HopeI'd never do it. I mean... This wasn't me.Nah, no, nada, nil, zilch. It couldn't be me. I was the responsible one. The one always prepared, always early and on time. On weekdays, I worked my butt off at the diner and on weekends I stayed huddled up in the book store down the block. That right there was the full autobiography of my life. Pretty basic and plain, and I was the last person you'd expect to worry about an accidental pregnancy. So why the hell did I just spend a hundred bucks on a box of target-brand pregnancy tests?Three words.I. Fucked. Up.Rewind two months back to Pampam's bachelorette party and my insistence on staying home because attending a cock fest and seeing a bunch of naked penises writhing at me wasn't exactly on my to-do list, but Lesley being the persistent friend she was, didn't take no for an answer. "There aren't going to be naked cocks, Hope. It's a strip club, not pornhub." She reasoned, taking off my reading glasses. "Besides... It's not gonna
Killian"That all you got, tough guy?" She purred, her hot whiskey breath fanning my face as we staggered into the hotel room. I couldn't remember her name. Charlotte? Charlene? Scarlett? Hell, it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered right now was those lips and the obscene things I planned to do to them. "Seriously you have to come up with something better than this." She mocked. "You said you were going to manhandle me up. Is this how you plan to do it?" Filthy little kinky brat. She looked somewhat younger than me, twenty-something or thereabout, certainly not young enough for me to give two fucks. "You have no idea what you're asking for, blondie," I growled, reaching for her ass and squeezing hard. "I'm not an easy pony to ride." Her breath wavered. "Try me." "Oh, I will." I gritted. "And when I'm done cuffing you to that bed, spanking your ass bare and fucking you so hard, you'll be begging me to use you, and I'll do it, I'll mar
HopeFor the rest of the week, I threw myself into my unread novels and my job at Joe's. Lesley was busy too; trying to work her shifts while helping me locate my baby daddy's whereabouts. Apparently, it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be, and turns out, he was a hard man to find. I admit it did get me riled up. I mean, choosing to keep this child was a tough decision. What if Lesley never found him and I had to raise my child alone without child support or a father figure? Needless to say, by Wednesday, I felt much better. I'd visited the hospital for an official report. Thankfully, a local clinic took me in, though they made me wait a day. Later that evening, I called my mom to check on her, I felt guilty hiding the fact of my pregnancy from her but I didn't think she was ready to know. Most especially when she still played matchmaker and tried setting up blind dates with every single hot-looking bachelor in her block. She proceeded to tell me about her job
HopeThe subway ride from Bayview to Powell street was long and I had to endure the cacophony of noise usually brought about by people constantly fighting over free seats. Fast forward half an hour later and I was standing in front of an enormous lobby whilst running my hand over the red dress Lesley had picked out for me. Taking a deep breath in and adjusting my little dress one more time, I made my way through the entrance.The receptionist; a flawlessly dressed auburn-haired girl around my age sat behind a marbled desk. She smiled pleasantly at me. "How can I help you?""Hi, yes, please. I'm here to see Killian Fobster." "Is he expecting you?""I called to schedule a meeting yesterday.""What is your name?""Hope Sterling."She smiled. "Excuse me one moment, Ms. Sterling," she consulted something behind her desk for a moment. "Great, you are expected. Please take the last elevator on the right to the sixteenth floor."After handing me a security tag stamped with the company's lo
KillianI'd never felt so disgusted in my life. Pregnant? By me? Bullshit. It couldn't be me, I was careful, I always was. And I should've been working instead of downing my third glass of alcohol but that bitch undid me and completely fucked up the rest of my day. Perhaps my week. Fuck. She'd left me unable to focus on work, and all I could do was curse under my breath and gulp more chugs as I thought back to the night I'd fucked her with abandon. I lifted the glass to my lips, letting the final drops slide into my mouth. Strictly speaking, it wasn't any of my business thinking back to that night but Hope was shaping up to be the major cause of my trainwreck, and right now, I wasn't sure of anything anymore. What if... She hadn't been lying? The look on her face should have been enough to make me believe her but I just didn't want it to be true. What if there was a slight chance that she was pregnant with a child, with my child. A child that I most de
HopeI tried to get enough air, I tried to breathe properly, but the pain I felt was so intense that I wasn't sure I could win the battle. My arms wrapped tightly around myself. It felt like I was falling apart. I'd never felt this way before. It was new. Unwanted. I never wanted to experience it again. "Hope, please tell me what went wrong," Lesley implored, handing me another roll of tissue wipes. "I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened." I shook my head, tears falling from both sides of my eyes as I blew into the wipe and tossed it aside. I made a total fool of myself. Stupid, stupid! What was I honestly expecting? Lesley bit her lip, blowing a heavy huff of what could only be frustration. "You burst inside your house bawling your eyes out, and now you expect me to sit and watch like nothing happened?" I closed my eyes, inhaled, and forced myself to stop crying. Killian Fobster was an asshole who didn't deserve my tears. He didn't deserve this
