was happening any longer.Thomas had called me several times. I had neither picked up nor declined. And I had not called him back.Truth be told, I had been hoping that he would show up again in person. My heart had been aching at the thought that he could consider getting back together with Sarah. After all those tall claims he had made, too – after chasing after me and waiting on me hand and foot.But there was a silver lining in all this: I had come to learn of my own strength. I had thought that if I lost Thomas a second time, I would be as devastated as the first time around – perhaps, even more so.But things did not pan out that way. I was disappointed and, without a doubt, in pain but I did not crumble this time around.I was glad; I would never want to be the way my mother was to me to my children. I was thinking of her afte
(Lydia)A cascade of emotions flooded through me: I was shocked, sad, nostalgic, happy to see my mother again, struggling with the memories of the past – of me defending her and of her ignoring me, and so much more. With this much going on within me, I was rooted to the spot.“My child…” my mother said through trembling lips and a broken voice.“Mama…” I finally said and exhaled. I had had no idea that I had been holding my breath for so long. I flung my arms around her.She stiffened when I did so. My heart lurched. How could she come here after so many years and then reject my attempt to hold her again?She was shivering.I held her by the forearms and looked at her in the eyes. “Are you okay, mama?” I asked, my voice more concerned for her than she had ever been for me.It hurt but that didn’t mean that I still didn’t care for her.My mother shook her head and dropped it. Her shoulders began to shake. She was crying.“What’s wrong, mama?” I asked her, alarmed.My mother looked up
(Lydia)I could not help the icy look in my eyes. After all those years upon years of neglect, she had come to see me in the hospital. And she had not even bothered to ask after me later. A part of me could not even believe that she was truthful. “Why?” I asked quietly.My mother’s eyes widened, as though she were appalled at my question. “You’re my daughter, Lydia!” she said.I shook my head. I had not been her daughter when my father had punched me in the face. She had not come to see me becoming a bride. And she had never asked after me for all these years since after the accident. What has changed now?Eyes teary, I looked at her. But before I could gather the strength to say even a single one of these things, she fished out a piece of paper from her creased old purse and handed it to me.Then, she turned around and left.On the paper was the address of a hotel that she was staying at. I considered running after her but my head was spinning from all of these sudden events and rev
(Lydia)With a heavy lump in my throat, I hung up the phone. I stared into the void for a minute. Absolutely nothing made sense anymore. But knowing now all that Ruby had told me, I realized that I needed to talk to my mother. I should not have let her leave so quickly. I should have taken her to a restaurant – maybe had lunch with her.Fifteen minutes later, I was in my car with the location of her hotel set as the destination on the GPS navigator. I had no idea what I would say to my mother. “ETA: five minutes. You are now on the fastest route to Green Air Fort Hotel” the robotic voice on the navigator application system said.What would I say to her? How would I talk to her? My heart thumped wildly as I pulled up in front of the building and handed my car keys to the valet. As I made my way into the elevator, my mouth ran dry.But I knew that it was the right thing to do. My mother deserved to be loved and cared for by me. All those years ago, she had made a mistake by not leaving
(Lydia)Ruby was biting her nails and pacing rapidly around the corridor when I got home. She looked up when she heard the door open and darted towards me as soon as she saw me.“How did it go?” she gasped, clutching my arms.“I – he – they’re exactly the same as before, Ruby!” I garbled, “The old man threatened to go to Thomas and – and – I don’t think he knows that we’re already divorced and …”My face was flushed. I was sweating. I had been hold on to a pang of anxiety ever since I had left the hotel. I was struggling to keep my senses but my voice weakened and my head swayed dizzily as I exhaled, “I can’t let him get to the children, Ruby ... I don’t think he knows but – what if – and … I – I can’t let him know more, he just can’t … I won’t let it – he can’t …”Ruby flung her arms around me and started blubbering uncontrollably. We had been here before. We had spent our entire childhoods this way. And, now, this man had returned to refresh our memories with the horrors of the past
(Lydia)Seeing my mother in that state – still inside that very state, after all these years had gone – set off something inside of me. All of a sudden, I had had enough.“Come with me,” I said to my mother and grabbed her by the hand.“You too,” I shot at my father as I watched him saunter towards the door frame.I almost had to shove my father through the elevator door at the end of the corridor. He was trying his best to resist coming with me. My mother had broken into tears and was sobbing softly into a napkin.The elevator door glided open with a ding. “Well, move,” I rasped at my father as he stared at me in confusion. His shirt was thoroughly creased and its top buttons were undone. I caught a faint whiff of whiskey through my nose. The man could barely stand. “Where are you taking me?” he slurred.I pushed him through the door at the security office and he almost tripped and fell, catching the edge of a desk just in time.The security officer seated there shot up immediately.
(Lydia)I shot a glance at my wrist watch. 2:50 pm. I was not late. I was actually ten minutes early, in fact. What in God’s name was happening here?Margaret looked up at me, a surprisingly pleased-with-herself smile etched across her face. Her eyes glinted at some secret joy.Mabel and Miles squealed and jumped in glee. They both ran towards and hugged me at the knees. And let out a laugh.“Mommy, mommy! I drew a plane!” Miles exclaimed, excitedly waving a crayon drawing at me.“I drew a house, mommy! Look, it’s pink and it glitters!” Mabel chimed in, hopping up and down. They both held up their arms as their eyes sparkled with pride at their work.“That’s lovely, babies,” I smiled at them both, bending down and hugging them back. Their warmth instantly erased the coldness inside me from the strangeness of what had happened earlier this afternoon. I smacked a kiss across each of their cheeks.“Mabel,” I said to my daughter, “Why don’t you show Miles how you put glitter on your house