you re so old jokes one liners

Looking for the most handsome being on Earth?,Go for him . Looking for the most sexy guy on Earth?"Go for him . The guy that ladies drilled for, It's him.. Handsome but dangerous..he is the one. Seth Johnson,the handsome demon.. that's his nickname. The only truant that will caused trouble anywhere you see him.. Cross his lane, you are dead.. But even with all this these,he is the most brilliant student in his college..he never pay attention during lessons hours..is either he is in the bathroom having sex with his girlfriend or in the canteen.. But he is the best at everything concerning academic even no academic. His parents are divorced.. giving him free asses to do anything he wished to. Seth comes to school twice a week, those two days are always hot as a result of his prank and how girls are fighting over his dick.. Trouble everyday.. He just takes pleasure seeing students fighting over him. And then comes the heroin,her name is Pinky.. Beautiful, sexy and cute.. She behaves exactly like Seth... She don't care what people think about her .all she is interested in is to leave her life to the fullest.. When she came to wisdom academy and see how girls were dieing for Seth.. She decided not to act like them.. What happened when seth took an interest in getting Pinky in his bed.. What happened when two of Seth's friends fell in love with Pinky.. Who will she chose!!! Seth...the handsome demon!!! "Henry...!!! Kings!!!!

Isang mapagmahal at masunuring anak si Maria Joana Mei or MJ, sa kabila ng karangyaan ng pamilya na kinamulatan niya. Pinalaki siyang magalang at may respeto sa kapwa ngunit nagbago ang lahat ng aksidente niyang naka one night stand ang isang dominanteng lalaki sa bar. Ang pagkikita nila ay nasundan pa ng itinakda itong ipakasal ng kanyang pamilya sa kanya. Paano nila haharapin ang isa't-isa bilang mag-asawa kung araw-araw wala itong ginawa kundi pahirapan at saktan siya? Paano niya hihiwalayan ito, kung labis namang tumututol ang kanyang puso? Handa ba siyang magtiis sa mga kamay nito kahit na walang kasiguraduhang mamahalin din siya nito? Kailan magiging tama ang maling gabi na kanilang ginawa?

Dareen, pria tampan yang masih berumur 23 tahun, namun sudah diberikan jabatan sebagai Direktur utama di perusahaan keluarga. Tentunya tidak semudah itu ia mendapatkan jabatan tersebut, Dareen harus berusaha mendapatkan hati ayahnya agar bisa percaya padanya. Dia harus berkerja keras, dari nol untuk mencapai cita-cita nya. Dengan semangat yang diberikan kekasihnya membuat pria itu akhirnya berhasil mencapai cita-cita yang selama ini ia inginkan, menjadi Direktur Utama. Nafeesa, gadis cantik yang masih berumur 22 tahun. Ia selalu ada disaat Dareen dalam keterpurukan, ia selalu memberikan semangat pada kekasihnya. Mereka sudah lama menjalin hubungan, mereka sudah merencanakan agar melanjutkan hubungan ke jenjang pernikahan. Namun selama menjalin hubungan mereka tak mendapatkan restu dari kedua orang tua, Dareen. Dengan begitu mereka harus menunda dan mencoba segala cara agar mendapat restu dari orang tua Dareen. Pria itu mengajak Nafeesa untuk menginap di apartement-nya. Dareen meminta sesuatu yang tak seharusnya di minta, sebelum ada ikatan pernikahan. Nafeesa bimbang, namun saat mendengar ucapan kekasihnya ia pun menyetujuinya. Mereka pun melakukan hubungan yang tak seharusnya mereka lakukan. Akankah kedua orang tua Dareen memberi restu setelah mereka melakukan hubungan terlarang? Atau malah mereka semakin menentang hubungan Dareen dan Nafeesa?

Isang pusong nakakulong sa obligasyon at isang pusong puno ng ambisyon ang pagtatagpuin ng isang misyon. Walang ibang bagay ang mahalaga ngayon kay Kiro Verona bukod sa matagal na niyang pangarap sa buhay, iyon ay ang sumikat ang bandang binuo niya at ang mga kantang gagawin nila. One day, a great opportunity came to him when his cousin, Nathalia Fernandez, offer him a good deal and that is to help him to get into the talent agency where she belongs to. But unexpectedly, her help is not for free. She wants Kiro to do something first for her. Pinanghihinalaan kasi nito na bading ang kaniyang boyfriend na si Nikkolai Froy Servantes—the problematic and introvert mayor of La Castellion. Kaya ang gusto ni Nathalia ay akitin niya ito kung paano niya akitin ang kaniyang mga babae hanggang sa lumabas ang tunay nitong kulay. But what if the waves of love will change the beat of their hearts? Can they still get up when they are already fallen madly, deeply inlove?

in love there are two things, bodies and words. only, you have the right to choose your way a a. A complete Filipino (Tagalog version of the main Story Trash one.)

