one liner jokes tagalog

Kilalang walang sinasanto ang katulad ni Novice De Guzman. Pagdating man sa business world o usaping buhay. Hindi siya nangingiming kalabanin ang sino man hahadlang sa kaniyang mga plano. Kung kinakailangan niyang pumatay, magagawa niya. Sa kabila ng lahat ay mapapasunod siya ng taong higit na kinasusuklaman nito- ang sariling ama. Iminungkahi nitong magpakasal siya, pumayag si Novice kahit labag sa kaniyang loob. Natuklasan niyang kilala niya ang babaeng napipisil nito para sa kaniya. Walang iba, kun'di si Shaina Monuz, ang dating nobya ng binata! Ipapakita niya sa nagmamagaling na ama na maling-mali ito na ipakasal siya. Pakikisamahan ni Novice ang babae at sasaktan katulad ng dati... Pero namamalayan na lang niyang unti-unti siyang nahuhulog dito, kasabay ng pagkasira ng pagsasama nila, dahil na rin sa mga maling desisyon ng binata. Maisasalba pa ba niya ang pagsasama nila? O hahayaan niyang muling mawala ito sa kaniyang buhay...

Isang normal na gabi lang sana ang lahat kay Paris Laurene, kung hindi lamang niya nasaksihan ang tumataginting na pagkabigo ni Theon, sa isang dalagang balak nitong ipakilala bilang girlfriend sa abuela nito. Last minute nang bigla nalang umayaw ang dalagang bitbit ni Theon kaya’t naiwan ito habang di malaman kung paano haharapin ang parating na Lola. Well look at that, even the hot, rich and devilishly handsome Theonnius Naverra got dump in front of her very eyes! May pag-asa pa ang Earth! Hindi maatim ni Paris na hayaan si Theon na humarap nang bigo sa abuela nitong dumating sa naturang tagpuan. kahit pa kating-kati na ang dila niyang budburan ito ng pang-aasar. Ngunit dahil isa siyang mabait, maganda at binibining may busilak na kalooban, nagpakilala siya bilang girlfriend ni Theon. “Relax, Theon. Magbi-break din naman tayo.” Nakaisip na si Paris ng plano upang malinis na matakasan nilang dalawa ni Theon ang ginawa nilang pagpapanggap na magkasintahan. Iyon ay ang gumawa ng paraan upang magbreak sila nang hindi nagdududa at nabibigla si Lola Celestina. “We just need to follow the right breakup formula.” aniya. “What?” “Heated arguments plus jealousy and misunderstanding minus communication and time, idagdag pa ang mga babae mo. That will surely equal to break up.” Okay na sana lahat. Ang problema maling equation ata ang nasusunod ni Paris. Imbes kasi na magkalabuan lang sila ay nahuhulog pa siya sa binata! Oo nga pala, hindi siya magaling sa Math!

Demie Argento has been living alone in Italy since her parents died when she was 18. Until then, she worked hard for herself everyday, not noticing that she’s been out of her league. A 24 year old woman, who had just graduated. Living alone on their house, without gimmicks and fun. She then admitted to herself that she needs to spice things up, if she doesn't want to grow old, a virgin. And she will do that on her birthday, and that is on the day of Christmas. Right timing, their family friend invited her to spend the Christmas with them, so Demie's plan was immediately formed. She will surrender her virginity to Alastair, her childhood sweetheart. However , things went wrong. Because on that night, she surrendered herself to Alastair’s older brother, Alessandro. Will a mistake spice Demie’s life completely? Would they try to make it right? Or will it be just a forever hot mistake in Christmas?

The Piper triplets were very different. Not just different from each other, but they were different from everyone else. Halona and Moira are witches, just like everyone else in their family, except for Aria. The third triplet, born without a speck of magic. Due to tragedy they are in a new school in a new town, living with their brother. But when unexplained murders begin popping up around town, strange things start happening to Aria. How is she connected to these murders? Can she find the killer with the help of her family and friends? Can they each manage to find love while also trying to find the person responsible for all the crimes? Or will their story end in even more tragedy?

