youre so ugly jokes

WE'RE BACK! Yes, your favorite cousins are back at it again, but this time it ain't about me. So, buckle up and grab your wine glasses, because it's gonna be crazy! Mina’s POV: Wait a damn minute. Am I in hell? Because if I am, I need to speak to HR. I didn't even get a chance to plead my case, give a reference or something. I'm about to start freaking out because, I'm not a “go to hell” and mean it type of person. I can't do heat for five minutes let alone an eternity. I feel like giving my life to save a baby and a man should have gotten me at least joint visitation six months in heaven and six months in hell. “Mina, are you awake?” I heard the voice quietly say next to my ear. I tried opening my eyes, but it felt like I had sand in them. I decided to try speaking, but only let out something that sounded like a sick animal. "Wait right there let me get you some water.” I heard a voice whisper again. Who the hell is that? I have heard that voice before but couldn't figure out who the hell it was. “! We need to move; they've found us.” The voice came again. Wait, what? Who the hell are they? I tried opening my eyes again, this time I managed to get them open enough to see the figure picking me up bridal style. Then the stranger turned his head to look directly in my eyes and I knew instantly who it was. “Blaze? You gotta be shitting me.” I said, obviously shocked. “Hey, can we join the party? I hope you are serving food because we are famished.” I heard a man say.

Jessica came to her senses under the bed of her fiancé and good friend’s, regaining her IQ, and couldn’t go back ever since. The douchebag: “Jessica, prepare a birthday gift to celebrate my dad’s birthday.” “Sorry, now I am the chairman, it is him who should pay tribute!” Jessica’s scum girlfriend: “Jessica, can you let me host the marriage show?” “You said that you haven’t experienced the pure love, so don't even think about it!” Jessica tore off the fake masks of the scumbags’ and turned to a pair of ink eye pupils: “It does feel cool to slap others, but don’t forget what your identity is!” “What identity?" Christian Maddox held her waist lightly, his face without missing a beat: “You should ask the little prince in your belly...”

Married for four years, Emily remained childless. A hospital diagnosis plunged her life into hell. Unable to conceive? But her husband was rarely home during these four years, so how could she get pregnant? Emily and her billionaire husband were in a contractual marriage; she had hoped to win his love through effort. However, when her husband appeared with a pregnant woman, she despaired. After being kicked out, homeless Emily was taken in by a mysterious billionaire. Who was he? How did he know Emily? More importantly, Emily was pregnant.

Angel Moretti. He was the love of my life. I always knew he was ever since we were kids. We did everything together. His name is Ryder ‘Savage’ Jackson. He was my world, my everything. Until he brutally ripped my heart from my chest three years ago. He tore my heart to shreds when he humiliated me by claiming another woman in his clubhouse, in the same bed we once shared. Savage by name, Savage by nature. He didn’t even give me a chance to tell him the news I had just accused me of cheating. Me, Angel Moretti. Like I would ever do that to him. So I ran, I ran from the pain he caused me. Ran from my family. Not wanting to be seen as the disgrace, but mainly to save him and his MC from annihilation. So I fled with the life we created growing inside of me. But all good things must come to an end. When he walks into my bar three years later. So what do I? Do I run? Or face the man who destroyed me? What could go wrong? Well, everything apparently. Ryder ‘Savage’ Jackson. She was my Angel, my goddess sent to me from heaven and I fucked it up. I claimed someone I shouldn’t have and paid dearly for it. I was a damn fool to believe the lies and bullshit. Missing out on the most precious gift Angel could give me. But I will make it right. Angel Moretti thinks she can get away from me with my kid. She has another thing coming, especially when I claim them both as mine. She will have no choice but to move back home with me. She may be a Mafia Princess, but she is mine!

When the Alpha King sends Taelin on a mission to assist a small pack against a threat, she is sure that it is a suicide mission. Being the only female warrior to the Alpha King isn't easy, especially when she has to work twice as hard just to prove she belongs. The last thing she expected was to find that Alpha Ryker was her fated mate.Alpha Ryker was cursed to never find his mate. So when Taelin shows up at his borders, claiming to be sent to aid him, he doesn’t know what pisses him off more. The fact a female was sent, or that he couldn't resist her. Not only does he need to find a way to protect his pack, but now the beautiful warrior that finds a way into his heart.With the threat of extinction, will Taelin find a way to break Alpha Ryker's curse? Or will time run out for them when the threat to their kind hits closer to home?

The Empire rules on the wings of dragons. Riders are hand-selected for training from childhood, and Anzi is one of the rare few who wait to hatch theirs this year. Until she discovers the terrible truth that the dragon riders are not partners with their dragons: they're slavers. The dragons are bred in captivity and enslaved from within the egg, and they are nothing but mindless shadows of what their once-noble species used to be. After two hundred years, the surviving dragons in the wild are coming back to rescue their brethren. How they survived the Purge, no one knows, but they are angry and they are coming, in fire and in storm. And as she struggles to come to terms with the realization that the nation she loves so much that she would give her life for it may be nothing more than propaganda and illusion, she discovers something else: The dragons who survived the Purge are shifters, able to hide in human form. And Anzi has met one of them already. Her mate.

