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A Love of Despair
Last Updated : 2024-12-09
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My husband's true love's son starts burning up in the middle of the night. He leaves me behind to take him to the hospital. I clutch my belly and wait for him to return, but all I get is news of my child dying of asphyxiation. I'm in agony after losing my child, and I lose hope in everything. I jump off the building and welcome death. When I open my eyes again, I'm back to the day that I slip and fall and give birth prematurely. This time, all I want is for my child to be born safe and sound. Nicholas Zimmer, I don't want you anymore!
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A Love of Despair Chapter 9
For a long time after that, Nicholas didn't come and bother me.One afternoon, while I was out for a stroll with Serene, a soldier came running up to me—he served under Nicholas."Mrs. Zimmer, Commander Zimmer injured his leg on a mission. Please come by to see him," he said.I declined, saying, "I'm not going. He has plenty of doctors and nurses to look after him. It's not like he'll get better any quicker if I visit him."The soldier had a grim look on his face as he explained, "The doctors say that Commander Zimmer's injuries are quite severe this time. He might have to cut his military career short."That startled me. Nicholas has been in the army for over a decade now, and he excelled as a soldier. In fact, he was one of the top-performing ones in the entire base. How did he end up so badly injured?Seeing that my attitude had shifted slightly, the soldier doubled down."The doctors say that perhaps he might recover faster if his family is there to support him. Please visit
Last Updated : 2024-12-09A Love of Despair Chapter 8
Flicking my slightly numb hand, I questioned Anna, "Am I supposed to forgive you just because you apologized? This party today is in celebration of my daughter. You're the one who shamelessly decided to come even though you weren't invited. Why did you come here anyway? To flirt with Nicholas?"If you and Liam had kept to yourselves and not caused any trouble, I have no problem treating you guys to a meal. But instead, you pretend to be all pitiful while your son hurts my daughter. Well, you can't blame me for not showing any mercy now."Pointing at the door, I yelled, "Anna, get your son and get the hell out of my house! You're not welcome here!"Anna turned toward Nicholas with a pitiful expression. Since I had humiliated her, she sought comfort from him. I was also interested to see who Nicholas would side with—his own daughter, or the son of his first love.Nicholas was put in a difficult position."Nancy, Liam shouldn't have done what he did, but he's just a child…"Was he m
Last Updated : 2024-12-09A Love of Despair Chapter 7
Soon, Serene was a month old, and we held a party to celebrate the occasion.Nicholas invited a few of his close comrades over as guests. Kendra and I spent the day in the kitchen preparing a sumptuous feast for everyone.When we were all gathered around the dining table, Anna grinned and raised her wine glass while everyone else watched."I apologize for what happened at the hospital the other day, Nancy. Would you do me the honor of accepting my toast and drinking this wine? Otherwise, it means you won't forgive me. I'll be very upset if you don't."First of all, I was still breastfeeding. That meant I couldn't have any alcohol. But even if I could, why should I show Anna any respect? Who was she to me?Swallowing the bite of food I had in my food, I replied nonchalantly, "I'm still breastfeeding, so I can't have any alcohol. Being a mother yourself, Anna, don't you know I need to watch what I consume?"Anna awkwardly set the wine glass back down and bit her lip until it turned
Last Updated : 2024-12-09A Love of Despair Chapter 6
Today was the day I was discharged, and Nicholas came to pick me up. When Kendra saw him, she gave me a knowing look and quickly made an excuse to leave, saying she had something to take care of. That left just me and Nicholas, staring awkwardly at each other.My daughter, swaddled in warm blankets, slept soundly. She was blissfully unaware of the tension around her. On our way back, the car ride was filled with silence, with the atmosphere being unbearably awkward.Nicholas cleared his throat and broke the silence. "The other day, I went after Anna to apologize. She said she understood you were upset after giving birth and that she's willing to forgive you for what happened."Nancy, be reasonable. Next time Anna and her son visit us, be a good hostess. She's not someone who holds grudges."In Nicholas' eyes, I was probably the petty one who held grudges. I didn't admit fault, yet he went ahead and did it for me? It was so ridiculous.I responded coldly, "Oh." I neither agreed nor
Last Updated : 2024-12-09A Love of Despair Chapter 5
Anna then chimed in, her voice full of guilt. "Nancy, please don't blame Nick for this. If anyone is to blame, it should be me."I'm unfamiliar with this area, and Liam's gotten so big. I'm not strong enough to carry him, so I had no choice but to ask Nick for help. Thanks to him, Liam was able to recover, but it came at the expense of you and your daughter."Her words were apologetic, but beneath them was a clear sense of pride."I'm truly useless. These past few days, I've relied entirely on Nick to take care of Liam. Without him, I wouldn't have known what to do."Seeing Anna's self-deprecating look, Nicholas immediately spoke up to comfort her. "Anna, don't say that. Raising a child on your own isn't easy. Liam is lucky to have a mother like you."Just listening to the intimate way he called her, it was clear their relationship was anything but ordinary. Emboldened by his praise, Anna shot me a sly, provocative glance.She couldn't even keep it together now, could she?Meanw
