Lance
The night was almost as typical as every other night; there’s always the strong presence of the sharp nose-pinching cold breeze. The pitch-black canvas above the sky was dotted with a myriad of stars blinking incessantly. It was such a beautiful natural view that I have learned to appreciate its mesmerizing beauty every single night. Maybe for normal people it was just a distinctive night sky filled with a myriad of stars blinking endlessly, but for me, it's like a painting painted by the greatest painter of all time, God.
It was a wonderful creation that is created to let us stare at their natural beauty and just dream about some of the things that we want in life. It may not be wonderful enough to repair our poor broken hearts but it was sure wonderful enough to captivate our drive to try and find someone who can pick the pieces up and mend it.
“17?” I huffed under my breath. Hot smoke came out of my mouth and it gradually disappeared into thin air. The sound of those numbers coming out of this teenager’s mouth was just disgusting to hear. It made me feel like an ancient person even when there’s only a nine-year gap between us. That’s almost a ten-year gap, a decade per se, and that gap seemed to translate as if I’ve been alive since the time of the dinosaurs. Or maybe I was just exaggerating but that’s how I feel.
I took a huge bite of the warm siopao bun, chewed it for a few seconds before finally swallowing it. The bun tasted like shit much to my surprise, and I wished I had chosen the hotdog bun instead. My attention was instantly captured by the sight of Jayler enviously staring at me. He was just holding the pack of cigarette on his right hand and the one stick that he pulled from the pack on his left. He was carefully watching me chew as if I’m chewing it like it’s the best siopao bun in the world.
"You hungry too?" With another mouthful, I paused from chewing and forced myself to speak. Jayler just gave me an awkward hesitant smile that basically screamed how hungry he was but was shy to ask.
"Here, let's split it." I pinched the center of the bun, split it up into two then handed the other half to Jayler.
“No, it’s okay, man! I’m fine.” He was evidently hesitant, perhaps he was told by his parents not to take food from strangers.
“Just take it. I know you’re hungry.” I pressed on knowing that he already took the pack of cigarette so basically there’s no point in saying no.
"T-thanks, sir!" The teenager eventually gave up and took the half that I was offering.
"Stop calling me sir. I may look old but I’m still quite young to be called something like that.” I let out a short chuckle. There’s a small part of me that’s a little bit embarrassed by essentially being called old. I don’t even look like a person who’s in a position of authority to be called ‘sir’.
“I-I don’t.”
“Oh right, I haven’t told you my name yet. My bad.” I paused realizing this poor kid has been talking to a nameless stranger all this time. “My name's Lance. Lance Anderson."
There was a moment of silence right after. The kid took a bite from the siopao bun and I was greatly expecting him to say something about the taste of it but he just took another bite and another until there was nothing left. He just devoured the shitty siopao bun in just a minute. I was exactly right, he was dead ass hungry and that’s probably the reason why he did not say anything about how shitty the bun was.
“You’re really hungry, huh?” I trailed.
“Yeah, I did not eat dinner.” Jayler replied instantly.
“Here,” I offered the other half to him as my thoughts tried to convince myself that I’m already full but in reality I just don’t like the taste of it.
“No, I’m good.”
“No, just take it. I’m already full anyway.” I pressed on and just handed him the half even if he was acting hesitant.
“Are you sure?” He looked at me and I just nodded with such firm conviction painted on my face.
“Yup.”
“T-thank you.” He replied and he subsequently devoured the rest of the bun with such hunger just like how he consumed the first half that I gave him.
By the time he was finished eating, he let out a short burp basically letting me know he’s at least full.
“Sorry about that.” Jayler uttered sounding more shy.
“By the way, what are you doing out here at this time of the night?” I asked out of pure curiosity. I took a quick glance at my watch and it’s already fifteen minutes before midnight. “Aren’t you supposed to be home?” I added noting the fact that kids like him shouldn’t be out here.
