tagalog jokes

"I will not promise you a happy life once you agreed to this union." Isang Arranged Marriage ang kinasangkutan nila Lumiere Jane Ramirez at Drake Achyls Hernandez matapos ang kanilang Senior Highschool. Isa itong Promise of Union ng dalawang pamilya at sa kanila ito maisasakatuparan. Habang naghihimutok sa galit sa pagtutol si Drake ay kaiba naman kay Lumiere dahil ito ay matagal ng may gusto kay Drake. Akala niya isang fairytale, kapag naikasal ka sa taong matagal mo ng gusto pero mas lalong naging cold, indifferent at malupit sa kaniya ang lalaki to the point he handed her a divorce. Namatay ang lolo ni Lumiere at sinisi niya ang lahat kay Drake. Nais na niyang iwan ito at hindi na magpakita pero nagkita sila sa isang bar. Nakita ni Drake na nakikipagsayaw sa iba ang kaniyang asawa. Sa unang pagkakataon ay inuwi siya nito sa condo para komprontahin. Dahil sa kalasingan ay nauwi ang lahat sa isang mainit na gabi. Kinabukasan ay nakita ni Lumiere ang divorce agreement at pinirmahan niya ito dahil hindi naman niya kayang pilitin ang lalaking mahalin siya. At ang nangyari kagabi ay dahil lang sa kalasingan. It was just a s*x. Umalis si Lumiere at hindi na muli pang nakipagkita kay Drake. After 5 long years, nagkita silang muli ngunit siya ay nobya na ng kaniyang pinsan na si Orphen. Lalo siyang nagalit ng malaman niyang may anak na ang mga ito. Pinilit niyang bawiin si Lumiere at nagsimula ang bawat dagok sa kanilang buhay. Isa bang sumpa ang Promise of Union o kailangan lang nilang mapatunayan na para talaga sila sa isat-isa.

Isang normal na gabi lang sana ang lahat kay Paris Laurene, kung hindi lamang niya nasaksihan ang tumataginting na pagkabigo ni Theon, sa isang dalagang balak nitong ipakilala bilang girlfriend sa abuela nito. Last minute nang bigla nalang umayaw ang dalagang bitbit ni Theon kaya’t naiwan ito habang di malaman kung paano haharapin ang parating na Lola. Well look at that, even the hot, rich and devilishly handsome Theonnius Naverra got dump in front of her very eyes! May pag-asa pa ang Earth! Hindi maatim ni Paris na hayaan si Theon na humarap nang bigo sa abuela nitong dumating sa naturang tagpuan. kahit pa kating-kati na ang dila niyang budburan ito ng pang-aasar. Ngunit dahil isa siyang mabait, maganda at binibining may busilak na kalooban, nagpakilala siya bilang girlfriend ni Theon. “Relax, Theon. Magbi-break din naman tayo.” Nakaisip na si Paris ng plano upang malinis na matakasan nilang dalawa ni Theon ang ginawa nilang pagpapanggap na magkasintahan. Iyon ay ang gumawa ng paraan upang magbreak sila nang hindi nagdududa at nabibigla si Lola Celestina. “We just need to follow the right breakup formula.” aniya. “What?” “Heated arguments plus jealousy and misunderstanding minus communication and time, idagdag pa ang mga babae mo. That will surely equal to break up.” Okay na sana lahat. Ang problema maling equation ata ang nasusunod ni Paris. Imbes kasi na magkalabuan lang sila ay nahuhulog pa siya sa binata! Oo nga pala, hindi siya magaling sa Math!

“Some beginnings start with hellos, but ours started with a kiss.” Amaia was at lost of hope and Luke has just attempted to die when their path crossed. Araw-araw ay pahirap nang pahirap at pabigat nang pabigat na ang pinagdadaanan ni Amaia. Her father hates her, her sister despises her. Wala na ang ina niya para protektahan siya. All she has is herself and her sadness. Ngunit sa gabing sukong-suko na siya, natagpuan niya ang isang lalaking nakahilata sa gilid ng dagat. Although she has no idea who the man was, she suddenly became scared of him dying. With her desire of saving the man, she gave him a mouth to mouth—giving up her first kiss. But what is this? The mysterious man is responding to her kiss! For a love that started out with a kiss, how will it turn out in the end?

At the age of fourteen, Nathania Sarmiento started working as a striptease performer. She was a strip dancer but never a prostitute who perform s*xual activity for money. Nathania does not have a choice but to strip in front of men two times in a week to have money and feed her siblings. Her parents are in jail so she needs to support her siblings financially. One night, she met this billionaire named Warren Anderson. A cold-hearted, arrogant investor and businessperson. The latter paid her manager with a large amount of money in exchange of her virginity but she refused giving it to him. She left him in the room drooling over her. Next thing she knew? The strip club she was working for seven years was forcibly closed with unknown reason. Her manager then advised her to go to Anderson's company and try her luck to apply for work. Therefore, she left with no choice but to go there. The billionaire accepted her immediately but in one condition. She'll live with him.

