pinoy humor jokes

She writhing on the sand, her plump, pale body shining in the moonlight, that same intoxicating strawberry milk scent wafting off her in waves. “Please,” she whimpers. She arches her back, her coat sliding down enough to expose her ripe, perfect breasts as she bats her eyelashes up at him. “Please help me.” It’s at that moment that the moonlight shines down on her face just right and Landry feels like his knees are giving out on him.The light glints off her big eyes, so familiar Why this Omega in heat look exactly like the female Alpha he’s fought beside so many times? As the only female alpha, she is strong and brave, and fights alongside alpha King Landry, achieving victory after victory. But one day, she went into heat in front of him ...... When he learns the secret of her disguise as an alpha, will he fulfill his duty to torture her severely? Or will he personally help her ease the pain of her heat?

He's a law student who happened to be part of Bella Amore past life because of such false accusation. It took them eight years to meet again and now, Kashmiere Geyser Alcantara is a professional lawyer. Bella Amore's life is in danger and she needed someone like him to protect her at all cost because she's totally a troublemaker.

I needed this. I need to let go. She thought as she tried to justify her sexual feelings towards the sexy beast tangled to her body. "Stop me..." Matteo whispered harshly in her ear, but she was moaning to his kisses and was letting him take off her dress as he lay her down to the bed. He groaned when he saw her slender body which strangely aroused him more than those voluptuous stripper bodies that he had grown accustomed to. "Amara, baby..." ***** She's the daughter of one of the most influential families in the world. She grew up as one of the richest trust fund kids, and she lives a very lavish and luxurious lifestyle. But what people didn't know was the truth of her bloodline. She's the love child, of one of the richest men in the world. She was daddy's little princess. All three of her biological brothers, the true heir of her father's wealth hated her. His wife, her fake mom despised her, never acknowledge her existence unless it was for social occasions. ...... This is a story about the richest, deception, love, humor, hate, heartbreak, and all the drama you can fit into a book. Follow me, find out who's the lucky guy who gets to live his ever after with our madame billionaire. And for all of you who has been stalking on our townies... Take a wild guess, who knows, you might be right ....... *Warning! R-Rated for 18+ due to strong, explicit language and sexual content*

Passionate hatred can bring great meaning into an empty life. While trying to get her life back on track as a bartender after being released from prison, Samantha Logan is saddled with the responsibility of her father's irresponsibility. She must take the fall for his actions if she wants him to live.. They say the sins of the father shall be bestowed upon the children.. She got sold to a ruthless and cold blooded Mafia boss who doesn't think twice before killing anyone and became his play thing and would do anything and everything to stay alive...

Falling in love is the easiest part but trying to be ignorant about it and pushing it all away? What good would that do anyway? Meet Lucy Wilson, a 26 year old surgeon. Her work brings her back to New York, the place where she grew up with her childhood friend. A confident, young, beautiful woman who is well aware of the amount of attention she receives from the opposite sex but all these years she has been career focused and never allowed herself to get distracted by serious relationships. Meet Theodore Phillips, a 27 year old guy who is currently residing at New York. A full time Chef by profession and a pretty normal guy who lives a normal peaceful life. Just the way he likes it until he meets his childhood friend after almost 7 years. What happens when they try to reconnect ? Will they be able to let go of their silly fights from the past and move on as friends? Most importantly, will they be able to stay as friends as they claim to be or something more than that? Dive into their story filled with joy, fun, laughter and oh yeah, crazy drama of course.

Being banished and rejected from her pack by her Alpha mate years ago, Eve thinks she has started a new life after several years. One day, she picks up a mysterious man on the roadside who intrudes into her life. Meanwhile, fate brings her to meet her mate once again. A romantic story with laughs and tears will take place between these three characters.

An arrange marriage kind of love story. Both with big differences from each other. One live with peace and doesn't like chaos but the other one finds comfort in chaos. Anthony Vasquez a mafia boss who disguise himself as a businessman and a doctor. Flirty but professional, depends on what professionalism you want. Aside from his looks, his humor is also what girls around him like about him. Doctor sa umaga, mafia boss sa gabi, depende pa kung may pasyente kasi aside sa kumikitil siya ng buhay, nanggagamot din siya ng buhay. His priorities is with both with a little bit of partying and having sex with plenty of women who will offer themselves to him. His life was fun regardless of what his other personality do for a living, he's still having fun not until he was arranged marriage by his parents to a woman names Emily Suarez. A doctor of psychology who's a complete opposite of him. Their love story is not the romantic one but rather the fun and dangerous kind.

No, you must want something, anything. If you can really help me get revenge on David and Lana, I can't just let you do it for free". Ethan went quiet for a while. I held my breath waiting for what his request might be. "You're right I do want something". He said after thinking for few minutes "What?" I asked slowly. " Until you get your revenge on David, Lana and every other person you want, you will live here". " Wha... What are you saying? ". I stammered hoping he wasn't saying what I thought he was saying. Ethan moved his face closer to mine be was so close, our nose almost touched. " I want you to be with me! " ... After a devastating divorce with the man she had been married to for over three years, Rachel thought her life was over. Her family disowned her, they wanted nothing to do with her anymore and she couldn't blame them. She had just divorced David Hart, one of the top successful bachelors in the country and heir to the Hart industries. But they would never understand that she didn't divorce him, he divorced her after she caught him cheating on her with her god-damned best friend! Rachel was just about to end everything by jumping off a bridge when she was saved by the most unexpected person. The boy she once bullied severally in highschool because he always wore ugly glass and was from a poor background, how come that glass make him so hot now? Why was he helping her get revenge on ex-husband who is trying to make her life even more miserable? And most important how did he get so handsome? What exactly does he want from her?

Dash is no stranger to pain, but he learned from a young age to conceal it from the world. He grew up watching his parents fight, his mother crying herself to sleep while his father drowned himself in booze. That’s not the life he wants for himself. Dash swore off women right there and then, but growing up, his hormones played a significant part in turning him into a man-.  Dash is a single billionaire with a gigantic dark secret. He is the Underboss of the biggest Mafia in New York City. Dash likes to sleep around, and rarely sleeps with the same girl twice, but his sense of humor and his charismatic smile make every girl bow at his will until he meets the only girl who won’t look twice at him.  Grace is Dash’s polar opposite, but opposites attract and Dash can’t stop thinking about the girl he saved the night he covered his twin brother’s . The girl who was dancing on the table trying to strip her clothes, and ended up in his arms. The same girl that emptied her stomach all down his new leather jacket.  Getting to know Grace and trying to seduce her will be Dash’s biggest challenge, bigger than taking down the Italian Mob that is threatening their power in New York. How serious will Dash be about Grace when he sees a target on her back? Will he be able to put her above everything and everyone, or will go back to his old self not caring about anyone else? This is the second book of The Legacies Series. You can read this book as a stand-alone, but for better comprehension, it is advisable to read the first book of the series. “The Reaper CEO” 

"Salamat at dumating ka sa buhay ko. Ikaw lang ang babaeng minahal ko ng ganito. Mahal na mahal kita at gusto kitang maging masaya, kaya ipapangako ko na isa sa mga araw na ito, makakakita ka na ulit."