****NEW CHAPTERS EVERY WEEK**** A human has been found near the borders of Blue Orchid Pack, the largest one in the state of Rysterbia. The Blue Orchid pack is mysterious and ruthless. Their Alpha, Azraiel Michaelson is said to be an angry man with mystical powers at his disposal, but when a human enters his life without warning, all his powers seem useless to him. He is a Trueblood...the rarest of werewolves in the world...and yet so powerless in front of circumstances. What will happen when the path of the strongest Alpha collides with a human? ******* Charlotte is scared when she finds herself in a hospital, but the handsome man in front of her confuses her even more. Where is she? What happened to her? And....the biggest question....Who is HE? With a past that she neither understands nor likes and threats looming over her head, she has no idea what the future holds for her. Will she be alive tomorrow? Umm....Can't say. Will she stay here? Don't know. Will everything remain the same if she stays? Well...NO FREAKING IDEA. *******

Completely frozen and horrified, her watery eyes were staring at that bleeding dead body in front of her. She couldn't just believe he had just killed someone in front of her so brutally, just because she dared to talk to that person and not any person, but his own wife's brother. "Now, you will forever remember…never to get closer to any other man," she heard him whispering those words in her ear. His blood stained hands gripped her waist more firmly which made her finally look at him. "He was your wife's brother. H..he was your family," she stuttered, disgusted by this brutal monster on whose embrace she was captured now. A feral smirk ghosted on his face. "You needed to think about this before getting closer to him," he brought his face closer to her. Her glossy eyes filled with more disgust, hatred and anger for this barbaric animal before her. "You shouldn't have forgotten that…." Sensually grazing his lips against hers, he peered into her watery eyes. "You are my possession," his words made her fists her palms, especially when she felt his hand opening the zip of her gown. He would again taint her by claiming her body as his. "I am your sole possessor, cara mia," he grinned, sadistically before completely undoing her gown's zipper. She just helplessly stood in his embrace. "Now be a good girl and let me have you again…." hotly murmuring that, he captured her mouth in his and freed her from her clothes and she was not capable of doing anything to stop that sinner from committing that sin with her again because she was…..HIS SINFUL POSSESSION……. Why was she committing that sin of letting a married man have his sinful possession over her? Read to find out…

'She was young, so I let her grow. She was wild, so I let her live her life. She wanted to build a career, so I stayed away. But the time has come now. Time for her to be tamed, to learn the rules, to be where she belongs. Beside me. Now the time has come for her to be mine. Because I, Duncan De Sylvano, am ready to hunt for my queen.' *** Cassandra Brooks has spent most of her life by paying her alcoholic mother's debts, with only one dream that one day she would be away from her disarranged family and become an independent woman. And after years, she was the woman she always wanted to be. Strong, fiery, wild, and a thriving model. The beauty who never fails to get attention. Broken by her past beyond repair, love was never in her to do list. Until one night, she came face to face with a mysterious Italian. The dark aura of danger around the rugged man got her curious. And when an opportunity to enter the untouchable billionaire's life came, she didn't think twice to grab it. Her plan was simple: get the hunk and then move on. But little did she know that it was Duncan De Sylvano's empire, and no one entered his territory without his permission. So didn't she. Now that his prey was right where he wanted her, he was ready to hunt. And he wouldn't stop until she was tamed and… his. After all, he has waited for years… *** Book two of 'Obsessive Billionaires' series The books of the series can be read as standalone.

(SSPG WARNING! Read at your own risk!)“Damn, we shouldn’t be doing this, Lauren,” gigil na bulong ni Zai habang nakaupo ako sa kanyang kandungan. Patuloy pa rin ang paghalík niya sa akin. Nalalasahan ko naman ang alak sa kanyang dila. “Uhmm~” Umawang ang labi ko nang sapuin niya ang malusog kong sùso habang patuloy sa pagsípsip sa aking labi. “Ugh fùck, stop grinding on my top,” awat niya kasabay ng paghapit niya sa aking baywang. Sumubsob ang sùso ko sa kanyang matigas na dibdib. Ngunit hindi ako nagpatalo at mas idiniin ang sarili ko sa kanyang alaga na kumakawala na sa suot niyang slacks. Saglit akong humiwalay at napatitig sa gwapo niyang mukha. “What?” namamaos niyang bulong. Basa ang labi, at kumalat na ang lipstick ko sa gilid ng kanyang namumulang labi. “We both hate each other, but why in the fùck are we kissíng?” lasing niyang bulong at naging hudyat ‘yon upang mas halíkan niya ang labi ko. Hindi ko rin alam ang sagot, o baka lasing lang ako dahil uhaw na uhaw ako sa kanyang haplos, at halik. “Your boyfriend is gonna kill me,” gigil niyang bulong at hínimas ang hita ko dahilan para umangat ang micro skirt na suot ko. “You’re gonna regret this, Lauren. Your boyfriend is like my brother, but I couldn't care less. Now that you’re on my top, fuck.” Pinag-init ako ng kanyang sinabi dahilan para hímasin ko ang kanyang alaga na tigas na tigas at umaabot na sa kanyang puson. “Fùck!” malutong niyang mura na ikinangisi ko.