yo mama so old jokes

“Any conversation we're going to be having is going to be in the four corners of my wall and after that, I'd love and appreciate it if you forgot my name, home address and social security number— if you have that, of course.” “Cute,” he laughs and then winces when I open the drink can with a pop. I raise a brow at him, urging him to continue and then take a sip of my drink as I wait patiently. “ Contrary to what you may think, I'm not here to hurt you or whatever it is you're thinking —” “No shit.” “I'm here to offer you a deal. One I know you wouldn't be able to refuse.” “Sure, Professor Xavier.” This is getting fun and it's the most fun I've had in a few days. “Marry me.” ********** I had a one night stand with a handsome, enigmatic stranger. It was drunk decision; one I promised myself never to indulge in. Putting aside my regret, I continue with life and the trials it keeps throwing my way. As a girl used to surprises, what I don't expect is seeing this stranger from months ago at my doorstep and offering me a deal I can't seem to refuse: a marriage contract in exchange for my biggest wishes to be fulfilled.

Ano kayang reaksyon ng ninuno natin kung mapunta sila sa 2020?Taong 1895.Isa ako sa mga batang namulat sa digmaan ng mga Pilipino at Amerikano. Nang lumaki ako, ipinagkasundo ako sa lalaking kalauna'y inibig ko rin, si Isagani. Ngunit sa hindi inaasahan, nagkasala s'ya sa batas at ipinapatay. Dalawang taon din ang lumipas, akala ko ay tuluyan na akong ikakasal sa lahing Amerikano...Ngunit nagkamali ako, dahil isang araw namulat ako sa ibang panahon at nalaman kong ikinasal na ako. Ikinasal sa lalaking nagmula sa taong 2020.

Di dunia ini, hanya ada dua orang yang memanggil Maya dengan Lia. Pertama, jelas orang tuanya. Kedua, entahlah, Maya tidak ingin berurusan dengan orang ini lagi. Sampai kapan pun! Maya kaget ketika seorang anak perempuan memanggilnya mama. Bagai berkaca pada dirinya sendiri di masa kecil. Astaga! Bahkan wajah mereka berdua mirip! Tapi Maya lebih tahu dirinya belum menikah. Status itu sangat jelas tertampang di KTP dan tidak bisa dimanipulasi. Bisma bertanya-tanya, bisa jadi 'kan Maya kawin lebih dulu? Ini gila! Batinnya bergejolak. Maya marah, terjungkal, mengernyitkan dahi memikirkannya. Di tengah kebingungan itu, ayah si anak lebih membuatnya kaget. Apakah Maya telah melewatkan kejadian besar dalam hidupnya? *Arumanis2023

Krystal Hugace is perfectly fine with her life. As her colleagues starts to get married and have their own families, she enjoys her free life being the successful designer that she is. Life is good. That is until she meets Christian Giannini –the CEO of the prominent and best steel exporter company of Ground Zeta– marching up to her office demanding for her to create the best pair of suit and wedding dress for his and his pregnant fiance's wedding. Krystal is not ready for this kind of commitment.

Menjadi seorang single parent bukanlah sebuah hal mudah. Dan itulah yang dirasakan oleh Edwin Pramudya, seorang CEO berusia 37 tahun yang baru saja bercerai dari isterinya. Untunglah puteranya adalah anak yang cerdas dan tidak sulit diatur. Tapi siapa yang mengira kalau anaknya yang cerdas ini akan memilih sendiri wanita yang akan menjadi calon Ibunya? Dan wanita itu adalah Davina Anindira. Seorang gadis 27 tahun yang bekerja sebagai guru di sekolah Clay, putera Edwin. Davina yang ceria dan hangat bagaikan matahari tidak hanya berhasil membuat Clay menyayanginya. Tetapi juga mampu melelehkan es yang membeku di hati Edwin. Bagaimana kisah cinta mereka? Apakah Clay benar-benar bisa memepersatukan keduanya?

Riccardo Salvatore Armani is a man with a great body and brilliant mind who can be compared to a Greek god but with the heart of Lucifer. Yes, with both devilish and lovable hearts. Everyone conquered his devilish heart and none conquered his lovable heart, or yet… With no parents, no helpers, no bodyguards, no friends, no past, and no girls around, he is living a robotic life with the only character of yelling at people and killing ruthlessly everyone who comes in his way. Ishita Kapoor is a girl with a goddess physique, an Angel heart, and a brilliant and stupid brain at the same time. Having everyone around her, she is living a best yet worst life because of society's pressure on her. Everyone who sees her from the outside will see her best life but only when those who get to see under her always-covered body, will come to know her true life. Having everything and everyone doesn’t help her in her state.But, when a simple dare locked these two people in 2000sq. feet for 24 hours, he thought that this was just a day and it wouldn’t change his life and she thought she successfully completed her dare with the mystic man but they both didn’t know that there was more on their way which would change their life completely. MAFIA'S NOT SO INNOCENT GIRL is created by Priya Amour, an eGlobal Creative Publishing signed author.

When Liana met the handsome but cold-hearted billionaire, Henry Enriquez, nagbago ang lahat sa buhay niya. She slowly fall in love with him, kahit pa nga ang tingin nito sa kanya was nothing, but a gold digger bitch. Magkaganoon man, naniniwala pa rin siyang may kabutihan pa ring natitira sa puso nito... That he was still capable on loving someone... Pero nagkamali yata siya. Because he just shoved her away dahil lang sa isang maling akala na may ibang lalaki sa buhay niya bukod dito! Papaano na ang nararamdaman niya para dito? Sisikilin niya na lang ba iyon o pananatilihin na lang ang sariling aasa dito na balang araw ganap din itong magbabago?

An accident made Snow Cecy the most hated person of her husband. She was imprisoned and gave birth to a child in prison. After she was released from prison, it was her husband's crazy revenge and betrayal that met her and her children. Snow Cecy thought that one day she could wait for the truth to come out, but she only waited for a paper of incurable medical treatment. On the day of diagnosis, Vicdor Blake held his sweetheart and said to her, "you'd better die now. Don't hinder me from marrying Leyi!" At this moment, Snow Cecy finally understood what it means to die like ashes. In the fire, Snow Cecy held her child and had nothing to miss in this world. And when all the truth is revealed,Vicdor is almost tortured into a madman by remorse holding the ashes of the two people. Three years later, a person suffering from a terminal illness has become a famous doctor that is hard to find. However, the president has tortured himself to the death. Snow Cecy nestled in another man's arms and looked at Vicdor coldly. Even if you die now, it has nothing to do with me.

Party-goer si Karisma. Isang gabi nang may magtangkang masama sa kanya ay iniligtas siya ng isang lalaki na nandoon, si Tobias Ortega. Nang malaman ng kanyang ina ang nangyari ay inutusan siya nitong pilitin ang binata na pumayag para maging personal bodyguard niya, kung hindi ay hindi na siya papayagan pang dumalo sa mga parties. Ngunit ayaw ni Tobias, kaya’t nagpasya si Karisma na pilitin ito at ligawan. Mapapapayag niya kaya ito?

Sebagai pewaris utama Mayori group--produsen makanan berkualitas yang sudah tersebar di seluruh dunia--Tigran jelas menjadi sorotan banyak orang. Banyak wanita yang mengejarnya. Namun, ia justru jatuh hati pada Naomi yang merupakan seorang wanita single parent, Lantas, bagaimana kisah keduanya? Terlebih, mantan suami Naomi tiba-tiba hadir di antara keduanya ....