you're so old jokes

Warning Mature Content 19+ Sherina Alexander Lansonia. Seorang wanita karier pemilik gedung pencakar langit termegah di Britania Raya. Parasnya sangat cantik nan mempesona. Lekuk tubuhnya indah menarik mata untuk terus memandang ke arahnya. Ambisius adalah cara Alexa menghadapi dunia. Hidup di tengah-tengah persaingan bisnis yang bisa saja 'memakannya hidup-hidup' membuat Alexa tak segan untuk mengorbankan segalanya untuk tetap mempertahankan perusaahan yang ia bangun. Tak pernah melakukan kesalahan dalam ambisinya? Tidak! Alexa adalah manusia biasa. Satu kesalahan besar yang pernah diperbuat olehnya adalah membeli rumah mewah tepat di depan kediaman sang mantan kekasih. -Touch You-

It’s been five years since Maya left everything, leaving her family, and her friends, to go and built her future. And now, after five years, she’s forced to come back and face everything she left behind, and she’s not alone, she has a child to think about, no time for man or friends until she found Nate, her childhood love, the one who broke her heart years ago and now? Now she found herself facing her past and her feeling for the father of her child and her great love.

WARNING: MATURE CONTENT He is a prince, and she is a nobody. In his eyes, she is unfit to even say his name. But what happens when circumstances force them into an unexpected marriage? How much more can Amelia take from a man who would do anything to get her out of his life? Would it be too late when billionaire prince Bastian realizes that Amelia has been THE ONE all along? Find out what happens in this gripping tale of love, betrayal and redemption.

SEQUEL TO MY LITTLE SUNSHINE On the same day I got married, I learned a heartbreaking truth; I was merely a substitute; a stand-in bride for my husband's beloved. My dreams and feelings didn't matter to anyone but me. In the eyes of the public, I was his wife but at home, I had to live as a furniture and a prisoner. Refusing to live such a miserable life, I ran, faster than I had ever done in my entire life, but then, I found myself walking on thin ice. I was on the brink of a precipice when someone reached out his hand and gave me a lifeline. He was Reign Fletcher, and he became my everything.~~~~CORA She bumped into my life unexpectedly, and suddenly, what started out as an accident became the most important moment of my life. I never understood what it felt like to love someone else more than I do myself until I met Cora Gilbert.~~~~REIGN *THIS BOOK CAN BE READ AS A STANDALONE*

It wasn't just about what this lady was wearing. It was her. Something to do with the way she moved. Like she was one with the music and with the stage. The music pounded in a hypnotic rhythm that was unashamedly sexual, and she moved and danced in time to the beat, her movements graceful and seductive. So much confidence and balance. Balance that should have been nearly possible with the length of the heel shoes that she was putting on, but she made it look so natural... So easy, like she'd been born with high, slender spikes attached to her feet. There was something captivating... Almost hypnotizing about this woman, and Dimitri found him self leaning closer to watch. To take in every sight of this beautiful goddess. She was a vision of feminine perfection, every man's fantasy and Dimitri felt sharp claws of lust drag through his loins. On the opposite side, Dimitri saw a man half rise to his feet, a look of longing in his eyes. He didn't blame the man. What man wouldn't be captivated by such a beauty? -------------------- Nervous about assuming control of her father's company, Kelly Darcy relocates to San Francisco. In an attempt to do something she loved one more time before her life changed completely, she volunteers to replace a dancer in her friend, Elizabeth's fashion show and ends up in the arms of Dimitri Collins. It was supposed to be a one night stand. She didn't have to see him again. But Kelly realizes how wrong she was when Dimitri walks into her father's office... And now she has to fight to keep her father's company, while figuring out what she truly feels for Dimitri.

Following a heartbreak from my betrothed and the man I have loved all of my life, I leave my home and family behind, seeking solace in the Realm of the Humans. Having no qualifications to live in a world bound by stupid rules has me jumping at an absurdly good offer to be the personal assistant to a top class business man. And my first assignment is delivering his forgotten wedding rings to the event. I found my mate. My boss, standing at the altar, exchanging vows with a puny human woman I could break in half if I wanted to. I flee, fingers clutching the damned ring boxes. He leaves his fiancée at the altar, chasing after me, but it makes no difference to me. I have had my fair share of rejections and I can't take anymore of it. So, I reject him, before he can do the same to me. But rather than cower in pain, he cracks a grin that makes my stony heart stumble, and leans forward, several feet taller than me. "And you're fired."

