you're so old jokes

The forest within the quiet village of Gashea is a dangerous place. Within the trees lies something dark, cursed, and wicked. For centuries, a demon with malevolent power terrorizes the villagers of the small valley home. He had brought droughts, disease, and famine. To ensure that he will keep his powers at bay, the village of Gashea offers a bride to the demon every night. And by dawn, without fail, they would see the corpse of the offered brides floating along their bright, shining river. With the next choosing fast approaching, the head villagers made a shocking decision. They had chosen Fyn. A man. When Fyn starts to slowly fall in love with the demon within the forest, secrets of the past unravel. The truth makes them wonder whether it’s the right monster Gashea fears.

Opportunist-ganito ang tingin ng half brother ng fiancé niya kay Raquel. At para maiwasan ang lalaking gustong sirain ang nalalapit niyang kasal, pumunta siya sa San Ruiz. Doon niya nakilala si Drake, ang lalaking inakusahan niya ng akyat-bahay. Hindi maitatanggi ni Raquel ang atraksyong nararamdaman para kay Drake. Hindi niya napigilan ang sarili na mahalin ang lalaki kahit na ito ay isang pagkakamali. Nang lumipad palabas ng bansa si Drake ay nangako ito sa kanya na babalik. Pero hindi nito tinupad ang pangako sa kanya. Bumalik siya ng Maynila at handang magtapat sa fiancé niya tungkol sa kasalanang nagawa nang muling magkrus ang landas nila ni Drake. Nalaman niyang may kinalaman ito sa taong gustong sirain ang pangarap niya.

Don’t trust anyone, not even yourself….You think you know someone pretty well, until you’re awoken in the middle of the night to the sound of unfamiliar voices and realize your sister’s being swept away by some supernatural creatures who climb in and out of windows and leap from two-story houses like it’s nothing.My parents tried to tell me everything was fine, but when Cadence finally did come back from wherever they’d taken her, I knew there was something unusual about my older sister.Now, her best friend is dead.Her ex-boyfriend is acting bizarre.And I’m afraid I might be next.My name is Cassidy Findley, and I’m pretty sure my sister is a vampire, despite her “co-worker” making every effort to brainwash me into believing otherwise. With the help of my two best friends, we vow to get to the bottom of this before it’s too late, and my sister starts to claim other victims. I love her, but I won’t be turned, nor will I just sit by without doing everything I can to stop her. I can only hope that I’m not too late and that I can trust my own memories.Because I’m pretty sure my sister’s friends are coming for me next.The Chronicles of Cassidy is a retelling of The Clandestine Saga specifically for young adult/teen readers told from the perspective of high schooler Cassidy Findley.

Sa pagbabalik ni Keith sa Pilipinas, isang surpresa ang inihanda ng kaniyang lola kasabay ng kaniyang ika-dalawampu't walong kaarawan, ngunit ang masayang selebrasyon na ito ay susundan ng mga trahedya na maglalagay sa buhay ng binata sa matinding panganib. Upang matiyak na may magmamana ng lahat ng yaman na mayroon ang kanilang pamilya, isang pasya ang naisip ni Keith—ang maghanap ng babae na walang kaugnayan sa kanilang pamilya upang maging ina ng kaniyang anak sa siyentipikong pamamaraan. Si Merrill—minsang nagligtas sa kaniyang buhay ang naisip niyang alukin. Tinanggap ng dalaga ang magandang offer at kalaunan ay nagdalang-tao. Habang nagkakagulo sa kompanya ng pamilya ng Lee, si Merrill ang naging pahinga ni Keith. Naging malapit sila sa isa't-isa, ngunit si Merrill ay may iba palang plano sa batang nasa kaniyang sinapupunan. Batid niyang sa pamamagitan nito, magagawa na niyang ipaghiganti ang kaniyang yumaong lolo. Sino ba talaga si Merrill? Mali ba si Keith ng pinagkatiwalaan? Sino ang mga nais manakit sa binata at bakit nais ipaghiganti ni Merill ang kaniyang lolo sa mga Lee?

