twilight quotes funny

Heiress Jovie Wimberly has a stealing problem. She steals from stores, people, and even her parents. When she's sent to group therapy to get to the root of her issue, she doesn't count on stealing Reno's heart. Reno Valenzuela has a gambling problem. He's lost all his money to casinos, horse races and ridiculous bets. What he doesn't bet on is falling head over heels for Jovie. When Reno's debt catches up with him and Jovie decides to leave her fiance, they head on a cross country trip to save Reno's life. With hitmen and Jovie's fiancé after them, they embark on a crime-filled, life changing journey that might actually change them for the better. Will the hitmen get to Reno? Will Jovie's fiancé bring her back home? Should they have just stayed in group therapy?

Until recently, Carolina Lane has lived a normal life, but when she moves to this town, things change. Having Kayler Brown, the sexiest and most respected boy in school, as a neighbor is not funny at all. While Caroline is trying hard to make this bossy yet meddling boy stay out of her business, she receives death warnings: Attention, Carolina. The forest will be your new enemy. Do not approach Kayler, or otherwise, your death will be even more painful than I had planned. Who sent this letter? What is Kayler hiding behind? What's the secret of this town? Caroline desperately wants to figure out the truth. However, Kayler won’t answer the questions. He just takes her hand and gazes at her. “You are mine.” He said.

Lucy and Axel had plans to travel after they graduated high school. Two orphaned werewolves with no pack to show them who they are. When Axel’s twin sister comes looking for him their plans blow up. After everything they’ve gone through in their lives. Who can they trust and when should they fight.

Vida was a waitress who put in eight hours a day in order to afford her $300 monthly rent and three square meals a day. She enjoyed each and every fantasy story as if it were true, and she longed to live in and explore the worlds depicted there. But she was shocked to find out it was true. Meeting a royal is the last thing she expected, but it happens. She does, indeed. Her visions morphed into steamy fantasies, and before she knew it, the handsome stranger was standing outside the bar where she worked. The question recurs, "Am I dreaming again?" They repeated in unison, looking into each other's eyes in disbelief. What happened afterwards is ancient history. And the ride was quite exciting.

Simple, Smart, Sexy and Serene? then I must have you. Oh, you don’t date playboys? tough luck. Funny how I’ve been commanded to stay away from you but where’s the fun in that? If you think you can walk away from me, think again. You think dating someone else will deter me? watch me strategically deal with him so he wouldn’t dare touch you again. In fact, I will publicly claim you so that no sane man will dare to ever want you. I see you love your family and village so much, now I love them too, I might as well take them over. It’s not possession, I’m just crazy about you. Dream big baby, be the scientist you want to be. I will even build a research lab for you right here, now you have no reason to ever leave my side. It really hurts that you thought you were never going marry me, I might have omitted to tell you that we’ve been married for almost three years now and I don’t do divorce. Oh, don’t rely much on that contraceptive injection you’ve been taking because when I want an heir, I get an heir. You can be stubborn and rebellious, I find it cute but don’t go too far because you see that house and that village you love so much, you will have to watch it burn to the ashes. I am S’bu, the CEO of JC and the heir to the Jobe empire. I want you to be completely mine, who are you to go against me?

Lydia and Cornelius have never seen eye to eye but what happens when a case of fake dating brings them together?

Ryo Matsuda is the Prince of the Entertainment business but he is fed up with love. He always finds himself in a relationship where he was either just seen as a tool to enter the show business or as a living ATM. Liz Ross is a young passionate pastry chef. Her love life is nowhere close to the sweetness of the cakes she makes. She'd been in a number of relationships where she finds herself cheated on. Their world unexpectedly collided in a beautiful stroke of luck. Will they hold on to their promise to keep love out of their lives or will they take another gamble and give love a chance?

Lia doesn't know why she's so unlucky when it comes to love, she's twenty-eight years old but still NBSB that even the people around her are worried... Which pushed her to enter a night bar. "Don't be nervous, Lia, you'll be happy with the main event of this bar!" Her friend excitedly said while looking at the stage. Before Lia could move and the women around started to cheer, a masked man came out wearing only a small cloth to hide his dick. "The bidding for him will start now!" the MC announced on the side. “29 thousand!” A woman screamed. "29 thousand, going twice, going trice, is there no one going to fight?" The MC asked. Lia didn't know what was going through her mind to raise her hand, "30 thousand!" She shouted before the bidding was closed. "30 thousand, the bidding is close! You'll have one hot night with him!"

VIOLA I'm a wedding planner and I'm in love with love and couples who are in love. They are my bread and butter after all but that's not why I love them. I haven't got there yet myself but arranging weddings keeps my dream of finding Mr. Right alive. But life doesn't always see things the way we dream of them turning out. It sure didn't see it my way when he crossed my path. RICK I don't believe in love. If it really exists why are there so many broken relationships and people in the world? Not that I care… about the broken relationships I mean. After all, they are my bread and butter. People lay the foundation for the demise of their marriage before they're married with prenups. Anyone who thinks it starts with a wedding is wrong. It starts with a lawyer. And if it ends… well, it ends with a lawyer too. Funny that. Often the people I work for before their wedding, come back to me when they divorce. So, love is great and it is for me but just not the way you might think if you get what I mean. When I met the wedding planner she was incensed at the thought that we might collaborate. Normally I would just walk away but the universe seems to have other plans…

Adam Devin Crighton was in love with Rhea Ivy Palmer ever since he could remember. But no matter how hard he tried, his love was only one-sided. What was he supposed to do to convince the love of his life that he would love her forever and ever? And more important how to convince her that he was her Mr. Right? Rhea Ivy Palmer did not know what to make of Adam Crighton; he was already her best friend, neighbor and mentor. She did not want to add lover to the list as well. It would mean depending too much on him than she already was. How to convince him that she was not his Mrs. Right? But when Adam started playing games with her, she felt herself falling in the trap. Would she would realize the tricks being played on her before it’s too late?