old tagalog jokes

"Thirty million" I heard a male voice echo round the walls of the hall which silenced everyone. Who would bid that high just to buy me? "Thirty million dollars" the male voice spoke up once again, a young man striding confidently forward like he owned the very building with his bidding card raised up. He was eighty percent taller than everyone in attendance. I sucked in breath at his refined but cold appearance. His tuxedo hugged his body and showed of his impeccable muscles. His dark long hair was slick and let to fall, not a single strand out of place. He had the profile of a greek God but his features lacked warmth and empathy. His brown steel eyes burrowed into mine, a look of disgust on his face for me. "Sold!" the chairman hit the gavel on the table after a brief moment of silence since no one else was willing to bid higher. A wave of ovation took the hall, men chattering amongst themselves and whistling. "Get her ready and bring her to me" he pivoted and sharply ordered one of the armed bodyguards standing close to the podium. He owns me now. **** When a ruthless mafia lord bids for an innocent girl, can her innocense survive in the abyss of his darkness?

BOOK ONE of COALESCENCE OF THE FIVE: After being rejected by 5 mates, Gamma Lucianne pleaded with the Moon Goddess to spare her from any further mate-bonds. To her dismay, she is being bonded for the sixth time. What’s worse is that her sixth-chance mate is the most powerful creature ruling over all werewolves and Lycans - the Lycan King himself. She is certain, dead certain, that a rejection would come sooner or later, though she hopes for it to be sooner. King Alexandar was ecstatic to meet his bonded mate, and couldn’t thank their Goddess enough for gifting him someone so perfect. However, he soon realizes that this gift is reluctant to accept him, and more than willing to sever their bond. He tries to connect with her but she seems so far away. He is desperate to get intimate with her but she seems reluctant to open up to him. He tries to tell her that he is willing to commit to her for the rest of his life but she doesn’t seem to believe him. He is pleading for a chance: a chance to get to know her; a chance to show her that he’s different; and a chance to love her. But when not-so-subtle crushes, jealous suitors, self-entitled Queen-wannabes, an old flame, a silent protector and a past wedding engagement threaten to jeopardize their relationship, will Lucianne and Xandar still choose to be together? Is their love strong enough to overcome everything and everyone? Or will Lucianne resort to enduring a sixth rejection from the one person she thought she could entrust her heart with? *** BOOK TWO: The Rogues Who Went Rogue BOOK THREE: The Indomitable Huntress & the Hardened Duke

Elgan Gaulia Lambert CEO muda berhati dingin terpaksa menikah dengan gadis manja dan agresif karena sebuah perjodohan. Gadis yang selalu mencari perhatiannya saat mereka sudah sah menjadi sepasang suami istri. Gadis yang selalu menggodanya dengan kata-kata manis yang lambat laun mampu memberikan getaran aneh dihatinya. Patricia Florence Berjuang seorang diri demi pernikahan adalah sesuatu yang sulit yang pernah Cia alami sepanjang hidupnya. Berulang kali jatuh dan sakit hati menjadi hal biasa yang ia rasakan sejak pernikah itu. Seharusnya, alasan itu cukup bagi Cia untuk membenci suaminya tersebut. Namun, seolah mengerti rencana tuhan, Cia tetap bertahan untuk mendapatkan cinta suaminya. Apakah perjuangannya berhasil? Apakah Elgan berhasil Cia taklukkan? Sebesar apa perjuangan cinta Cia? Tentunya, berjuang seorang diri bukanlah hal yang mudah. Bukan hal yang bisa dilakukan oleh sembarang wanita.

“Just because you hate me doesn’t mean your body doesn’t want me” he said, He lifted her leg and leaned closer to her, his fingers touched her lips and trailed down to her neck, he could hear her heart beating fast and he knew he had that effect on her. “Your body wants me and there is no denying that” he stated the obvious, “So don’t you ever think that I can’t have you when I want because I can and I would” he boldly said and then turned his back towards her. *** “I own you now Bella and you can never escape me” he whispered to her ears hovering over her and pinning her body to his with his arms around her waist. Her scent was driving him crazy making his imagination grow wild. *** Bella, a joyful and beautiful girl who lived happily with her parents and her little brother as the only family related to the Alpha of the Crescent moon pack was met with the gruesome death of her family by another Alpha who attacked their pack. This shattered and broke her making her weak and lonely, she thought she had seen the end of the world until she found out that she was sold as a bride by her uncle to the same Alpha who killed her family. Will she accept such cruel fate and bend to her Alpha's will or would she avenge her family?

Sa edad na diyese-nuwebe ay nagpakasal si Liza kay Midnight, ang bilyonaryong binili ang lupaing pamana ng yumao niyang lolo. Subalit tila naging masikip ang mundo niya sa piling nito. Ni hindi siya maituring na asawa ni Midnight. Kasing lamig ng yelo ang puso nito, ayaw ng atensiyon. Gusto na niya itong sukuan kahit nasanay na ang puso niya rito. Ngunit isang gabi ay umuwi ito at sinugod siya sa kuwarto, hinalikan at inangkin. At dahil sa kapusukan, nagparaya siya. Inakala ni Liza na mamahalin na siya ni Midnight pagkatapos ng gabing pinagsaluhan nila. Ngunit bigla sila nitong inalok ng sampung milyon kapalit ng divorce. Labag man sa kalooban ngunit pumayag siya. Subalit sa kaniyang pag-alis ay nagimbal siya sa natuklasan. Nagbunga ang gabing pagniniig nila ng dating asawa! Hahabulin ba niya ang karapatan, o ililihim ang katotohanan?