Killian My life was pretty easygoing. Wanted a Rolls-Royce Sweptail? I got a Rolls-Royce Sweptail. Wanted to spend a month in Switzerland? I spent a month in Switzerland. Wanted a penthouse apartment with a view of the big city? I bought a penthouse apartment. For as long as I could remember, I lived my life how I wanted— controlling the outcomes and everything else that revolved around it—but recently everything was starting to fall out of place and it began about the time that woman with the body of the devil and face of an angel walked into my office. I tried but I just couldn't understand why such a woman intrigued me. I usually preferred my women glamorous and stylish with confidence and experience and a heavily endowed body to go with it. Hope sterling was none of that. She was timid and plain and too innocuous for my liking, and after that night, she should've been out of my head and long-forgotten but up until this very moment, she taunted my mind with an intoxicati
HopeRejection tasted bitter in my mouth. It'd been two days but it still lingered. I groaned as I dragged myself out of the comforts of my bed and headed to the kitchen for some much-needed coffee. I'd probably need some ice too if I wanted to look anyway respectable for work. And yes I knew taking coffee wasn't healthy considering I was pregnant but a cup never hurt anyone. I slumped on the kitchen counter as I filled my mug. Today I was dragging, I'd drained myself from staying up last night. I shouldn't have stayed past my bedtime reading but it was the only solace I could find at that hour and I totally had to find out what happened to Ace after Sofia...you know... I was paying for it now. Soon enough, I arrived at work and got behind the booth. I tossed on my work outfit and began my shift even though it felt as though I was going to pass out any minute. According to the brochure I acquired from the hospital, my morning sickness shouldn't have been ge
HOPEA month later. Giving birth was the easy part— the heart-stopping contractions. Sweating like a donkey and trying to push while being spread out like some farm exhibit with strangers gawking between my knees. The yelling, the bleeding. Having my vagina stitched—it didn't seem terrifying at all.Know what was?Having to deal with all this baby weight that came after.I cursed my misfortune, turning to look at myself sideways in the mirror. After my pregnancy with Ryan, my body has yet to regain its original shape and for me, that was pretty devastating. "What's taking so long?" Killian asked, as usual, walking into my room unannounced but I was too annoyed to care if he saw me standing in my underwear or not. "What's wrong?" He strolled with lith grace towards me, and I found it ironic how he got to look this perfect while I carried all the scars and weight that came with birth. "The dress I picked out didn't fit. I feel humongous." "Hope." He sighed and stared at me through
KillianI sleepwalked through the all process of wiping the blood away from my hands and strapping into a blue overall. My brain didn't recollect any information, except the one where I was being ushered into a room with doctors hovering around the elevated bed like wild animals. I carefully stepped inside, My heart wrenching painfully in my chest as my eyes landed on Hope. She was laying with a thick pink blanket draped over her parted legs. Her pale face was strained with tears, her hair flying wildly across her face. She was sweating, eyes closed tight with the pain."Hope, you need to push," the doctor demanded, but she shook her head, groaning in pain. "I can't," she breathed, keeping her eyes closed as her legs quivered. "I can't. It hurts.""Hope..." My voice broke as I moved closer to her, calling her desperately and I wasn't sure if she had heard me but then her bloodshot eyes pushed open and the moment they met mine, my chest felt tight; like I was being suffocated. "Ki
Killian My heart wasn't made of stone. It was just like everyone else's, and right now, it hammered against my ribs so painfully I was sure I'd die. But I didn't stop.I squeezed the stirring wheel as I sped down the freeway, trying to exhaust myself, trying not to think. I was running—away from my life, away from my thoughts, away from Hope.The look on her face when I'd zoomed off taunted me. Hearing the pain in her voice as she begged me to stay wounded my heart. It felt like someone had cracked open my ribs and gripped my beating heart in their hands only to nearly squeeze the life out of it. The guilt ate me alive. I shouldn't have left her that way, but despite the pain, I did it because I was hurting, because I was scared that if I stayed, I'd only be caging her. I couldn't do that. I couldn't hurt her any more than I already had. So I wanted to go. I wanted to go back to my life where she meant nothing to me.But how could I ever do that when she'd taken up all the space t