Simula ng magkaisip si Hilda Alegre bukod sa pagmamahal at maka-survive wala na siyang ibang hinihiling pa. Inasam niya ang pagmamahal na iyon at proteksyon mula sa sarili nito na ama kalaunan ay nabigo din siya after mag decide ito na ipakasal siya sa italiano na matanda. Naisip ni Hilda hindi nagba-bound sa dugo at laman ang pagmamahal. Pinili ng ama ni Hilda na ibenta siya— dugo niya at laman para mailigtas ang step sister niya na ni walang isang patak ng dugo galing sa ama niya. Umalis si Hilda at tumakas sa kapalarang inilatag sa kaniya ng sariling ama. Hinanap nito ang kalayaan sa italy. "Saan ba ako nagkamamali?" ani ni Hilda na ngayon ay hawak ang ulo habang nakatitig sa pregnancy test na hawak. She marely survive by little lucky of hers and now— may isa pa siyang buhay na kailangan protektahan. "Hindi nga ako sigurado sino ang tao na nakasama ko sa kwarto." May pagkakautang siya na need bayaran kay Arthur Cage Nicastro kaya tinanggap niya ang mission na bantayan ang anak nito na si Aron Nicastro. But during mission may nangyari na aksidente. Lasing siya 'non at ang huling nakasama niya ay si Aron Nicastro. "Importante ba sino ang ama?" bulong ni Hilda tapos sumandal sa sofa. Walang buhay ang mga mata na tiningnan mabuti ang pregnancy test. "If nag-fail ang mission, nakahanap ako ng opportunity at the end— if gusto ko mabuhay. Kailangan ko ulit tumakas at wala ako balak iwan ang bata na ito. Sino 'man sa dalawang Nicastro ang ama."

Being a billionaire, I've had a fair share of women in my life. But the first time I laid eyes on her, I couldn't help but have her in my arms. I knew what had to be done, I needed to make her MINE. But that wasn't an easy task, considering how resilient she can be. The more I got to know her, the more I realized what a different and strong woman she was. I wanted to give her everything but trust? that had to be earned and she had done nothing but hid from me since the beginning. She was ruining everything we had just to protect a single secret, she didn't trust me enough for it. "It's better this way" she said, but was it really?

When I went to the hospital for a checkup to see if my fourth IVF attempt had succeeded, I saw Daniel Cooper, who was supposed to be on a business trip. He was carefully supporting a young, beautiful woman as they walked out of the obstetrics and gynecology department. Her belly was unmistakably round, and she looked like she was ready to give birth at any moment. Daniel froze for just a second before stepping in front of her, shielding her from me. He explained, "Abby, the Cooper family needs an heir to carry on the lineage. Once the baby is born, everything will go back to the way it was." I heard the certainty in his words. So I smiled, nodded, and quietly tucked my test results away as he stared at me in surprise. On the day she gave birth, I left the divorce papers on the kitchen table and walked out of his life for good.

Alexis Jenn Buenavista is a 24 year-old spoiled bratenilla girl from a rich, powerful,and famous family in the country. Partying all nights and drinking with her friends as if there's no tomorrow is her expertise. Working is not in her vocabulary. That's how she is... Until one day, her parents told her to marry the 38-year old, famous billionaire, Zac Rogen Walker. As a spoiled stubborn brat girl, ay lumayas siya sa kanila. But unfortunately, she was caught by Zac's bodyguard. She can't accept an old husband! Zac needs an heir for their company. His parents urged him to marry as he is not getting any younger. He chose Alexis because she is young and active which surely gives him an heir. The two signed a contract that gave Alexis the freedom to do anything she wanted but she cannot have sex with her boyfriend or any other man except with Zac. And their awkward married life has begun... Who will give in first to temptation? Who will give up? And who will fall in love?

Please write a description for your story with 20 to 300 words.Please write a description for your story with 20 to 300 words.Please write a description for your story with 20 to 300 words.Please write a description for your story with 20 to 300 words.Please write a description for your story with 20 to 300 words.Please write a description for your story with 20 to 300 words.Please write a description for your story with 20 to 300 words.

The day Calista Everhart gets divorced, her divorce papers end up splashed online, becoming hot news in seconds. The reason for divorce was highlighted in red: "Husband impotent, leading to an inability to fulfill wife's essential needs." That very night, her husband, Lucian Northwood, apprehends her in the stairwell. He voice was low as he told her, "Let me prove that I'm not at all impotent …"