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Chapter Twenty-one
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2024-10-29 19:42:56XIENNE
I was astounded by what Clark did. He’s still not leaving my lips and I don’t know what to do. His soft lips are not moving yet it gives me a different feeling. I held his shoulders to push him away but he already left my face so I did not have the chance to push him.
I waited for him to talk. He shook his head and place his palms on his face to cover it. No words came out of my mouth. Fortunately, no one saw us.
When I found the right words to say. I asked him. “Why did you kiss me?”
He then removed his hands from covering his face and looked at me. “I’m sorry. I was… I think I don’t know what I am doing. I’m sorry, Xienne. I did not mean to kiss you.”
I stood up and clean up my things and put them in my bag. “It’s okay. Let’s just forget that it happened.”
He nodded. “Thank you. I hope you won’t avoid me.”
I looked at him intently and heaved a sigh. “No, don’t worry. Let’s just go back to our class.”
Like what I have said, we
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XIENNEI keep on thinking about why Nikolai acted like that. He seems pissed when I saw him, his jaw was clenched. By just looking at him, I can say that there is something wrong.What is it? I don’t know anything. There’s something to me that knows what reason why yet I can’t accept it. Like it is wrong and it’s quite impossible. Nevertheless, I just shrugged it out.I’ll just ask him... when I already have the courage to. The night is keeping me awake. I am aware that some are already asleep by this time but sleepiness is not approaching me.I decided to get my diary and write what happened on my day.Dear diary,It is undeniably a long and tiring day yet I am still awake. I am not just physically tired but also mentally and emotionally. I’m drained and I don’t know how to get back. I badly want to be alone but I know... I just really want to be found.Save me... those were the words I wanted to shout yet I know, no one is willing to save
A Killer’s Diary Chapter Twenty-three
XIENNEI didn’t leave. I still chose to hear what they are talking about. I am very curious about what Clarisse had said. What does she want Rhiza to do?Rhiza is still sobbing and when she calmed. She sighed softly. I heard her clear her throat. I did not bother to peek my eyes inside anymore. It is enough to hear them.“Let’s break up,” said Rhiza.My forehead creased the later on I smiled a little. Few more, I will already make up my plan with these two. They will in my hands... easily, without exerting too much effort.“What? No! We’re not going to end this fucking relationship, Rhiza! Open your mind!” Rhiza exclaimed. I heard her chuckle with annoyance.“I already made up my mind, Clarisse. This isn’t working anymore!” A little sob from Rhiza came again. “This is not about us anymore! It is only about yourself and your bullshit ego!”I tried to look inside. Clarisse is now sitting on the floor with her palms in her face. I bet she’s cry
A Killer’s Diary Chapter Twenty-four
XIENNEWith a little talk with Nikolai, I suddenly became comfortable with him again. Thinking about the last time I saw him, he’s different now. His face is calm not like the last time that he looks kind of annoyed or irritated about something.“How’s Lexy?” I asked.He shrugged his shoulders. “We do not always see each other but I know she’s fine.”I nodded. “How about you? How are you, Nikolai?”It took a while before he answered, eventually sighing deeply. As usual, he looked up at the blue sky. The weather is cloudy now so the sun doesn't hurt the skin much, to add the fact that we are under the trees so we don't get hit by the sun rays.“As usual, Xienne. I’m just fine and trying to be okay with each passing day,” he uttered.I was silent for a moment and did not know what to say. I watched him in his entirety. Gradually his physique became more and more deteriorating, what the reason was I don’t know. I felt little pity for his condit
A Killer’s Diary Chapter Twenty-five
XIENNEMy dream never put me to sleep again. It is late at night but my eyes remain open. Drowsiness has never visited me. I was already in bed to force myself to go back to sleep but I really didn't work.I wonder if my friend Nikolai is the child of my dream. But I can no longer remember that scene. Did that really happen or was it just a dream?I don't want to think anymore but I just can't help it. A lot of things are running through my mind right now and it seems like very soon enough, my brain is going to explode.I was in a mess and didn't know what to do. It's like I just want to disappear suddenly and never be seen again.After one and a half hours adventuring in bed, eventually visited by drowsiness, I finally fell asleep. The next day, like yesterday, I woke up at noon again. Eventually, I just thought not to go to school. I just turned off the cellphone so that Ace wouldn’t annoy me and ask why I didn’t come to school.His scratching i
A Killer’s Diary Chapter Twenty-six
XIENNESeeing Kate’s body in the coffin gives me utter regret. I don’t regret it because she died early, I regret it because I wasn’t the cause of her death.I could see the sadness on the faces of my classmates. Kate's remains were interred in the church and will be buried in a nearby private cemetery here in the area. Her parents could not believe the death of their only child. They could hardly leave the child's remains and their cries were heard all over the place.Meanwhile, nothing is happening in the police investigation. It was found out that the car that crashed into Kate did not have a used license plate number. It was spotted using surveillance cameras near the scene of the accident.They are tracking using the other CCTV where the car went so they could clearly see who was driving it. Still nothing gets in the way.Slowly, my classmates died. Destiny seems to be helping me because of what happened to Kate. If I think about it and remember fr