I was in a complete daze when I walked back into my apartment.My heart broke and it felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I didn't want to believe that Killian was gone. I didn't want to believe that he had left me again. Maybe it was all a dream, maybe if I closed my eyes or if I pinched myself hard enough he'd—"Great, you're back," Scott's voice pulled me out of my tailspin. He stepped out of my kitchen with a cup of coffee in his hand and looked at me like nothing had happened; like he hadn't just sold his pride and driven the love of my life out of the door. "Now that you're here, we can talk about your flight schedule." My fist clenched by my side. When I said nothing but glared at him with all the hate and anger and fury I could muster, he released a long breath. "Come on, why are you looking at me like that." He walked toward me and stretched out his cup. "Drink this, you'll feel better."I slapped his hand along with the cup out of my face and watched as it shat
My heart was palpitating. It pounded hard, so hard that I swore it would burst out of my chest. "What the hell are you doing here?!" Scott barked, charging at him again but I quickly wormed my way in between them."Scott please stop.""No." He hissed, his eyes filled with so much rage as he shoved me aside and jammed Killian against the wall. "I thought I told you I didn't want to see you anywhere near my sister?! What part of leave her the fuck alone didn't you understand!" Killian groaned. God no. He was bleeding. This was all my fault. I shouldn't have let him in. I shouldn't have asked him to stay. "Scott, I'll explain," I held his arm desperately. "Please let him go.""Stay out of this," he gruffed, flinging his arm away from mine so harshly that I stumbled backward but caught myself with the support of the counter."Let me fucking go!" Killian barked, ripping Scott's hand away from his throat and staggering back, fighting to get his air. For a moment, he looked like he woul
"Kiss me," I implored, once again enslaved by my body, unashamed of my words. "Kiss me, Killian."I never really understood the power of desire until this very moment, until we were both inside my apartment, standing inches away from each other, feeding off the sensations, the overwhelming sense of need and desire. "I'm afraid to do so." My breath quickened. "Why?" "Because," he took a step closer to me, so close, I could barely breathe. But rather than kissing me, he swept my hair over one shoulder and ran his fingers over my bare neck. "There's so much I want to do to you right now, there's so much I feel." He admitted, trailing his hand down my arm. "But I'm afraid I might hurt you again."A burst of pleasure shot through me at his words. "You won't hurt me, Killian, I know you won't. So kiss me right now.""Are you sure?" he murmured, his words falling mere inches from my lips. "Because once I do, I might not be able to stop.""I trust you."That seemed to do the trick because
HopeAfter dinner, Killian and I walked the beach a while in comfortable silence, watching the scanty crowd. Life here seemed so different, so surreal, carefree, easy. "Everyone here seems happy. It's amazing.""If you like it so much, we could always relocate."I snapped my head to look at him. He shrugged. "It'll be a good chance to get away from everything. There are lots of free rooms, we could maybe make one into a nursery." I released my breath in a soft sigh. "Killian, stop saying things like that."He chuckled softly. "I mean it. You're the only woman I've ever brought here, that's because you mean a lot to me.""Not even Megan?" I wanted to suck the words back in the second they slipped out because he stared at me with an emotion that choked me. "On second thought, don't answer that," I said quickly and looked away from him. "Not even her." His words sent a flutter to my belly. "Really?"He smiled. "Let's find somewhere to sit, your feet must hurt."They did. I nodded an
HopeI stood in front of the large mirror on the wall and smoothened my dress over my bump. As much as I would've loved to lay down in my bed and cry my feelings away all night, I still had an evening with Killian Fobster to get through first. For some last-minute adjustments, I applied eyeliner and pinched my cheeks, satisfied with my look. I took in a deep breath and flitted back into the bedroom in search of my shoes. That was when a knock sounded on my door. It had to be Killian.My nervousness topped up a notch. I quickly kicked the pizza wrapping underneath the couch and padded barefoot towards the door, trying not to show entrepreneurial oomph.When I opened it, his dark eyes caressed me, gliding from my head to my toes before lingering back on my face. "Can I come in?"I blinked away the hotness I felt and immediately released the door handle for him to step in."You're here a little earlier than I expected, I'm not done getting ready yet," I told him, watching as he looke
Killian I'd spent the better part of my morning clearing the piled-up stacks of documents on my desk. The other part consisted of planning a date that put me in a royally pissed mood because nothing was going the way I wanted it to. What the fuck was I thinking when I'd said that in the first place?I had rehearsed last night a thousand times since my conversation with my mother. What I'd say to her, how I'd make my plea. And I thought I'd figured it out but then this happened and I had only a few hours to plan the perfect date. That woman was going to be the death of me; I just knew it.I took off my glasses and tossed them on my desk. My mind was trying to narrow down a plan but nothing fit, nothing fucking fit. I scrubbed my hands over my face and I inhaled a deep breath before pressing the intercom button. "Cleo?"I waited for her to reply or at least walk into my office but when nothing happened after a minute, I pressed it again. "Cleo?"Another minute passed. Was it so impo