I may have a hint as to why a minor was still out here. This kid’s probably partying and couldn’t resist the urge to smoke. But what can I say, I know a lot people like him when I was his age.
“I’m drinking with my friends.” He replied and just as I thought, he was out here living his teenage life.
He reached for his pocket and fished a black nondescript Zippo lighter. He flipped the base lid of the lighter and a bright orange and yellow varying hue of flame came out to life. He popped the mint from the center of the cigarette's butt first before eventually lighting it.
"Your lighter is cool." I said looking at the lighter.
"Thanks, I just stole it from my dad's collection.” He spat. He lit the stick and then subsequently puffed a smoke. “He has a lot of these. He won't even notice this one’s missing."
The unhealthy yet soothing smell of the smoke from the cigarette filled the air as Jayler started to puff and blow.
"You do know that smoking is bad for your health, don't you?" I uttered which was weird that I was reminding him this kind of thing when I the one who bought the cigarette in the first place. It was odd that I became like a concerned teacher or a guidance counselor instantly, like a moment of hypocrisy just kicked inside of me making me puke hypocritical question.
"Of course. I do know that." Jayler became wickedly confident in a pinch, a short statement from a teenager who accurately distinguishes bad things from good things but still does the bad things regardless.
"Then why are you still doing it?" I asked. It’s not like I don’t know the answer but perhaps I just wanted to hear his opinion.
"I don't know. Maybe because I believe that we, humans, are perfectly imperfect." Jayler shrugged and the brilliance in him started to show itself. A strong and somehow compelling poetic tongue spat the words out of his mouth.
"And how is that related to what I just asked?" I asked further. I thought I knew what he was going to say but his response was such a surprise to me.
"Err. We are perfectly imperfect that we also need guilty pleasures, some bad things like this in life. It's the deepest darkest part of being a human, some of us might be ashamed of it but there is only one truth out of it, aside from us being ashamed of the skeleton in our very own closet, and that is we are certainly not complete without doing it."
I was completely taken aback by Jayler’s further elaboration of his initial answer. I immediately regret asking him that second question because I wasn’t expecting this kind of rebuttal most especially from a teenager who’s out here drinking alcohol.
I’m more than shocked about this kid’s apparent eloquence that I ended up just staring at him as he continued spitting his opinion. "It's like a necessity. We can't live without it, you know. Even the most religious person out there has a dark secret."
"Okay, that's something interesting." I spat out feeling like I don’t have anything else to say to him. This kid might be quite young and delinquent but he definitely has his own point of view for things like this. His eyes are definitely open.
“Hey, Lance! I’m sorry to cut this conversation short but I have to go back now, my friends are waiting for me.” Jayler said. It was very respectful of him and although I enjoyed my short conversation with him, I don’t have anything else to say.
“Yeah, they’re probably looking for you.”
"Do you want to come inside and drink with my friends?" Jayler offered pointing towards the direction of this club named Fountain of Youth.
"Naah, I have to go home now. I have tons of work to do tomorrow." I shook my head instantly declining his kind invitation.