A Killer’s Diary Chapter Twenty-seven
XIENNEBecause of the severity of my condition, I chose to stay in the hospital temporarily until I recovered. If I go home to the apartment, there is a good chance or high possibility that Lexy and Nikolai will visit me every day. My classmates might also visit me which can’t happen, they might see what’s in my room. They can't figure out my plan. I thought of that for a long time, they should not ruin my plan.I missed class for almost two days and Ace told me yesterday that our classmates might visit me when they have time after class. They already know too that Clarisse is the mastermind of what happened to me. I heard they are ignoring both Rhiza and Clarisse. I don’t think they should ignore Rhiza too, I only hate Clarisse. I also think that Rhiza has nothing to do with what happened to me, she’s too nice to agree with what her girlfriend is planning.Nikolai did not visit me since the night I was admitted here to the hospital. I don't know what he is up t
A Killer’s Diary Chapter Twenty-eight
XIENNEShee was surprised by what I have said. She stopped at her intention to jump from the rooftop. I took my eyes off herand walked towards the railings she also clings to now. I looked down at the chin and saw it was too high. Whoever jumps here will surely die, there is very little chance of surviving.“I don't understand you, you stopped me earlier from jumping and now you're making me jump? You are unbelievable, seriously,” she said.I chuckled. “You can now jump. I don't really care if you want to commit suicide. You are just one of my annoying classmates, you are also not important in my life. So why would I stop you? Don’t feel so important.”“I will really jump, Xienne. And I will forever haunt your conscience once I’m already dead,” she hissed. I just shrugged my shoulders because of her remarks. “Mark my words!”I laughed at her so hard that my stomach hurt at the laughter because of her. There was a look of annoyance on her face. I think s
A Killer’s Diary Chapter Twenty-nine
XIENNEThat incident did not put me to sleep. I watched myself, afraid that when I opened my eyes, Beatrice and Samantha, who had been dead for almost a few months, were staring at me.I was just stunned in the bedroom while sitting, I was also shaking and I didn’t know what I was going to do to calm myself down. I had no friends to call, I was afraid they might call me crazy because I had the illusion that I was seeing Beatrice and Samantha.If I only knew this was going to happen to me, I would have just kept quiet and did not kill anyone. I wish I had just let them do to me what they wanted to do. I wish I hadn’t planned to retaliate, but I could do nothing. This is my destiny.I will still pursue my plans and nothing can stop me. This is my only option. I can't take back what I've done, I'll just continue.My cellphone rang. I picked it up trembling from the bed and looked at who was calling. Ace's name registers on the screen.I calmed myself
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A Killer’s Diary Chapter Thirty-seven
XIENNEI quietly followed George, it was four o'clock in the morning and he had just finished work at a convenience store. I don't know if he still sleeps well because he is a student during the day and works at night. He looks very drowsy based on his appearance and he doesn't seem to know anything around him. It will be morning but it is still dark. I was wearing a hoodie jacket and its hood covered my head. I also look everywhere to see if there are any CCTVs. I saw nothing but outside the convenience store he worked at and I tried not to went through the camera so they couldn’t see me.George entered an alley causing me to smile, there was only one house at the end, his house. I heard the news that George is an orphan, his parents died in an accident when he was in highschool. His parents was supposed to go to his graduation from work but could not make it after their car was hit by a ten wheeler truck. What a tragic.
A Killer’s Diary Chapter Thirty-six
XIENNEThree days after Sage’s accident, while we were quietly in class, George arrived. He just came in and now he wears his usual smile that is wide enough to see his complete set of teeth, it is as if there he has good news to tell us.“Sage was said to be awake last night, I went there before I came here. He was just stunned and looked so scared, he wanted to say something but he couldn’t say it because he was having a hard time,” he said.Our classmates were immediately thrilled to hear the news. While I'm sorry because Sage hasn't really died yet. Destiny does not want to be with me. Why haven't they died yet?Some of our classmates stood up and said they were going to visit Sage to the hospital today to say hello to him and ask. Didn't they understand what George said that man could not speak. I hope they let him rest first because they still have plenty of time to ask questions.C
A Killer’s Diary Chapter Thirty-five
XIENNEI looked at them annoyed because I knew they were accusing me. It is true that I killed two of my classmates but I did not killed the others. I am not the perpetrator of the accidents. I may really have the intention to retaliate, they are not wrong about that but they don't have to blame me for everything.“Why are you looking at me? Do you think that I am taking revenge on you and that I am responsible for everything?” I asked.“It is not like that, Xienne. We’re just thinking of possibilities. We never forget that we have done something wrong to you so we can't help but think that you are taking revenge,” said Clark.If they hadn't oppressed me then, it wouldn't have happened now. It wouldn’t have gotten to the point where I had to kill just to get revenge on them. I wish they had just befriended me, I wish they had just been kind to me. I am full of wishes and hopes but I couldn't do anything.