How does one woman please two men? Lizzie has to answer when Jordan suddenly springs Jackson on her. His life long best friend.Jackson is a dark, brooding man. When they meet, the sparks fly and burn so hot and unexpectedly that Lizzie is shocked. Jordan was a lot for Lizzie to learn how to handle. But, when she discovers she is supposed to try and take both of them on. She was terrified and overwhelmed,Lizzie flees to a quiet cabin in the woods, where she thinks she is safe enough to come to terms with her new situation. But Jack and Jordan follow her there, unwilling to let her run away. They force her to confront her problems and the terrible secrets she was harboring. Unfortunately, their problems decided to follow them as well. Can the three of them ever get past the troubles they must face? Especially when it's Lizzie's own life on the line?*ADULTS ONLY* *EXPLICIT SCENES* *BDSM* You Are Ours is created by Leann Lane, an eGlobal Creative Publishing Signed Author

Most women fall for businessmen, engineers, doctors, and lawyers, but in my case? I fell in love with my bodyguard. *** Caroline and Miguel found themselves caught up in the heat, thinking it would be just a one-night stand. Caroline preferred giving herself to a stranger rather than being forced into a marriage with Alexander. However, Caroline's heart was unexpectedly drawn to Miguel after their passionate encounter. Little did Caroline know that Miguel was just a mere bodyguard for her family. As rumors swirled and the weight of societal judgment hung in the air, Caroline and Miguel found themselves grappling with the challenges of concealing their love. The stark division of social classes posed a constant threat, pushing them to confront the harsh realities of a world that disapproved of relationships that defied established norms. Will she choose to continue her love for Miguel, despite knowing that it is forbidden? Or will she prioritize her family's wishes and marry a wealthy man?

Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you comfortable while you're being miserable.' Heiress Danielle Dawson has it all. A mansion, a fleet of exotic cars, a live-in chef, housekeepers, a fortune that can feed nations, and a dad who indulges her every wish. All these, and she is still empty. But Her father, wanting more power and wealth, out of the blues, arranges her marriage to the powerful Valentino empire's heir, Adrian, who happens to be the same guy she once had a one-night stand with. Danielle, a believer in love marriages, fights it at first but later gives in and decides to let destiny take its course. Adrian Valentino, Danielle's betrothed, comes from a different world; one which was nothing compared to the bed of roses that she is used to, but Adrian need not fret as his betrothed is more than ready to fight his battles and slay his demons; but how can you love someone who doesn't believe in the emotion, and how do you save someone that doesn't want to be saved?

A tale of two souls, intertwined by fate: One soul, cloaked with isolation and grief, was a solitary figure who struggles to connect with others. The other soul has a heart hardened against the possibility of love. Florence “Flo” Emry, now twenty-one, has retreated into a life of solitude following a traumatic car accident that occurred when she was sixteen. It changed her life forever. The accident left her completely deaf in one ear and partially deaf in the other as she needs hearing aid for it. She was devastated when she found out that she became disabled, but she was more broken when she also found out that she had tragically lost her parents and older brother in only one night. Feeling abandoned and worthless, Florence, who was filled with debt from her student loan, has become deeply disappointed and resentful towards herself, seeing herself as a useless human being. One fateful day, a chance encounter with a mysterious man named Zacchaeus “Chaos” Spencer Battenkurt the filthy rich billionaire playboy, 26 years old, turned her life upside down. This charismatic, very polite and respectful man, seemingly ordinary, was actually hiding a deep dark secret. These two souls, so different yet intertwined by fate, must navigate their own internal struggles while also confronting the challenges of their external world. But the question remains: Will they be able to break down their barriers and find solace in each other’s company or will their differences prove to be insurmountable obstacles?

Lisa Mathew worked as a receptionist in a 3-star hotel. She cherished this job very much as a widow with a six-year-old-son.One day, she met a dashing hot guest name Augustus Carlos. She didn't recognize that he was the new boss of their hotel.All her colleagues believed she had annoyed their new big boss and would be fired. But Augustus weirdly forgave her and promoted her as the vice manager?!!More astonishing, the man said he had a secret crush on her for over six months and proposed. But she had never met him before.She should refuse, but her mouth had already spoken "Yes"....