Jayler MendozaWalking back inside the club, I was already expecting the neon lights to blast my eyes off and they did just as much as the booming music pierced right through my eardrums. The neon lights coming from the ceiling and who knows where else, were dancing crazily and at intervals they were going in sync with the beat of the music. I had to tardily usher myself towards the very back end of the room passing an entire sea of drunk people grooving to the remix of Roses by The Chainsmokers."What took you so long man?!!” Kenneth raged the moment I showed up to our table. He was sounding a bit more impatient but that’s so expected of him. He’s always been that one friend who just can’t live a day without fuming over something petty. “And where the hell’s our cigarette?" He followed up making his already loud voice even louder, the sharp fragrance of impatience lingered a
JaylerThe never ending knocking on my door forced me to wake up and immediately suffer from the hangover that was just waiting to swoop in. I jerked upright and the headache struck me almost instantly the moment I opened my eyes. I forgot to close the blinds last night and my eyes burned with the brightness of the day. I shoved the thick blanket out of my body eventually scratching my head out of pure irritation. I don’t know what time I got home or how did I even got home in the first place but I’m pretty sure I needed more time to sleep. Whoever’s knocking on my door just won’t stop knocking even after a few knocks and it’s honestly infuriating.My head felt heavier when I stepped out of the bed. I waited for several seconds just to get my shit together before eventually trudging towards the door."What?!!!" Evidently pissed, I scoffed at the old lady who showed up the mo
LanceThe smell of freshly steeped jasmine tea invaded my nostrils as I stood firmly in front of the cash register, handing the tray to the old wrinkled lady who just ordered. I tried my best to smile as radiant as possible even though underneath the cloak of happiness, I was feeling the entire opposite. I woke up this day feeling rather sad and I don’t even know the reason why.My day job as a barista required having to put on a constant bright smile to encourage customers and bring such happiness to their day. I guess that’s too much for me for today. I used to take pleasure on smiling at random strangers when I first worked here a few years ago but over time, it became tiring and almost monotonous. It’s obviously fake and even with my co-workers doing the same exact thing as me, I knew they also feel like shit sometimes.Putting on a smile is one thing but having to put
LanceI stood firm and almost motionless with the rest of the tightly packed people inside the elevator of the mall, everyone wearing the very same tense and doleful expressions appropriate to an evening after a long tiring day. I’m not claustrophobic at all so it’s not a problem being packed in a steel box along with everybody who works at the mall. However, the smell of a long tiring day was very much evident the moment you enter the elevator and I had to endure this kind of shit every time I time out of my day job.As the elevator slides down towards the ground, I felt the titillating buzz of my phone from the pocket of my tight jeans. With so much difficulty, I tried extricating it with my elbow pressing unpleasantly unto some unspecified flabby portion of a suited old paunchy man right beside me. Having been successful at pulling my phone out, I swiped the unlock button to read a message. The m
LanceDianna’s performance was just as sickening as what we’ve all been expecting from her. We don’t get to see a lot of his performance but every time we do, he’s giving it his all. He performed a total of five songs and probably earned a lot of cash than the next drag queen’s following the line-up. We saw a lot of people really cheering and screaming to her lip-sync performance and they kept on throwing cash at him.I met Daniel, Timothy and Bradey during my freshmen year in college and honestly they were the first group of friends that I’ve met. We just instantly clicked and that was the point where I regret not making a lot of friends back in high school. I was so focused on being the golden boy and being the perfect student that I greatly missed the real thrill that high school life has to offer.I remember those early college days when Daniel was still very much hidden in the
Jayler“How’s your studies going, Jayler?” My mom asked when I got to the breakfast table this morning.It was just a normal conversation that me and sister go through once every week so it was basically expected. My mom’s always asking and checking on us every chance she gets.“Good. Everything’s doing great.” I replied which was certainly the case. Everything’s doing great at school and there’s absolutely nothing to hide. Well, except for the stuff that I’ve been doing, the partying and all of that shit.“Are you sure about that?” My mom uttered expressing her uncertainty.“Maaaa, you know I have been doing good at school. You’ve seen proof time and time again.” I replied slightly annoyed that she was unsure of me when she clearly knows that I haven’t sucked at school. She had see
