old tagalog jokes

She's perfect. Kind, beautiful, and hardworking. Scholar din siya sa isang prehistisyosong unibersidad na kilala bilang paaralan ng mga mayayaman. Marami ang nagkakahumaling sa kaniya, pero dahil sa mahirap siya, ay nalalait siya. Because a girl like her shouldn't be studying in a school na hindi ka level ng kaniyang estado sa buhay. Ilang beses at halos araw-araw na siyang binubully, pero dahil sa pangarap na gusto niyang maabot, nagtiis siya. But never did she knows na hindi lang iyon ang pagdadaanan niya. Isang araw, dumating ang SSC council president at nakita ang SSC secretary na pasimuno sa pambubully kay Hailey. Pinaglaban nito si Hailey at sinibak sa pwesto ang mapangahas na bully. Hindi lang 'yun, pinag drop out din sa school due to violence. Lubos ang galit ng mga bully kay Hailey. Dahil kay Hailey napasibak sila at napahiya. Kaya naman, sinet up nila si Hailey at ibenenta sa isang grupo sa bar. She was raped. Hindi niya alam kung sino. Hanggang sa isang hindi inaasahan na pangyayari, nasangkot siya sa isang situwasyon kung saan muntikan na niyang ikamatay. And someone happened to save her. She owed her life to him. But this man wants her as the collateral. Gusto siya nitong maging role play girlfriend nito para lang mapatigil ang ina nito sa kaka appoint ng mga babae. Pero papaano kung malaman niya na ang lalaking ito ay ang rapist niya pala no'ng gabing binenta siya at ng mismong ama ng kaniyang dinadala? Magagawa pa ba niyang mapatawad ito?

Si Xerxes Santillan III o mas kilala bilang Tres ay isang magaling na CEO sa mismong family business nila. Kilala ang kanilang kompaniya sa bansa at halos lahat sa kaniya ay perpekto. Mabait, guwapo at supportive. Maliban do'n, maganda ang kaniyang buhay, at may maganda ring singer na girlfriend. Ngunit sa kabila ng perpekto niyang buhay ay hindi pa rin niya mapapayag ang babaeng minamahal sa isang kasal. Parati na lang siyang naghihintay at sumusuporta sa mga pangarap nito. "Babe, please give me one more chance. I'll make sure na after nitong crusade performance ko sa Italy, ay magpapakasal na tayo." sabi nito sa kaniya sa ika-apat na proposal niya kay Lian. Tinakbuhan lang naman siya nito at walang sabi na umalis patungong airport. "Pero ang sabi mo, after ng concert mo sa Paris ay sasagutin mo na ako." giit niya, pero hindi niya pinaalam na galit siya at dismayado. "I'm sorry, babe. Babawi ako sa'yo after, okay?" Kung kailan nakahanda na ang lahat ay saka naman ito aalis bigla. Mahal niya ito, kaya kahit anong pilit niya, kung mahal din nito ang pangarap nito, ay wala siyang ibang magagawa kundi ang mahalin rin ang pangarap nito. Sa kaparehong araw, namamalayan na lang ni Travis na kasal na siya at nagising sa isang kama na may kayakapan na ibang babae at walang saplot. Ano kaya ang magiging love story ni Travis, gayo'ng nagtaksil na siya sa kaniyang nobya?

Rosaline meninggal dunia, dan Sean secara pribadi membuat Jane dipenjara karenanya. "Tolong rawat dia dengan baik"— kata-kata itu membuat hidup Jane seperti di neraka selama 3 tahun di penjara bahkan mengorbankan satu ginjalnya. Sebelum Jane masuk penjara, ia berkata "Aku tidak membunuhnya." Tetapi Sean tidak bergeming. Setelah ia bebas dari penjara, jane berkata " Aku yang membunuh Rosaline, aku sangat bersalah" Sean pucat pasi dan menjawab, "Diam! Aku tak mau mendengar hal itu!" Jane tertawa. "Ya, Aku bunuh Rosaline Summers dan aku dipenjara 3 tahun untuk itu." Jane melarikan diri dan Sean mencarinya sampai ke ujung dunia. Sean berkata, "Aku akan memberikanmu ginjal, kalau kamu menyerahkan hatimu" Tetapi Jane hanya menatap Sean dan menjawab " Aku tak mencintaimu lagi, Sean..."

Pinatay si Rosaline at personal na nilagay ni Sean si Jane sa kulungan ng mga babae dahil dito. “Alagaan mo siya ng mabuti” — ang mga salitang sinabi ni Sean ay ginawang impyerno ang buhay ni Jane sa kulungan at nagdulot pa para mawalan siya ng kidney. Bago siya mapunta sa kulungan, sinabi niya, “Hindi ko siya pinatay,” ngunit walang epekto ito kay Sean. Matapos niyang makalaya mula sa kulungan, sinabi niya, “Pinatay ko si Rosaline, kasalanan ko ito!” Gigil na sinabi ni Sean, “Tumahimik ka! Ayokong marinig na sabihin mo iyan!” Tumawa si Jane. “Oo, pinatay ko si Rosaline Summers at nakulong ako ng tatlong taon para dito.” Tumakas siya at hinagilap ni Sean ang buong mundo para sa kanya. Sabi ni Sean, “Ibibigay ko ang aking kidney, Jane. Kung ibibigay mo ang iyong puso.” Ngunit tumingala si Jane kay Sean at sinabi, “Hindi na kita mahal, Sean...”

