Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

Aaliya

Life makes unexpected turns and swerves. It will crash you unannounce whether you like it or not. But, I didn’t know it would be this soon. Araw-araw pinapanalangin ko sa Diyos na sana ay ‘di na kami muling magkita. Akala ko dati, his existence doesn’t costs too much. But, it did too pricy. Everything has to be left behind to attend new priorities.

Ayaw tumigil sa pagsayaw sa indayog ng musika ang aking puso. Para itong nagsasaya sa muling pagsilay ng emosyon na biglang naisantabi at hindi pinakinggan. Tila ang mga ugat ng kahapon ay nabunot nang kusa.

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

Nakaupo kami parehas sa isang long bench with rose bushes and leaves. Nagulat ako sa tanong niya pero hindi ko ipinapahalata.

“Do you think Andrea will be happy if he knew you’d still talk to me? Kung makapagsalita ka ngayon parang wala kang asawa, ah. Mind you, Mr. Mortem, nasa kalagitnaan ng kamatayan ang asawa mo,” I retorted at him, not answering his.

His eyes changed a lot. It is way more deep and sorrowful today… or was it just because of the light reflection from the sunset? I saw his cheek turns red after I slapped him earlier. He just laughed at me as if we were even.

“Andrea and I have long been over,” sabi niya.

Mali man isipin ngunit bigla akong nakaramdam ng saya sa tinuran niya. Thinking that they were over makes my heart flutter which isn’t right. Ayaw ko ng ganiitong pakiramdam dahil ganitong-ganito rin ang sitwasyon namin noon. Ayaw ko na maging pangalawang choice lamang at kapag nagkakalabuan ay iiwan na naman sa ere. Tapos na ako sa kabanata ng buhay ko na 'yon.

Nagbalik ako sa aking ulirat at nagpaalam na umalis. Nauna ako sa kaniya at nasa likuran lamang siya. Tila dinaramdam ang katahimikan sa paligid. Bumalik na sana ako sa office at siya naman sa ICU nang biglang nagtakbuhan ang mga nurses at attendees patungong ICU kung saan naroroon si Andrea.

Tumakbo nang mabilis si Keos patungo roon at gano’n din ako. Seeing him like this made me envy. If we were together during those days, will he be like this when I fell unconscious in the street? Would he reacts to me like this when I was brought to hospital because of bleeding?

“Nasaan ba si Doctor Asistio?” galit na tanong ni Doctor Lucca sa nurse. Lagot na naman ako nito.

“I’m here, doc,” sabi ko habang hinihingal.

“Isn’t she your patient? Saan ka na naman galing? Why are you jerking around?”

Nakinig lamang ako habang pinapagalitan sa gilid dahil kasalanan ko naman talaga. It is my job to make sure everything is in order with this patient but I let it work to my first resident. Andrea wasn’t brought to operating earlier there are no brainstem reflexes and this time she should be concluded as brain dead.

Labis ang iyak ni Keos sa waiting area sa labas ng ICU. Hindi na maitsura ang kan'yang sarili dahil sa frustration na kan'yang nararamdaman. Pinagmasdan ko siya sa malayo na tila bumibigay na sa liit ang kaniyang mata. Marahil sinabi na sa kaniya ng obstetrician ang totoo. He was fooled. There’s no embryo or fetus.

Nang dumating si Andrea sa hospital, Doc. Lucca made his basic examination at kinumpirma na wala talagang bata sa sinapupunan nito. HIndi lang pinangunahan ang obstetrician as the hospital policy.

Hindi ko alam kung galit ba siya dahil nagsinungaling si Andrea o dahil sa pagiging brain dead nito. Either way, alam kong naghihinagpis siya ngayon. 

Gusto ko siyang damayan ngunit magkakaproblema lamang kung dadagdag pa ako. Kapag papasok ako sa eksena, mangyayari na naman ang nangyari noon at hindi ko na yata kayang mapagdaanan ang nangyari sa akin noon.

I know he needs someone right now. Ipinagdarasal ko na sana ay may dumating siyang kaibigan o kapatid man lang para maalalayan siya. Isang ginang ang nagmamadaling nagtungo sa information desk ngunit nang namataan niya si Keos ay dali-dali nitong pinuntahan. Tantiya ko iyon ay si Madam Emilia, ang kan'yang ina, ang yumakap sa kan'ya.

I wiped my tears when I saw Elya coming through my direction, open arms. I crouched and lifted her, and start walking towards her Tita Mommy who’s tired running.

“Mamamatay yata ako sa anak mo,” komento ni Ria habang hawak ang dibdib. “You should get her a nanny.”

"Nagpasaway ka na naman ba, 'nak?" tanong ko sa kan'ya.

"No, Mumma. Elya is playing, she responded as she tucked the strand of my hair in my ear. So sweet.

"Pero napagod si Tita Mommy sa 'yo. Ikaw talaga!"

NAGTUNGO kami sa burger shop sa labas ng hospital at nag-order ng makakain. Maliit lamang ang shop na ‘to compared sa hospital pero masarap ang pagkain nila. Ang ganda rin ng ambiance ng lugar. Dito kami madalas ng ka-workmate ko kapag gutom at exhausted.

“Si Sir Keos nandito?” Napalakas ang boses ni Ria kaya sinunggaban ko siya ng burger sa bibig. I motioned her that Elya is listening so she should watch her mouth. I leaned to my chair and nod to her as a sign.

Napako ang tingin ko kay Elya na may dugo ang inner clothe nito. Agad kong chineck kung may gasgas ba siya or sugat dahil delikado para sa kaniya ang magkaroon no’n kahit konti. I haven’t even pay the debt I have before noong na-diagnosed siya ng hemophilia.