JaylerFor the rest of the period, I couldn't focus on anything that Mrs. Wanson was saying. Everything that’s coming out of her mouth sounded gibberish like she just came somewhere from planet Mars and decided to do teaching. My mind was helplessly conquered by the thought of being expelled. I know the letter doesn’t literally say that this was my last day at school but the thought of me being potentially expelled out of this school was killing me from the inside out.I have seen this scenario playing out in my head and honestly, I was pretty much certain that it won’t happen at all. But I didn’t realize it was actually going to happen even having the smallest chances of actually happening. I don’t really have to know the reason for the letter of expulsion coming in because I’m a hundred percent that it was all because of the photos that were posted online. That’s got to be it. I can’t think of anything else other than that.I’m very much aware that a lot of people saw the photos and
JaylerI stared blankly at the vintage looking crucifix hanging idly at the door of Sister Salvador’s office. The crucifix appeared as if it’s been hanging there for over a century or even more than that. It’s definitely looking not that dusty, perhaps it’s been receiving far better care than most of the other crucifix hanging at every classroom.I wondered how many head nuns have been here before the time of Sister Salvador.Was she the first and only cold-hearted nun to ever become the head of this Catholic school?My heart began to race the moment I raised my hand to knock on the door. It became apparent to me that I’m not ready to face this moment quite yet. Still, I don’t have any other choice but to face this rather than delay it.I paused for a moment and closed my eyes. I tried to search for a bit of courage and I may have found an iota of it. For once, I was hoping that the head of this school will cut me some slack and hopefully doesn’t end up pushing the expulsion. I took a
The three of them left Bradey who was enjoying the company of beautiful girls grinding with him. He surrendered to his bed and pleaded for the mercy of sleep to come and rescue him butit won't just come. He began thinking about what he said a few hours earlier, at first it sounded funny and even more insane but it could possibly be the solution to his problem. Dating a man.He was always open to the idea even before he met Samantha, but he couln't just take the risk without properly thinking about it, plus he wasn't gay at all. Day by day, he is losing every singledrop of hope he had to the point that he is starting to become desperate. The thought of getting old alone was squeezing his spinal cord; he never wanted to be left alone in this world like her mother.Richard was sitting taciturnly in front of his computer monitor, tapping away the keyboard, and while sipping some of the Matcha he bought from where he worked, he did not turned hisfocus away fro
After the kiss everything went crazily awkward yet it felt like doubled heaven. However there had been no clear apprehension of moving from sleep to consciousness or if he did ever had the chance to sleep at all. At first he was just lying around eyes wide open firmly fixed above the idle ceiling. Usually things always do sink in as swift as a blink of an eye but now it actually took about less than twenty-four hours for him just to fully process and accept everything that happened. It's sure is real and it was wild, hungry, ardent, and awfully wrong in a way yet he wanted it all.He needed every second of it.Not that he was regretting it or something but it sure opened the closet to the realization of how sexually confused he is. Jasper and Kenneth kept on asking him about when will he ask somebody out, or when will he fuck somebody and as a response he was just telling them words of wisdom. It was obviously hilarious but, even if you consider how smart he is, he jus
Kenneth's increasing excitement almost gave a successful infection to Jasper and Jayler, as soon as the lazy tattooed bouncer let them in without even having some second thoughts or even laying an eye to verify their legality, they started moving with the funky beat playing within the background. Clearly, even a nine year old kid could tell, they seem to resonate sheen light of minority within them though, in the most teenager sense of thinking, they dressed themselves plausibly in accordance and tried to be as oblivious as possible. They were successful about it, no one noticed and even if someone actually noticed they wouldn't give a damn anyway. They were just having fun and having fun means breaking rules, or at least that's how teenagers believe it to be."Oh lord I’ve got to admit I missed this damn place” Kenneth whistled.“Are you fucking kidding me Kenneth?” Jasper blurted in response while giving him a disbelieving glare.“Well, yeah I was here yesterday and the day before t