Nagising si Dana Montecarlo matapos ang limang taon na pagkakaratay sa ospital. She was under comatose, matapos niyang makaligtas mula sa isang malalang car accident. Sa kanyang paggising ay agad niyang nakita ng asawang si Garrett. Masaya si Dana na malaman na nakaligtas ang kanyang asawa mula sa aksidente, and he looks alive and well... Pero sa paglipas ng mga araw, napapansin niya ang malaking pagbabago sa kanyang asawa. Ang mga halik nito ay hindi na katulad ng dati, and he is acting aloof and distant towards her, as if she is a total stranger. Ano kaya ang nangyari sa kanyang asawa pagkatapos ng aksidente na kinasangkutan nila?

They say that the most powerful weapon in the world is the human soul that is on fire. Filled with passion and sacred possession. Life would be more fearless with a flaming soul that is ready to do anything for their greatest love. Louen a 21-year-old college is a revel child that makes a lot of wrong decisions in her life that leads her to a stripping club and that place became her roller coaster ride and named as ‘The Greatest Stripper’ and meet this rich guy named Leusam Timothy Jimenez 29 years old, rich CEO that accidently got her pregnant. That turns her life up-side down.

Kilalang walang sinasanto ang katulad ni Novice De Guzman. Pagdating man sa business world o usaping buhay. Hindi siya nangingiming kalabanin ang sino man hahadlang sa kaniyang mga plano. Kung kinakailangan niyang pumatay, magagawa niya. Sa kabila ng lahat ay mapapasunod siya ng taong higit na kinasusuklaman nito- ang sariling ama. Iminungkahi nitong magpakasal siya, pumayag si Novice kahit labag sa kaniyang loob. Natuklasan niyang kilala niya ang babaeng napipisil nito para sa kaniya. Walang iba, kun'di si Shaina Monuz, ang dating nobya ng binata! Ipapakita niya sa nagmamagaling na ama na maling-mali ito na ipakasal siya. Pakikisamahan ni Novice ang babae at sasaktan katulad ng dati... Pero namamalayan na lang niyang unti-unti siyang nahuhulog dito, kasabay ng pagkasira ng pagsasama nila, dahil na rin sa mga maling desisyon ng binata. Maisasalba pa ba niya ang pagsasama nila? O hahayaan niyang muling mawala ito sa kaniyang buhay...

[Mature Content] Sa halos apat na taon, sekretarya si Ella Stanford kay Javier Summers, at loob ng panahon na iyon, palagi niyang nilalabanan ang nararamdaman para rito. Jave was undeniably sexy, pero alam ni Ella na hindi siya mahuhulog kailaman sa isang babaero. Ni minsan, ‘di man lang siya nito binigyang pansin. Kahit hindi naman ito naging problema para kay Ella, kinimkim niya itong mag-isa. Hanggang sa isang araw, sa magarbo at sosyal na birthday party ni Jave, dumating si Ella na suot ang isang napakagandang pulang dress, kasabay ang isang accessory: another man. Isang business trip sa Sicily, Italy kasama si Jave ang nagtulak sa kanila upang mas mapaglapit pa. Kinailangan pa ni Jave na magpanggap na mapapangasawa ni Ella para lumayo ang kanyang manliligaw. Soon, this led to an intense, passionate affair. Pero nang magdulot ng ‘di inaasahang pagbubuntis ang mainit na pagtatagpong ito, papayag ba ang isang malayang CEO na magpatali sa kasal? Naglalaman ang kuwentong ito ng mga sekswal na eksena at ‘di angkop na mga salita.

Demie Argento has been living alone in Italy since her parents died when she was 18. Until then, she worked hard for herself everyday, not noticing that she’s been out of her league. A 24 year old woman, who had just graduated. Living alone on their house, without gimmicks and fun. She then admitted to herself that she needs to spice things up, if she doesn't want to grow old, a virgin. And she will do that on her birthday, and that is on the day of Christmas. Right timing, their family friend invited her to spend the Christmas with them, so Demie's plan was immediately formed. She will surrender her virginity to Alastair, her childhood sweetheart. However , things went wrong. Because on that night, she surrendered herself to Alastair’s older brother, Alessandro. Will a mistake spice Demie’s life completely? Would they try to make it right? Or will it be just a forever hot mistake in Christmas?

Sofia Kennedy Fontana was a CEO of Fontana Real Estate Company. She was a terror, feared and dangerous boss. Sa isang kadahilanan ay may Lupa siyang gustong angkinin na siya namang pag-aari ni Miles Blanco. She fell for him, Kennedy pity him. She end up saving the land for the man, pero paano kung inalok niya ito ng kasal at ang kabayaran ay pag ibig? He's just an ordinary guy, that's what she thought of him. She's not just a CEO but also a Princess, she also do illegal business. Will they end up of loving each other despite of the secrets they hide to each other?