Last Updated : 2024-12-09A Love of Despair Chapter 4
When I woke up again, I was lying on a hospital bed with warm blankets covering me. As I lay flat, I felt a lightness I hadn't experienced in a while.It seemed I had given birth! But where was my baby?Worried, I tried to sit up but was gently pushed back down by a pair of hands. I then looked up to see Kendra's concerned gaze."Nancy, you've just been through a lot, so you need to rest well. Don't worry now. You safely gave birth to a daughter, and she's perfectly fine. Look," Kendra said as she leaned over slightly to bring my baby into view.My daughter's complexion was glowing and healthy, and her eyes remained shut. Wrapped snugly in a swaddle, she looked so small and delicate that my heart instantly warmed. It felt like sipping hot water on a bitterly cold winter day.Tears of joy streamed down my face. I had truly brought my child into the world safely. This time, I was determined to watch her grow up.I would get to see her take her first steps, hear her babbling words,
Last Updated : 2024-12-09A Love of Despair Chapter 3
Anna shouted desperately, "Nick, stop Nancy! She's gone crazy and wants to take me with her to die!" I maintained my grip while turning to see Nicholas. A group of doctors and nurses followed him, as did curious onlookers.Nicholas frowned, looking at me as if I were a misbehaving child. "Nancy, what are you doing? Let go of Anna right now. It's dangerous over there!"Even then, he thought I was just causing trouble. He did not care why I acted this way; all he cared about was Anna's safety. I cried out, "Nicholas, why didn't you come when I called that day? Why did you abandon me and our baby to take her child to the hospital? Do you know how much pain I was in?"I screamed hysterically, "I foolishly believed you'd come back, even as I passed out from pain, telling our baby not to be scared because you'll come to save us."But where were you? You were taking Anna's child to the hospital, completely abandoning us!"My voice was hoarse from shouting at Nicholas. Even though I t
Last Updated : 2024-12-09A Love of Despair Chapter 2
Nicholas sat by my hospital bed, his face filled with guilt. Though I knew I could not blame him entirely, I was utterly heartbroken. I cursed my own carelessness and inability to protect the child I had dreamed of for so long.What was worse was Nicholas had lied to me. He claimed he was held up by an emergency, which was why he could not take me to the hospital. Yet, that "emergency" that made him abandon me was simply taking Anna's child to see a doctor.My baby was still so tiny and innocent, but its father abandoned it before it could even see the world. My eyes reddened as tears welled up. "I need to ask Nick why he did this to us. This was our child, so how could he be so heartless?"Anna grabbed my arm, causing me to stumble and stop. She said, "Nancy, how long are you going to keep deceiving yourself?"I'm not just Nick's friend—I'm the woman he truly loves. If I hadn't married someone else, do you think you would have had any chance with Nick?" I looked up at her, my
Last Updated : 2024-12-09A Love of Despair Chapter 1
The hospital bustled with activity as I numbly followed the nurse's instructions to sit on the bench. My hand instinctively moved to my abdomen, where my baby had once been growing. It had been three months since my last period after losing my fully formed child. Worried there might be lasting complications, I finally came to get checked. As I stared ahead blankly, a familiar figure caught my eye. It was my husband, Nicholas Zimmer, carrying a child about five years old. The child had brownies smeared all over his face and held one piece in each hand. A woman stood beside them, gently wiping the boy's mouth with a handkerchief.Nicholas stood tall and commanding; the woman exuded warmth and grace, and the boy looked adorable with his rosy cheeks. They looked like the picture-perfect family—at least to everyone else. Even though it was an unbearable sight to me, I still watched them, clutching the hem of my coat tightly.When the boy suddenly whined about needing to use the bat
Last Updated : 2024-12-09
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Chapter 1
The hospital bustled with activity as I numbly followed the nurse's instructions to sit on the bench. My hand instinctively moved to my abdomen, where my baby had once been growing. It had been three months since my last period after losing my fully formed child. Worried there might be lasting complications, I finally came to get checked. As I stared ahead blankly, a familiar figure caught my eye. It was my husband, Nicholas Zimmer, carrying a child about five years old. The child had brownies smeared all over his face and held one piece in each hand. A woman stood beside them, gently wiping the boy's mouth with a handkerchief.Nicholas stood tall and commanding; the woman exuded warmth and grace, and the boy looked adorable with his rosy cheeks. They looked like the picture-perfect family—at least to everyone else. Even though it was an unbearable sight to me, I still watched them, clutching the hem of my coat tightly.When the boy suddenly whined about needing to use the bat...
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