2

Loath

Days passed like a blur.

It's been weeks since something happened between me and Claus and all I did was to reminisce every bit of it like it just happened yesterday. I can't seem to forget it.

I badly want to talk to Claus. But...what if he doesn't remember, right? Because he was too drunk that night and I doubt if he can remember every piece of what happened to us.

Shit!

I'm going crazy! I don't know what to do anymore, and I feel like I can't face my twin just the same knowing that I had sex with her fiancee! 

"Tomorrow will be a busy day, Trin. We have a tight schedule so it's better if you rest first."

I sighed. "It's okay Miya. I'm used to it."

"No. You're going to go home to your condo early and rest. I don't want you to be in the middle of the shoot and space out like a mad girl again. " I sighed again. I didn't complain anymore because I feel like I didn't have enough energy to fight with this girl. She's as hardheaded as me.

The service van brought me to my condo. I didn't brought my car because Miya didn't want to let me drive. She said that I should avoid driving for now, especially that I've been spacing out a lot these past few days.

I know that she feels it already. She could smell something was wrong but she never forced me to talk about it. And that's one of the reasons why I like her. She just waits whenever I feel comfortable of spitting up the things that are bothering me.

When I arrived, I immediately got off the van after thanking the driver. I was glad that it wasn't a long drive at all.

I return a small smile to those who greeted me as I enter. I can't seem to smile genuinely especially when I'm thinking a lot.

I entered my condo's pass code before going inside.

The familiar feeling of 'home' hit me. Eversince I decided to live on my own, this has been the witness of my silent battles. I am alone, but this is what I call home. Because I never felt welcome in our house back then. I feel like I was a prisoner...with no chance to escape, and I can't help but to be thankful that I already did it. I escaped. With the help of myself.

My eyes slowly drifted to the living room.

I let out a gasp of surprise when I saw someone sitting on my single sofa. My heart thumped loudly inside as I made my way to him. He was just staring at me coldly. Like, I was nothing but a stranger in his eyes.

I felt bitter.

Stranger. Yes. That's what we are now.

"C-Claus, it's a surprise to see you here." How did you know my pass code? I want to add but I stopped myself. Of course he has ways. He always has ways.

"N-did you wait for too long? U-uhm, w-what do you want? Coffee or—"

"Nothing." He spat out coldly, cutting my sentence off. I swallowed and smiled slightly at him. "Tell me, did something happen between us in this filthy place?" I blinked a few times and backed away slightly. He spat out those words like he was disgusted to be even here...or more like, disgusted of me.

I got even weaker.

"Answer me, b-tch!" I closed my eyes tightly when I heard his loud angry shout. He stood up from his seat as if he was ready to attack me if I answer him wrongly.

B-tch...

I laughed inwardly inside my head. I should get used to it. I should get used to that word because he's not the first person to call me that at all. But why is that? The pain is tripled when he's the one saying it.

"Answer me before I do anything to you!" I gasped for an air. He will not think twice now to hurt me! 

"Y-yes...S-something happened between us." I tried to act brave and spoke to him while staring into his ash gray eyes but I couldn't handle it. All I can see is his eyes are pure disgust and anger towards me.

"F-ck!" He violently kicked the coffee table in front. His eyes were coated with so much loath as he looked at me. "How did I f-cking end up here?! Did you f-cking drugged me, huh?!" He shouted angrily and rushed to come in front of me. I screamed painfully when he held my collar.

F-fuck!

He is really going to hurt me! And that fucking hurts me even more! The fact that he's willing to hurt me physically feels like sh-t. 

"F-ck! You took advantage of my drunken state, you b-tch! You are really a f-cking bitch and I loathe you more for doing this shit to me!" He screamed at my face. I couldn't do anything but to look down while crying. I didn't even realize I was already crying until he lifted me up a bit, holding my collar like his dear life depends on it. 

I tried to pry his hands away but he was too strong. So, I just let him. I let him do the things that he wanted to do. Even though I know that I don't deserve it at all. 

"You know I am in a relationship with your twin but f-ck! You still f-cking—!" He let go of me violently. With no strength enough for me to stand up, I collapsed on the floor.

I saw him kick my sofa angrily.

"B-tch! You f-cking b-tch! If Beatriz finds out about this and our relationship will go down because of you, you are f-cking dead Beautrin. Just wrap yourself up with your own coffin now because I will not freaking forgive you if Beatriz finds out!"

I cried even more. I cried not because of how he can physically hurt me for my twin, but because of the fact that it's really gone...

He really has no love left for me... Not even a little bit. I was wishing for a little...but I fell hard because he doesn't feel anything to me now. I am no one but a twin sister of his lover.

"I f-cking loath you! Don't ever show your face to me ever again! Just please, Beautrin. Don't disturb Beatriz and me because no matter what happen...I will never come back to you."