CHAPTER SIX | I LOVE LADIES

ALPHA NATE

Blake stared at me with a mixture of expressions on his face, he is disappointed and I don't think he approves of my nervous breakdown but I don't give a fuck. I just need him to confirm to me that he has a fucking vagina. "You are so ridiculous." He said angrily and snatched his hands from me. "I am a man and I am proud to be a man, if you don't like me like this, then that's your problem." He said angrily which I find cute.

Fuck, what's wrong with me? He is a guy and I can't be finding him cute, he is definitely using a spell on me.

I looked around and I noticed a few people coming out of the ceremony of shame, I can't afford to be seen with him for too long. "Come with me." I said as I immediately turned around without waiting for his response.

How is this even possible? I love women and the moon goddess knows it, how can she give me a male mate? "This has to be a mistake." I said as soon as we entered my office.

"Are you saying that the moon goddess doesn't know what she's doing?" He asked with pain in his eyes while staring at me.

"No, that's not what I am saying. I am saying that she knows my damn preference and yet she gave me the direct opposite of what I like." I started pacing around my office because what is happening here has to be some crazy nightmare... How can my fucking mate be a guy?

"Oh I see, I am a mistake. Okay Nate, since the moon goddess is so wrong, why don't you remind her of your preferences?" I know he is being sarcastic but this is a serious issue.

"I love ladies." I stopped pacing around as I stared into his teary eyes. "I love ladies with long hair, nice boobs, big ass and I love to bury my dick deep into a fucking pussy and not some asshole. Now tell me dear mate, do you have all the qualities I just listed?" I asked but I suddenly felt bad when I saw tears roll down Blake's cheeks.

My wolf groan and I know he is not in approval of my behavior but if only the moon goddess had given me what I deserve, this won't be happening right now. I love ladies and everyone fucking knows. "No I don't, I am a man and maybe you are right, maybe the moon goddess actually made a mistake because I don't deserve a man like you. I don't deserve to be with an arrogant homophobic man like you. I deserve to be with man that will be happy and proud to be with me and not a guy that is obviously still in the closet and..."

"Don't you dare say that to me ever again, I am not gay nor am I in a closet, I am a real man, so watch your fucking language." I interrupted him before he could finish saying his nonsense.

Why is this happening to me, why would the moon goddess do something like this to me? This has to be a prank, a mistake or maybe a punishment. "Definitely a punishment, the moon goddess has to be punishing me for something." I said after thinking about it for a while.

This is probably because of what I did to Raphael a while ago, it's against the law of the land to be gay and we have banished a few others that broke the law, I can't just overlook Raphael because he is my best friend, so he needed to be banished... I did the right thing, so I don't understand why the moon goddess is punishing me for my actions.

"Can you stop being ridiculous? I know this is a shock to you and I am not what you were expecting but the moon goddess doesn't make a mistake and there is a reason she made you my mate. So stop whining, are you not a tad bit curious as to why the moon goddess paired us together?" He moved closer to me and he ran his hand across my face and my body betrayed me again as I shivered at his touch. "Has any of the ladies you have been with made you shiver like this?" The answer is no but before I could say anything, he tiptoed and claimed my lips in a kiss and I caught myself leaning in.

"Stop." I pulled away but I didn't push him this time.

I hate myself for reacting to his touch the way I did and I feel like an hypocrite for enjoying the kiss and for noticing that he has soft lips. "Fuck." This is not right.

I am not gay, I hate gays. Every man should be with an opposite sex and not the other way around. So why would the moon goddess do this to me of all people when she knows exactly how I feel.

"I can't do this Blake, I don't want a fucking guy as my mate." I put a distance between us because I don't want him to touch me. Every touch from him leave a lingering spark in my body and I shouldn't feel the way he makes me feel, I want a female mate.

"Let me get this straight, are you saying all this because I am a guy or because of your reputation or because you are afraid that people will talk when you finally lift the stupid law for your benefits." Well it's all of that but also the fact that I don't want to be attracted to a guy.

I love every body part of a lady and I just want it to remain like that, besides I just banished my best friend because his mate is a guy, how will I now go around and do the same thing he did. This doesn't make any sense to me, I still believe that the moon goddess is punishing me for something.

"No, it's none of that." I lied. "It's because I am not gay, I am attracted to ladies." I said but I am not sure if I am trying to convince myself or him because if I am only attracted to ladies, why then do I feel a spark whenever our bodies touch and why do I shiver and enjoy his kiss?

"I don't believe you Nate, you shiver at my touch and you even kissed me back, I think you are just scared to accept your true identity. This is a proof that the moon goddess knows you and you can hide from the rest of the pack but you can't hide from the moon goddess and your reaction towards me is proof that she didn't make a mistake."

This doesn't even make sense, how can I be gay and not know? I have grown up knowing that it's wrong to be attracted to the same gender and I grew up hating gays. So how can I be gay and why did the moon goddess give me a guy as my mate?

My father will flip when he finds out, he will be so disappointed and he can even banish me. This is not good and even the pack members will lose their faith and respect in me if they find out that I am as filthy as the rest of the pack members that I have already banished. This is a disaster and I can't let it happen.

"I don't care what you think, all I know is that I am fucking attracted to ladies. Which means that I am not gay, the moon goddess is either playing pranks, punishing me for something or maybe this is all a mistake." I said as I made my way to my chair behind the desk.

"You know what, I will give you time to wrap your head around all of this, take as much time as you need to figure things out but I know at the end, you will come to the realization that the moon goddess didn't make a mistake and you are just a closeted gay." He made his way to leave my office.

"Stop, you can't leave." I can't let him leave my sight until we figure this out, I can't let him go out there and tell people that he is my fucking mate.

"Why not? It's obvious you are confused and you don't want me here."

"I'm not confused but you are right, I don't want you here or in my life especially as my mate." I stood up and moved closer to him. "You might be right, maybe the moon goddess didn't make a mistake but I know what I want and it's not you. Give me your full name, I have to reject you, this is the best thing to do."

"Best thing for who? You right?"

"Look, I am doing you a favor as well. I am not the guy for you, like you said you deserve a better person and I am not that person, so I have to reject you." I said frankly.

"No Nate, the moon goddess didn't make a mistake, so I won't accept your rejection."