The long and tiring day finally reeled to an end, Richard arrived at his unit at exactly eleven pm with the thought of Jayler actually staying in, and as usual like yesterday and the day before that,there was no sign of Jayler to be found. He was not fine with it, he doesn't understand why or how did something like this be happening to him but he felt like just being with him soothes allthe sores of a tiring day, but he has to be fine with it, and of course realizing the mere fact that his shift ends at 10 pm, Jayler probably had gone home, he has some parents and a sister toworry for his safety. He has a family, a sweet thing that he had once. And this is Friday night, and Friday nights were supposed to be the youngest of the young nights for him, and even if heis already at the early stages of getting real old to this crappy life, he and his friends still have the finest time to seek pleasure with their party people mindset. The clamorous thought of feeling
Friday came crashing down like a tremendous blazing fireball of blessing, aside from the mere fact that Fridays were always a blessing, it was the last day of Jayler's three day suspension andafter that he can finally return back to school. He woke up very much delighted with the idea that it was all over at last, and, just like the fresh and lustrous morning light, his smile was the brightest.He took the shower with such ease and pleasure while singing some part of a certain song, humming happily into its funky and perky beats and later on doing some awkward dance moves.He arrived thirty minutes earlier today at Richard's condo unit, appearing quite youthful and reinvigorated as ever. Purely for his own amusement, in the high spirits of this stirring and exciting day,Jayler had been trying to act accordingly, keeping himself pulled together, as he found how endearing Richard could be, who based on the sole evidence of his bachelor upbringing have sethi
It was past ten before Richard arrived at Fidelitea. This was the hour when he found Fidelitea most lovable; the shop was not yet the busiest, the smell of fresh teas making its way to invadehis nostrils never failed to relieve his accumulating anxiety, and he was so eager to kick start the bright day with his indefatigable enthusiasm bolstered by the good night sleep he mustered.Though, a thousand of trembling hearts were beating restlessly in close proximity within this heaving ancient mall, and many of them, after all, would be aching in agony but his heartache wasfar worse than theirs. Considering all of the things, whether all of the good or the bad, that happened in his past, he was impotently reduced into nothing but an incapacitated marionette madeout of fragile skins and broken bones with a deplorable heart from stitches of mismatched parts from varying textiles that were scraped out from the anguishing memories of all of his past lovers.Strang
"What the fuck is that?" He mumbled quietly, precisely questioning what was that that he just felt earlier. His heart was still fluttering like a butterfly until now. The stare was still like the oddestfive seconds of his entire life, it was as though a moment from a romance series where the lead actor accidentally stared at his leading actress and the time suddenly went into a slow phaseof motion happened to him. This was, as far as he knows, the very first time that something like that happened and it was undoubtedly unexplainable that made his heart tramble, jerk and flutter.He walked out of the shower room then went to dress himself. Hardly aware that he had moved, he found himself lying motionless back in his own bed in which he had spent the latter of thecold night, slowly and lazily scrolling down onto his social media accounts. Fortunately, thanks to several groups of fandom that follows him, the girl who posted their kissing photos receivedmyri
Denny was promptly fished out from the short film of bittersweet memories that he was virtually viewing in his mind by a loud ring coming from his cellphone. He came to his sense and tardilypicked up the call. It was Bradey."Hello?""Where are you?" asked Bradey."At home, why?" His voice was soft and broken."Why you sound like that?" Bradey asked inquisitively."I'm watching Korean drama" Denny lied, he doesn't want to but it appears that Bradey doesn't remember that today is Jesse's death anniversary."Oh, I didn't know you watch those stuffs" Bradey knew that Denny hated dramas and he was baffled that Denny is watching Korean dramas."Now you know, now can you please spit the reason why you called because I'm really busy crying about this sick drama" Another lie. Denny truly hated dramas, too much that without beingaware of it, he became one."Er, I just want to ask help from you""Proceed""I'm calling here fr
Jayler decided to stay outside of the guidance counselor's office. He was quivery and unsteady; he kept on moving around, back and forth, doing random things that he thought might keephis nervousness down. Anxiety was sending several swift arrows of thoughts inside his brain. Can Richard make a good bargain with the guidance counselor? Will he be successful? Will hebe convincing enough to act as his uncle? All of it was softly and slowly killing the very most of him and the longer he waits, the more queasy he gets. Slowly, he was losing the dull light ofhope he have and was already on the verge of detaching himself from present towards the future of what will probably happen to him. Finally, the squeaking sound of an opening door awakenedand pulled him back to his sense."How did it go?" The uneasy anticipation of a good answer forced him to run instantly in front of Richard."Shush" Richard shushed him, pulling him into the farthest corner of the b