A Killer’s Diary Chapter Thirty-four
XIENNEAfter Nikolai said those words he left in front of me and left me. I hurried to follow him but he didn't look at me even when I called him, he just kept walking until he disappeared from my sight.I stopped walking. I went there and sat on a swing, there are no kids here now because all the kids are in school. It is fun maybe goes back to childhood, you care nothing but just playing with friends.I looked at the calm sky, clouds are seemed moving in one direction. I closed my eyes at wished for better days. Since I met my classmates, every day feels like hell. They made me feel like I don’t deserve to be in this world. Like I am some kind of trash. At first, I don’t have a clue why they treat me like that but I have realized that they are insecure about me, they envy me a lot because I can do something that they cannot do.I went here to study, to become a nurse in the future. I want to study at pe
A Killer’s Diary Chapter Thirty-three
XIENNEMonday morning, we were all quiet and waiting for the teacher to arrive when Cozy, one of my classmates, arrived. He seems like came from a fast run. He was breathing heavily now as he held his knees for support. We all looked at him with confusion.He looked nervous and at the same time, shocked. We waited for him to breathe normal and speak.When he calmed down he looked at all of us and what he said next surprised us all.“Clarisse! Clarisse hanged herself in her apartment!” he shouted. “Her body was found earlier this morning by her sister who was supposed to give her foods.”We all stood up because of his news. My eyes are wide, I cannot believe she can do that. Does she blame herself because of Rhiza’s death? I’m sure she really despise herself because of that. I looked around to see my classmates reactions, some of them are in the verge of crying. Some are silent, some are s
A Killer’s Diary Chapter Thirty-two
XIENNEA few days later, our lives returned to normal. Rhiza has been delivered to her final destination. I didn’t expect that I would cry. I didn't notice that my tears were already dripping for the woman I had no love for. She is not even my friend so why I am crying? That is the question I had in my mind. I immediately wiped away the tears that dripped from my eyes and left them all there to mourn for the dead.Their tears could not bring back the dead person. The dead woman can no longer see the sadness of the people she left behind. Why are they wasting tears? They just make themselves look stupid.Clarisse has not been in school since Rhiza was buried. No one was looking for her.I don't talk to my classmates because I don't have time to pretend kind and nice to them, they don't talk to me either so it's just fine with me. With the exception of Ace and Clark, they always approached me and talked to me but they never heard an answer from me. I was just q
A Killer’s Diary Chapter Thirty-one
XIENNEThe news about Rhiza spread like a wildfire the day after that said ‘incident’ happened. My classmates were shocked when they found out what happened. They mourned for her and they regretted not talking to her because they know that Rhiza has suicidal attempts since then.Clarisse was silent, our class was almost suspended because no professor showed to teach us. Maybe because they know that the student who committed suicide came from us.I just kept quiet while watching my classmates. What I did last night is still fresh in my mind. The guard immediately saw what had happened to her and reported it to the police. They immediately concluded suicide and no foul play occurred.They didn’t know that one of the students was responsible for why the pitiful Rhiza fell from the fifth floor. No one is talking to Clarisse now because most of them are blaming her for why Rhiza committed suicide. It was part of my plan, to make my classmates blame Clarisse. Funny
A Killer’s Diary Chapter Thirty
XIENNEI just saw myself crying while listening to Nikolai. What was happening in his life was too much pain for him. He really wanted to be free but he did not know how. He is still dependent on his parents and does not have enough money to start living alone. He could do nothing.As I could see the tears welling up in his eyes, it was as if my heart was being stabbed. There seems to be something light there and I don’t know what it is— something unusual. That feeling is new to me. I wanted to hug him but I couldn't move. I could clearly see the movement of his shoulder as he bent down, signaling that he was crying.I just let him cry until he got tired, it took him a few minutes before he finally stopped crying. He adjusted himself as if nothing had happened and smiled at me, he was smiling but his eyes were sad.“Thank you for listening. Your presence is enough to somehow cheer me up,” he spoke.“You're welcome. When you need someone to talk to, don'
A Killer’s Diary Chapter Twenty-nine
XIENNEThat incident did not put me to sleep. I watched myself, afraid that when I opened my eyes, Beatrice and Samantha, who had been dead for almost a few months, were staring at me.I was just stunned in the bedroom while sitting, I was also shaking and I didn’t know what I was going to do to calm myself down. I had no friends to call, I was afraid they might call me crazy because I had the illusion that I was seeing Beatrice and Samantha.If I only knew this was going to happen to me, I would have just kept quiet and did not kill anyone. I wish I had just let them do to me what they wanted to do. I wish I hadn’t planned to retaliate, but I could do nothing. This is my destiny.I will still pursue my plans and nothing can stop me. This is my only option. I can't take back what I've done, I'll just continue.My cellphone rang. I picked it up trembling from the bed and looked at who was calling. Ace's name registers on the screen.I calmed myself