Mark Ivan Barcelon and Eizel Francine Story (Hello, sa nakabasa na po ng Book 1 ng MY STALKER, eto na po ang kwento ni Eizel at Ivan, Bestfriend at kambal ni Kisha. Enjoy Reading!) Si Eizel ay may lihim na pag-ibig kay Ivan, ang kambal ng kanyang matalik na kaibigan. Ang magmahal niya dito ay hindi madali, pero para kay Eizel, walang mahirap pagdating sa pag-ibig. Mula pagkabata, may pagtingin na siya kay Ivan, at habang tumatagal, lalong lumalalim ang nararamdaman niya. Natatakot siyang umamin dahil baka layuan siya nito at hindi na pansinin. O mas takot siyang masaktan sa magiging sagot nito. Kaya't nakukuntento na lang siya sa pagtingin mula sa malayo at pag-silay. Matapang siyang babae, pero pagdating sa nararamdaman niya kay Ivan, wala siyang lakas ng loob na umamin. Pero dahil sa suporta ng kanyang kaibigan sa kabaliwan niya, nakapag-isip siya ng paraan kung paano unti-unting makuha ang atensyon nito. Tinext niya ito at nagpakilala sa ibang pangalan. Hindi siya sumuko kahit napaka-ilap nito sa text at chat. Hindi naman nasayang ang effort na ginawa niya. Napansin din siya nito. Pero paano kung nakuha na niya ang atensyon na matagal na niyang inaasam? At hiniling nito na magpakilala na siya at magpakita? Kaya ba niyang sundin ang hiling nito? Handa na ba siyang harapin ang lalaking mahal niya? Tatanggapin kaya siya nito kapag nalaman na siya si Eizel Francine Evangelista, ang bestfriend ng kambal niya, ang babaeng nasa likod ng lahat? ************************

[Having accidentally flirted with a legendary powerhouse, she desperately asked for help on the Internet.]After being betrayed by a scumbag and her elder sister, Catherine swore to become the shameless couple’s aunt! With that, she took an interest in her ex-boyfriend’s uncle.Little did she realize that he was wealthier and more handsome than her ex-boyfriend. From then on, she became a romantic wife to her ex-boyfriend’s uncle and always flirted with him.Although the man would give her the cold shoulder, she did not mind as long as she was able to retain her identity as her ex-boyfriend’s aunt.One day, Catherine suddenly realized that she was flirting with the wrong person!The man who she had been going all out to flirt with was not even the scumbag’s uncle!Catherine went mad. “I’m so done. I want to get a divorce!”Shaun was at a loss for words.What an irresponsible woman she was!If she wanted to get a divorce, then she could just dream on!

Siapa yang paling menderita di antara kita? Aku atau kamu? Atau justru orang lain di sekitar kita? Selama berabad-abad manusia tinggal di atas muka bumi. Mereka sering melupakan siapa yang paling menderita ketika mereka berpijak di atasnya. Konflik terjadi dimana-mana, tangisan tanpa asal terdengar. Jauh di tempat terpencil. Sebuah suara datang menghantuiku. Suaranya sering mengingatkanku tentang Gaia. Siapa itu Gaia aku tidak tahu. Tapi aku ingin mengetahuinya dan mencarinya. Suatu sebuah roh merasuki diriku. Roh itu bilang dia akan membantuku menemukan Gaia. “Pelindung Gaia.” Apa itu?

Just as she’s starting her new life in Las Vegas, she gets an urgent call to return home to Atlanta. Deila Barbson could be stubborn, witty…among other things but she wasn’t the rogue her family thought her to be so she answered with equal urgency oblivious to what awaited her— her past. She’s faced with the person that’s haunted her beautiful nightmares everyday for two years. Betrayed by her heart, she found herself running again from whom she still longed for as the very air she breaths. Breathing was as difficult as commitments. Would she stand unbroken or she melt under his touch? Time they said healed every wound so why did his heart still bleed at the sight of the woman that left him shattered sixteen months ago? Hard-headed as he was, James Martin felt open as if it were yesterday he got stood up on his planned proposal dinner. He wanted answers, from her, from himself; why didn’t he feel anger towards her for breaking his heart? Why was his heart still thudding with hope at the sight of her? Why did Deila still unman him as if he wasn’t the macho CEO that intimidated even the Mayor? And most importantly, why did she return? Behind the unwilling woman and broken man was the dark secret both their families shared. What would be keeping them apart? Their ego? Or the family secret? Warning: This book contains mature words and sexual encounters that aren't suitable for readers under the age of 18.