Lucy Tang was nothing but a timid orphan girl who was trying to live her life with dignity and with her hard earn money. She was being forced by the cruel society to the corner again and again but she was still holding back and trying hard for her better future. She wanted to be an actress and to be known by everyone in the world but her beautiful dream shattered when she had to pay her father's debt. Due to her financial condition she was planning to die sooner or later. But who would have known that she would meet a cold, dominant and tyrant CEO. Ryan Song was the man who had hated woman from the core of his heart but when his eyes fell on Lucy, he decided to make her his at any cost.

She was rejected. He was cheated on. He was cold. She was never the same. He was a Beta. She was a nobody. She was heartless. He gave her life meaning. They said she was colder than ice. But he didn't want her any other way.

David Giovionno, seorang duda muda tampan yang memiliki putra tampan berusia 4 tahun yang bernama Liam Sky Giovinno. Sikap dan auranya yang dingin, arogan dan tak terbantahkan itu muncul ketika ia kehilangan sosok istrinya setelah melahirkan putra pertama mereka. Meskipun terlihat tidak tersentuh, pesona yang dimiliki David tetap berhasil memikat banyak wanita cantik yang ingin mendekatinya. Liam Sky Giovinno, bocah tampan yang malang karena sejak lahir ia belum pernah merasakan kasih sayang orang tua yang sesungguhnya. David selalu mengatakan jika kehadirannya hanyalah pembawa sial. Siapa pun yang berada didekatnya pasti akan mendapatkan kesialan menurut David, meskipun pada kenyataannya yang dikatakan David sama sekali tidak pernah terjadi. Bagaimana kisah perjuangan Liam yang berusaha keras untuk menaklukkan hati David agar mau menerima kehadirannya dan bisa menyayangi Liam dengan semestinya? Lalu, bagaimana jika tiba-tiba saja sosok yang begitu mirip dengan mendiang istrinya muncul dihadapan David maupun Liam? Apakah kehadiran sosok wanita tersebut akan berhasil mengubah hubungan David dan Liam menjadi jauh lebih baik layaknya hubungan ayah dan anak yang seharusnya? Atau justru kehadiran wanita tersebut akan jauh lebih mengacaukan hubungan David dan Liam mengingat pola pikir David yang masih kekeh mengatakan jika Liam adalah anak pembawa sial? Mari temukan jawaban dan kisahnya...!

Warning: This book contains explicit sexual content, but does not condone rape. "What happened, Father? What happened?" I asked anxiously, feeling restless. "He challenged me to a game and used his mansion as a bet," Father explained. I looked at Mother, who was crying, and suddenly understood what was going on. "Father, did you use this house as a bet and lose?" I asked, anger welling up inside me. “How could you, Father? How could you do this? Where do we go from here?" I yelled, overcome with pain. But my voice got stuck in my throat as I heard Dad's next words. "I didn't bet the house, but I used you," he declared, leaving me speechless and stunned. ***************************** "Do not even consider falling for me because, like the others, you are just a toy. Just give me an heir, and I will set you free," he said, pushing her onto the bed while his words continued to echo in her mind. Zoey, wagered by her father to the cold-hearted Alpha Ethan after a foolish gamble, finds herself reduced to a mere plaything. Ethan takes pleasure in emotionally tormenting her, believing women to be worthless due to being cheated and rejected by his first mate. Little does he know that Zoey is his second chance mate. Zoey is framed, and Alpha Ethan discovers her in bed with his cousin. Heartbroken and filled with anger, he sends her away, unaware that she is already carrying his child. Five years later, their paths cross again, and he realizes that she is his second chance mate and the mother of his child. But how can he win her back? She is no longer the naive girl he once knew; instead, she is a single mother sought after by many Alphas and Lords.

Captain Leopold Rodriguez was sent to Palestine for a certain mission with his elite team. But a certain tragedy would change his kind and cheerful nature. Pero hindi rin nag tagal iyon dahil sa pag dating ng kaniyang anak na si Lia. Ngunit sadya talagang mapaglaro ang tadhana. The ghosts from his past started to re-appear which would bring Lia into a state of coma. Leopold started to fall into depravity and darkness once again. Until he met Andrea Herrera. Anak ng isa sa pinakamayamang businessman sa bansa. Subalit hindi talaga titigil ang multo ng nakaraan sa panggugulo sa kasalukuyan. Pipilitin nitong patayin ang nag iisang ilaw na siyang tatanglaw sa kadilimang bumabalot kay Leopold. Pero sa pagkakataong ito ay hindi hahayaan ng binata na masaktan si Andrea. Ngunit hanggang kailan niya kayang panatilihing ligtas ang dalaga? Hanggang kailan kaya magsisilbing ilaw ni Leopold si Andrea?