[Mature Content] Sa halos apat na taon, sekretarya si Ella Stanford kay Javier Summers, at loob ng panahon na iyon, palagi niyang nilalabanan ang nararamdaman para rito. Jave was undeniably sexy, pero alam ni Ella na hindi siya mahuhulog kailaman sa isang babaero. Ni minsan, ‘di man lang siya nito binigyang pansin. Kahit hindi naman ito naging problema para kay Ella, kinimkim niya itong mag-isa. Hanggang sa isang araw, sa magarbo at sosyal na birthday party ni Jave, dumating si Ella na suot ang isang napakagandang pulang dress, kasabay ang isang accessory: another man. Isang business trip sa Sicily, Italy kasama si Jave ang nagtulak sa kanila upang mas mapaglapit pa. Kinailangan pa ni Jave na magpanggap na mapapangasawa ni Ella para lumayo ang kanyang manliligaw. Soon, this led to an intense, passionate affair. Pero nang magdulot ng ‘di inaasahang pagbubuntis ang mainit na pagtatagpong ito, papayag ba ang isang malayang CEO na magpatali sa kasal? Naglalaman ang kuwentong ito ng mga sekswal na eksena at ‘di angkop na mga salita.

Kae was a lonely person but not until her Mom forced her to be an artist. Her life has never been easy for her when her mistake went viral and everyone starts bashing her... Everyone left her. She's always been left behind. But until she met this man named Rogue... her mind changed. She wants to be with him because this time, she wants to be the one to leave. She promised herself she'd make that man fall for her and leave after seducing Mr. Delavergne.

Most women fall for businessmen, engineers, doctors, and lawyers, but in my case? I fell in love with my bodyguard. *** Caroline and Miguel found themselves caught up in the heat, thinking it would be just a one-night stand. Caroline preferred giving herself to a stranger rather than being forced into a marriage with Alexander. However, Caroline's heart was unexpectedly drawn to Miguel after their passionate encounter. Little did Caroline know that Miguel was just a mere bodyguard for her family. As rumors swirled and the weight of societal judgment hung in the air, Caroline and Miguel found themselves grappling with the challenges of concealing their love. The stark division of social classes posed a constant threat, pushing them to confront the harsh realities of a world that disapproved of relationships that defied established norms. Will she choose to continue her love for Miguel, despite knowing that it is forbidden? Or will she prioritize her family's wishes and marry a wealthy man?

Celeste Delgado is a woman who will do anything for money, para maipagamot ang Mama niya na may sakit sa puso. In desperation, she had to come to the bachelor party as stripper and sell herself for money. In exchange for 20 million, she spent a hot night with a stranger. After four years, she accidentally saw the one she was with that night. The man still remembers who she is, and what a warm night they shared. She immediately hid her daughter, but the DNA test cannot lie! Idris Gonzalo, is a heart surgeon, one of the youngest billionaire in Asia, and the heir of Gonzalo Empire. Anong gagawin niya kung malaman niyang may anak siya? What if their daughter wants a happy family but Idris canʼt be happy knowing that Celeste is a liar and the reason why his ex-fiancee left him? Kaya pa ba itong ayusin ng pag-ibig?

Lilith wakes in a river on land she doesn’t recognise. What was her name again? Where did she come from? She walks for hours, hoping to find help and salvation. She does find population, but she had never imagined discovering the secrets of a world she doesn’t remember. Alpha Theodore Moon is a wolf-shifter, and what’s more, he’s one of her fated mates who nurses her back to health and falls profoundly and irrevocably in love with her. But with the other comes sordid secrets that have been hidden. Lilith holds a power like no other werewolf, and she’s being hunted as we speak. Will she uncover her secrets and learn to wield the powers she was given at birth before she is enslaved for them? Come and read with us to find out.

Soulmates. Everyone, between the ages of sixteen and eighteen, would have the names of their soulmates appear on their left or right wrist in a light grey ink that turned red when you meet them. Should your soulmates die then their name would turn white. *** *** Luca stood staring down at the water below him as he stood on the thick cement railing of the bridge. Looking down at his wrists he traced the names Williams Roswell and Jedidiah Roswell, the names of his soulmates who he had yet to meet. “I’m sorry,” He sobbed. “I can’t do it anymore. You both will be better off without me, you don’t need me… I’m nothing…”. “Goodbye.” He dropped his hands to his sides and took a deep breath then jumped in.