Empty vessels make the most noise, and men who fit that description to a tee hardly make for suitable partners. When Corinne had to go on a blind date with someone like that, she did the unthinkable simply to show her disinterest in him—she kissed a handsome older man whom she had never met before. "I hereby pledge myself to you," the older man vowed. If a single kiss from her was all it took for him to devote himself to her, would a second kiss entail much more? There was only one way for Corinne to find out…

To drown away her pain from a harsh breakup, Jayda went to a bar to get wasted. She met Sebastian Miller, The multimillionaire with the worst personality but incredibly sexy. She had a one night stand with him, creating a bond that binds them forever!

Kiara Westwood was the 18 year old daughter of two Alpha parents. But she was born without one of the basic abilities of a wolf. Wanting to escape from the protection and concern of her family and pack which suffocated her. She moves to the pack of the Lycan King himself. Alejandro Rossi. Fearless, ruthless and cold-hearted. Alejandro cares for nothing or no one and that’s the way he liked it. He believes his sole purpose is to contain the danger that threatens their very existence. At 34, Alejandro had not found his destined mate, nor has he taken one of choice. Fucking women was just a past time and he didnt have the heart for love nor the interest. That was until Kiara stepped into his life, like a breath of fresh air or a storm on a hot summers night. Under the blood moon, by a cruel twist of fate they realise they are mated. Will Kiara be able to make her way into his frozen heart and revive any emotions he is capable of? Or would he destroy her completely in the process? ---- THE SECOND INSTALLMENT OF THE ALPHA Book 1 - Her Forbidden Alpha Book 2 - Her Cold-Hearted Alpha Book 3 - Her Destined Alpha Book 4 - Caged Between The Beta & Alpha Book 5 - King Alejandro: The Return Of Her Cold-Hearted Alpha For updates, character aesthetics release dates and more follow me on IG author.muse or FB author muse

Her family has fallen from grace, but Aria never thought she could fall quite this far!When her father, the Alpha of their pack, looses everything, Aria is forced to leave her homeland and travel north. Her new surroundings are nothing like the lavish lifestyle she's used to, but she vows to make the most of it.Until her parents tell her that she's been sold to the Alpha of another pack, a rival pack. Aria can't believe this is happening to her! But what can she do about it?In her new home, she meets the Alpha's son, next in charge to be Alpha, Sebastian, and is immediately attracted to him. But how can she trust him when his father is so cruel?When Aria discovers her family has been murdered, she thinks its Sebastian's family behind it. Will this betrayal tear them apart or will Sebastian prove his innocence and his love for Aria?

"I have to say I quite like the sound of my name on your lips," he bent over until they were face to face. He smiled at her as if to let that piece of crucial information sink in. Anelia's breath caught at his close proximity. "Come now, breathe Anelia. I have hardly started," butterflies and even more butterflies erupted in her stomach. Anelia Telford only cared about three things in her life; taking care of her sister, doing her job and staying off the radar. Being a loving and hardworking person she had no trouble keeping the former two in check. The latter? Well, that didn't exactly work out considering she ended up encountering a man whose comings and goings alone were a mystery at La Vida; the hotel she worked at. As if being manipulated by a whirlwind, her life gets entangled with Dexter Black's, a man she would have only used the words arrogant, annoying and sly to describe. But what happens when two people from two different tracks of life suddenly develop feelings beneath the dislike they have for each other? Will Anelia be able to handle the complications, manipulations and pain that come with loving a wealthy man such as Dexter. Find out in this heartwarming story where true love wins! *Unedited*

Stella Sullivan is your normal seventeen-nearly eighteen-year-old girl. She likes shopping, taking selfies on her phone and hanging out with her friends until she had to move as her mother has just died and her father couldn't cope. He got into a lot of debt with his boss, and the only payment his boss would take was his daughter. So, as a cover for selling her, her father told her he got a promotion and that they had to move to a quiet country town as part of that promotion. What Stella didn't know was that she was about to be introduced to a new kind of not only living but an entirely different species. Axel Echethier has just turned five hundred years old. He is cruel, ruthless, violent, strict, savage, brutal, and a lot would call him bloodthirsty and barbaric, but that is only to others outside his pack because outsiders cause trouble and then pack members get killed. He is the King of Alphas and nothing gets done with a soft hand. Axel learnt that the hard way when he lost his chosen Queen. He has given up on finding his true mate, but this doesn't faze him as a true mate would just be a distraction and a weakness he doesn't want... **** WARNING **** The first part of this story contains mature scenes, implied rape, and some violence. In the extension "SOLD TO THE ENEMY ALPHA KING" Please read at your own discretion, as this part contains some violence, including physical, mental, and sexual abuse, including some rape, which may trigger some readers. Again, please read at your own discretion.