Chapter Seven

Lance

Dianna’s performance was just as sickening as what we’ve all been expecting from her. We don’t get to see a lot of his performance but every time we do, he’s giving it his all. He performed a total of five songs and probably earned a lot of cash than the next drag queen’s following the line-up. We saw a lot of people really cheering and screaming to her lip-sync performance and they kept on throwing cash at him.

I met Daniel, Timothy and Bradey during my freshmen year in college and honestly they were the first group of friends that I’ve met. We just instantly clicked and that was the point where I regret not making a lot of friends back in high school. I was so focused on being the golden boy and being the perfect student that I greatly missed the real thrill that high school life has to offer.

I remember those early college days when Daniel was still very much hidden in the closet. I guess he was afraid of being judged and bullied but the moment I admitted that I was bisexual, he quickly followed up and just came out of the closet knowing that I’m part of the community that he was in. While I was a bit stoic at the time, it was very emotional for Daniel. That was one of the best moments of my life mostly because Bradey and Timothy were very much supportive of us. They never showed disgust or anything that’s very homophobic. They were very accepting of us and even though they had a lot of annoying questions to ask back then, Daniel and I joined forces and just educated them thus making our friendship stronger.

“Wow! I cannot believe you fucking did that. That was a great performance, Dianna! You did amazing!” Bradey bellowed the moment Dianna came back to our table.

“You killed that!” I trailed.

“Thank you so much, guys!” Dianna replied cheerfully. She had already changed back to his casual black maxi dress which meant she doesn’t have anything else to do other than to drink and get fucked up with us.

Dianna and Bradey had a moment where they did chest bumps and fist bumps as if they’re playing basketball and someone just score a three pointer shot. It was fun seeing them have fun and just let loose. The alcohol really got into their system as they were very hyper and they were just bursting in laughter.

We resumed drinking knowing that the night is still quite young. The club was still very much filled with people and most of them are at the front stage where a drag queen was performing.

Three hours later, I stared blankly at the last bottle of beer clasped on my left hand, the rush of alcohol coursing through my body was already making my eyesight a bit blurry and my head dizzy. I felt blank, completely nothing, like it was just a void of emptiness. And I guess that’s the beauty of being drowned in alcohol, it has the ability to erase every thought, whether frivolous or the most serious ones that are running amok around your mind but that’s only because no one’s triggering something. Minute by minute, the room goes even hotter and hotter, the people inside are going crazier and crazier; every drop of alcohol was knocking someone out of their consciousness.

Bradey, now drunk as fuck, went dancing with some random girl who had the nerve to just come to our table and pull someone. Timothy, the weakest of us, was now lying subconsciously on the couch, blabbering random things under his breath and on his left was Dianna retouching his lipstick and looking rather normal than any of us.

Dianna doesn’t seem to be drunk at all. I know she just had a lot of cocktail with extra shots of vodka in her system but she doesn’t seem to be tipsy at all. In the long years of drinking and partying, it was her strategy to drink while in total control of herself, taking just the right sip and letting it pass out of her body before taking another sip, in that way she won't get easily drunk and he would successfully keep his state of soberness.

"I think we need to go home now." Dianna puckered her lips, gathering it into small wrinkles to make the shade look natural and sticky.

I heard what she said but I don’t feel like going home just yet. I’m sure it’s pretty early and even though I’m already drunk, I still want to get wasted. I ended up keeping my mouth shut and didn’t give a response to Dianna.

 "Oh, you all knocked out again? Seriously?" Dianna seemed flustered when no one answered her.

She reached for her hand bag then fished her phone. She took several selfies, taking her time to get the right angle of her face that screamed fierce.

"What if I try dating a man instead?" I spoke out of the blue immediately capturing Dianna’s attention. I adjusted myself on the couch to find the right comfort.

Dianna responded with a loud burst of laughter that is immediately drowned by the loud music as I just stared at her with great level of seriousness in my face.

“Exclusively?” Dianna asked the moment she realized that I was being serious.

“Exclusively!” I trailed.

"Hahahaha! What did you just say?" Gagging helplessly, Dianna returned her cellphone inside her bag and then reverted her gaze to focus on me.

"I said I might try dating a guy, exclusively." I beamed at her expressing my desire to date men exclusively. I don’t even know if that disqualifies me for being a bisexual.

"You are kidding right?" Dianna spat and gave me a "don't-fuck-with-me" look that translated perfectly.

“Does that disqualifies me for identifying as a bisexual?” I asked out of pure curiosity.

"All those girls that I’ve dated just kept on dumping me if I don’t dump them first. No one even really tried to linger a bit longer." I began to talk in a very serious manner even focusing my body language towards Dianna and that brought her inner consciousness to a ten. She emptied the last glass of cocktail then gently placed the empty glass on the table.

"Yeah, that's your curse, I guess." She replied and even though I know it was just a joke, I felt like she’s not being serious with me.

"You know we are already approaching our thirty’s and soon, the more we get older the harder we get the chance to finding true love." I continued basically rounding up our age.

"Just get to it already." Dianna urged seemingly eager to hear my point.

"And I've been thinking, what if the real reason behind why I can't stay in a serious relationship a lot longer is because I'm not really into girls?" The point just crossed my mind a while ago. I don’t even know why I said that but it was worth telling Dianna what was going through my mind.

I’m sure I still like girls but it seemed like every time I date girls nothing’s really sticking longer. Sometimes, they are problem and other times, I am the problem and I always end up dating guys right after too.

"What if I try dating guys and guys only? What if I stay away from girls from this point on?” I hashed out once again. The thought was just boggling my mind and I don’t know if this was because of the alcohol inside my system or perhaps this was one of the things that’s been keeping me down.

"That is very unlikely of you." Dianna pushed the thought out.

"I'm serious, Dianna. Maybe I’m not really bisexual at all and that’s the reason why I always end up heartbroken." I snapped.