What the heck are you doing on Tinder?

Lilith’s POV

Looking at the message on my phone, I decided to excuse myself. My hands were shaking with excitement. That’s how badly I feel about him.

“Are you okay, baby?” my dad asked. He must have noticed how shaky I was.

“Yes, Daddy. I’m alright,” I replied, giving him a small smile. I stood up to head to my room.

“Goodnight, Daddy,” I said quietly, not waiting for a response. I hurriedly climbed the stairs to my room, my body brimming with excitement. This house will always hold so many memories for me. Some are happy, but some are painful.

As much as I hate to admit it, those memories are haunting me now, especially after what my mom did. I don’t really know how I’m feeling, and maybe that’s why I’ve put all my energy into messing with my dad’s best friend. I guess I’m not that different from my mom after all.

I opened my bedroom door and stepped inside. My dad kept the room exactly as it was. My favorite dolls are still around, and the walls are still painted in my favorite blue color. I dropped onto the bed, feeling emotionally drained from the day.

I finally opened the message from Bastian:

“I’m sorry for what happened earlier. It shouldn’t have. I’m trying my best to protect you, Lilith. If you keep pushing, I will stop seeing you and block you if I have to. It’s my job to protect you. Love, Bastian.”

Ha! This is ridiculous. Protect? What does he think he’s protecting me from? I let out a deep sigh, feeling tired and frustrated at chasing him. At first, I admit I just wanted to use him as a rebound to forget what happened to me, to move on from the betrayal. But, as I kept chasing, my old feelings rekindled. 

Bastian is a great man. Even though my dad might not like me seeing him, he’ll come around if Bastian can just stop seeing me as a kid who needs protecting. My dad will eventually approve of us.

I guess it’s time I back off. I can't keep chasing a man that I don't want me. I won’t bother Bastian anymore. I’m tired of chasing people, just like I chased my mom, which led to the mess with Markle.

I sent a reply to Bastian:

“Hi Bastian, I got your message. I’ll do as you asked. If running from what you feel helps you sleep better at night, I’ll respect your wishes.”

I pressed send, and he read the message a few seconds later. So much for saying sorry. Whether he admits it or not, he can’t do without me. He needs and wants me as much as I do him. I smiled to myself, feeling sneaky excitement and a bit better.

I took off my clothes and stepped into the warm bath that had already been prepared by the maid. It felt amazing, the scent of my jasmine body wash filling the room. I squeezed some vanilla scrub into my hands and began my routine.

While scrubbing, my mind wandered to my plan to move out. I decided I’d be moving within the week. My dad mentioned taking over his company, but I’m not interested in business. That’s his thing, not mine.

I studied software engineering at Jammies University in Los Angeles, and I’ve already sent my resume to S Electronics without telling Bastian or my dad. I want to get the job based on my own skills and abilities.

I’m good at what I do. I created a program that lets one phone charge another, as long as one is fully charged. I sent that idea along with my resume. I’ve got an interview at the New York branch on Monday, and I really hope I don’t see Bastian there. He’ll only be a distraction.

After my bath, I came out, my skin glowing from the water. Looking in the mirror, I could see how much I resembled my mom. With my Latino features and my dad’s pale skin, red hair, and green eyes, I stand out. I could pass for an Asian, but I’m not. Asians are stunning people. 

As I pat my body dry. All I could do was admire my reflection and curse out Markle for trying to make me feel inferior. Markle, after countless pleas and no response from me, changed his tactics. He started manipulating and cursing out my looks.

Markle’s cruel words once again tried to creep into my mind, but I pushed them away. He had told me I should feel lucky someone like him paid attention to me, that he was "settling" for me. It was all lies and BS!

I know I’m beautiful. More than beautiful. As I looked at my curvy figure in the mirror, I knew I was breathtaking. I brushed my hair, wrapped the towel around it, and went to my bed to reply to some emails while I sipped coffee and ate cookies, which my dad’s maid had brought up.

I felt bored. Usually, when I feel this way, I’d message Bastian, but that’s not happening tonight. Thoughts of him creep into my mind, his blue eyes, and his strong body. For a man his age, he was better looking than any celebrity. There was even a famous actress, Megan Smith, who had been obsessed with him, but she couldn’t win him over.

The fact that I could make a man like Bastian lose control excites me. I wish he wasn’t so uptight. Feeling restless, I decided to make a profile on Tinder, looking for a date, to take my mind off things. My social skills have always been terrible so I don't have any friends. The only one I had, had betrayed me.

I know I could have easily picked any of the guys from my old school, that had been disturbing me since my breakup but no, I wanted someone like Bastian. I set up my profile, and within seconds, I started getting DMs.

“What the heck are you doing on Tinder?”