(Thomas)A few seconds ago, I still hadn’t known what my decision would be. I had only come here to talk to her because I knew that that was important. We needed to move forward together in as practical of a way as possible. I needed to be allowed to have a role in my children’s lives.But the second she opened the door and I caught sight of her angelic face, I knew that I could only ever want her.Lydia was the only woman for me.***When Sarah had sprung the news on us that night, I had been too shocked for words. Before I could have even fully understood the implications of Sarah’s announcement, Lydia had gotten up and left the table.I had not gone after her. How could I? Sarah was bearing my child.But I had been quiet when, fifteen minutes later, Sarah had sat strapped in the passenger seat of my car. Her eyebrows had been arched in expectation, as though she were waiting for an answer.I had no answer. I had been too baffled to respond.So, I had taken a deep breath and driven
(Lydia)I crossed my arms at him and gave him a hard look. This was the last thing that I needed to deal with right now.“Why are you here?” I said, “Shouldn’t you be with your fiancée, picking your wedding cake and all that?”I couldn’t help the bitterness in my tone. After all, it was not exactly pleasant to develop feelings for your ex-husband again and then have him leave you a second time. But I would not complain and protest this time. I would not allow myself to be weak. I would not beg for mercy for this man.“Lydia, I—“ he began.“I don’t want to hear it,” I snapped and quickly made to shut the door.He grabbed it.“Lydia, would you please at least give me a chance to speak?” his eyes pleaded me.I gazed into them for a moment, lost. Why was he here? What did he want?He told me. “I don’t want to marry Sarah,” he said, “I will be there for the baby, of course, but I want to spend my life with you.”I froze in my spot. And I felt my heart dance aflutter. Why was this making me
(Lydia)I can’t very well kick him out of the house until it’s time for the party, I thought. I pulled out my phone to text Ruby and let her know that Thomas would be helping her with decorations. Ruby was angry at Thomas for choosing Sarah all over again and she might not react well to finding him here without warning.But before I could tell Thomas, the twins began to drag him outside.“Will you push us on the swings?” Mabel asked, looking up at him.“What’s your favorite ice-cream flavor?” Miles asked and then added, “I like strawberry! And Mabel likes chocolate!”Thomas was smiling and chuckling.Ah well, I shrugged. It would be better if I didn’t leave him and Ruby alone. She would certainly pick a bone with him.The visit to the park was uneventful. It was delightful, in fact. I was surprised at how much the twins had missed Thomas and so very pleased that they were getting to spend time with their father.They laughed as Thomas pushed them on the swings. He held his daughter’s
(Lydia)“Let’s open the presents!” Adam exclaimed and the twins ran in his direction. They were jumping and clapping with glee and Adam laid out each one of their gifts and helped them unwrap it. Jack stood there commentating on every single present and recording a video of the unwrapping. And for once, Thomas was surprisingly calm despite Adam’s presence and involvement in his children’s lives.I was relieved. I was glad that everything was about my children right now – about their happiness, celebrating them, cheering them on their accomplishments, and about generally creating a loving and nurturing atmosphere for them to grow up in. I was glad that Thomas and Adam weren’t passing each other looks or otherwise making jabs at each other. And I was glad that the twins were too preoccupied with their presents to bother asking who my mother was.I was not prepared to have that conversation with them right now. I wanted to give things a bit more time before I brought their maternal gr
(Thomas)As the cartoon movie began to play, I felt the strangest sense of déjà vu. I felt as though I had read the book that this movie was adapted from. My mind flashed back to a little hardback in baby blue with golden stars. Yes, I definitely know this story.I leaned towards Jack, who was seated on my right. “Have we watched this movie before?” I whispered to him.He chuckled slightly before he responded, “Of course, Thomas. This is one of Lydia’s all-time favorites – book and movie both!”I turned my eyes towards Lydia. Her face was beaming with a childlike delight and wonder. Her eyes were shining as bright as stars.I smiled softly at my beautiful wife.***The further we dove into the movie, the more I started remembering things.Lydia brought the book up from the library. It was the morning after she had told me that I was going to be a father. The room was bright and sunny and the light caught fire on her red hair.Her angelic blue eyes shone through the pleased smile on he
(Lydia)The room cheered when I carried the drinks inside. I laughed. I had not felt this relaxed and happy in weeks. It felt nice to be surrounded by the people who I was close to.“You did a spectacular job today, Lyddie!” Adam exclaimed, “With hosting the movie night, I mean.”“What you really mean,” said Jack with a grin, “Is that she did a great job at making all of us cry!”Everyone laughed at his quip.“I consider this a great accomplishment,” I said, walking into the center of the room, “Making grown men like yourselves shed tears!”The men in the room groaned and shouted in protest. Ruby was bent over double laughing. I had really missed all this banter and fun.Adam and I began discussing the decorations that I had in mind for the living room. He had been helping me set up the furniture so far.“I think that you should install a light on that wall,” he said, pointing in front of us. I pulled out an image that I had saved on my phone and showed it to him.“I was meaning to ge
(Lydia)Mama was still awake when I entered the hotel. She dragged a long puff of a cigarette and then tipped it against an ashtray, which was full already. An empty pack sat on the table next to it. She had already opened a second one. How come she didn’t get lung cancer?She looked briefly at me and then turned her gaze away, staring off into the distance.The silence stretched between us. I could not help but stare.I knew that what I had done was hurtful, but had she not pushed her boundaries? And was she not, at this very minute, acting like the same cold and distant person that she had been to me all her life?What would it take for her to, just once, treat me like a daughter? To display some warmth and affection the way she had when I was a very small child?It dawned upon that perhaps that person had frozen still deep inside of her. Maybe, it was my charge to bring her back to the surface.“I’ve booked an appointment for you, Mama,” I said, “with the best oncologist in the sta
(Lydia)“I asked – the chauffeur … to take me to Sarah’s house last night,” he garbled, “I -- there was so much water – I woke up – she had been silent … I didn’t … I don’t know – I didn’t see -- SHE TOOK SLEEPING PILLS WHILE I WAS PASSED OUT!”I looked back at the stretcher that had already been wheeled inside. Sarah was in good hands now. She would be taken care of.But Thomas was clearly very shaken. I put a hand on his arm and looked comfortingly at him. Mama looked very concerned.“Why don’t we sit down by that bench?” I suggested. I led Thomas to the bench and Mama and I sat down on either side of him. It was late in the afternoon and a few birds were chirping in the trees.“Now, could you slowly tell me what happened?” I said. I kept my voice as gentle as I could. Thomas looked very white and his eyes were frantic and deranged.Thomas drew in a deep breath, exhaled, and then began to speak. “I went to Sarah’s house last night. I wanted to end things with her. Of course, I would