“Kaninong dugo ‘to, 'nak?” Maski si Ria ay ngayon lamang ito napansin. Pareho kaming nag-aantay ng sagot mula kay Elya.

“Mumma, this isn't mine. I like chicken nuggets so I find in the store but the guy boooogsh!” sabi ni Elya at may acting pa habang nag-e-explain.

"Anong boogsh?" Kinakabahan na ako sa ginagawa ng anak ko. 

"A woman went to accident and then the guy hugged her then I gave him my band aid. I'm not hurt, Mumma."

Nawala ang kaba sa kaniyang dibdib nang sabihin nito ang buong pangyayari na binigyan niya raw ng band-aid kaya siya nagkaroon ng konting dugo. Hindi naman nagsisinungaling ang anak ko kaya hindi na ako nagtanong pang muli.

At a young age, Elya have read medical books I have when she’s bored. At lagi ko siyang pinapaalalahan na tumulong sa mga nangangailangan. Subalit hindi ko inaasahan na maging gano'n pala ang dating sa kan'ya.

Imbes na pagalitan, mas pinili kong pangaralan siya.

“But still, you shouldn’t have do that. You’re not an adult, Elya.” I lectured at her. “Don’t do this again, huh?  Or Mumma will be sad. Okay?”

She always apply what she’ve learned because according to her once, “Knowledge without application is meaningless.” Akala ko hindi siya seryoso sa kan'yang mga binabasa. Nagkakamali ako.

Elya pouted at me, her eyes pleading. Ayan na naman tayo sa gan'yang ekspresyon. I know what kind of look is this.

She’s asking again… the question I couldn’t answer… for now. She put her leftover on the table and stopped eating.

Elya fished her book she always brought with her. She was just like him. His father. She resembles too much of him that a person could tell in just one look where her features came from, especially her strong amber colored eyes. Kaya natatakot ako na baka isang araw, makasalubong sila at wala na naman akong magagawa.

The child starts asking about her father a year ago. At first it stilled me but as the time gone by, nasanay na ako, at siya rin ay nasanay na wala akong masagot. How could I answer my child about her father not wanting her?

Third POV

The obstetrician patted Keos shoulder, telling that it’s okay. She told Keos about Andrea having no baby. Andrea wouldn’t resort to that choices, he knew. He asked again the doctor but she answers the same.

Parang pinagbagsakan ng langit at lupa si Keos sa narinig. Betraying him once is enough. Twice is too much. Hindi niya akalain na aabot si Andrea sa puntong gagamitin ang isang bata upang makalamang. All this time, taking responsibility to her was just a lie. She made him wrapped around her fingers because she knew Keos wouldn’t let her go, unlike what he did to Aali years ago.

All his life, he’s been paying his sins towards Andrea. That if he could take good care of her, Aali will find and forgive him at once. Keos managed to be a good husband and leave all his habits behind.

He saw his mom running towards him, but he motioned to stop, and she did. Keos walked like a zombie in the hallway of the hospital, exhausted of what happened today. His heart does want to understand them but his heart refuses. It will always be like this; he’s adjusting for them. “When do I have the chance to choose myself?” he asked to himself.

Fred, his friend, brought his new Ford car when Keos asked him to pick him up, and drove away. They stopped at the highly expensive bar at the city and booked a VIP room. The manager of the club brought fresh ladies and offered to them two.

How can he trust ladies if they were easily bought? First is Aali who accepted his mom’s money over him. When he saw her flirting with the guy who drove him home that day. Second, Andrea who chooses older fart over him. And the outstanding one, his mom, who never failed to amuse him by lobbying rich politicians to invest in his company. “Life’s gross and cruel, why can’t I be?” he thought to himself.

Blonde hair is already kissing his neck and leaves traces everywhere. The other one inserted her handand reached his nipple to play with it. But both of them didn’t make him aroused and it pisses him off. He pushed them two and starts walking out the room. He lighted the cigarette left in his pocket and blows everything into the air. Cigarettes and sex calms him, but tonight it only made him crave something more… something he couldn’t dare to go near.

Palabas na siya nang may nakabangga siyang lalake. Nagsimulang magbitaw ng mga salita ang lalaking lasing, parang ‘di na alam ang ginagawa.

“You should’ve watch your step, man,” he told Keos, swaying his feet.

“Then don’t let your eyes be bigger than your stomach,” Keos retorted.

The man became furious of what he said and started throwing punches. Buti na lamang at nakailag siya kung hindi pasa ang aabutin. Ayaw niyang makipagsuntukan sa lasing, there’s no challenge in that. He motioned the bouncer to stop this man before he sent him somewhere nice.

At biglang isang suntok ang dumapo sa bibig niya nang hindi namamalayan. Everyone gasps. He wipes the small blood on the side of his lips and starts throwing punches but the man knows how to fight. But not enough to fight him against. He throw a back kick which makes man flew at the corner.

“Who are you and who do you work for?” he asked.

In the business world, marami makakalaban. Hindi mo alam ang iba hinihintay ka na nilang pumalpak o makagawa ng maling desisyon. Every choice is crucial.

“Bakit mo hinayaan na masagasaan si Andrea, hayop ka?” Susugod na sana ang lalake kaya lang napigilan siya ng isa sa mga bouncer at ‘di na ito nakatakas pa.

Keos slapped the man’s cheek lightly and said, “Your Andrea is still breathing. I don’t care about that bitch.”

Fred was there and Keos knows he will clean up this mess. He walked out of the club and starts running to blow off some steam. Twenty minutes have passed but it didn’t help either. Malayo na ang narating niya mula sa night club at nakaramdam na ng pagod.

He fished his phone and start pressing numbers on it.

“Lucca, bud. Do you know where Aaliya lives?”