kumpulan humor islami

"Cincin kamu ini, kamu percaya gak kalau cincin ini harganya lima ratus juta?“ “Hah? Ya gak mungkinlah. Ini itu cincin murah.“ “Tapi aku beneran yakin, Mir. Suamiku pengusaha berlian, aku sedikit banyak tahu tentang hal itu. Dan di cincin kamu ini setiap sisinya diantara baris M dan H bertabur berlian dengan kualitas yang gak bisa dianggap biasa.“ Aku terpaku mendengar penuturannya yang gak masuk akal sama sekali. Mas Haris cuma jualan tahu sedari muda. Dari mana dia mendapatkan uang untuk membeli cincin semahal ini. “Aku juga yakin kalau cincin ini bukan warisan. Pasti ditempa dan kalau kamu gak percaya kamu bisa cek di tokoku, Mir. Jujur deh, suami kamu konglomerat?" “Vi jangan bercanda, suamiku cuma tukang tahu.“

EMILIANA                  It was supposed to be a simple wedding. Marry the old fucker then while he's busy trying to get in my pants, stick a knife in his throat. And if anyone asks... I'm pretty sure I would have come up with something believable. I mean, how hard is it for someone his age to have a heart attack or trip and fall onto a knife. Right? But then in the middle of the wedding, this hot guy shows up in a bloody Armani suit, like covered in blood from head to toe, kills the man I'm supposed to marry and takes his place. What the fuck? Seriously, What the actual fuck? TROPES; Arranged marriage, forced proximity, he falls first, crazy FL, your daily amount of steam and HEA.

Missy moves to a small town in Northern California after walking in on her boyfriend in bed with someone else. The picturesque cottage she bought outright isn’t as picturesque as she was promised. She is forced to hire the only contractor in town to make it liveable, even though she can’t stand the man and his rude and crude remarks. Adrian Brewer is a single father, fighting for his parental rights for his daughter, and doesn’t need another woman to bring more drama into his life….but there is just something about Missy that makes him tease her like a little boy with a crush and has him wishing for more. When Adrian makes repairs to her new home, can he also help repair her heart? Can she repair his in return? When their past comes back to ruin what they started building together, will the foundation of their budding love be able to withstand the storm? Will Missy let it all burn down? If it does, can Adrian build it back up?

Part 1: completed. Sequel: Completed || Clara, a human born to werewolf parents, is a notorious member of the White Soul Pack. Everybody is troubled by her even the alpha. So when she finds her mate, everyone is ecstatic except her. But she never knew her mate would lead her to her family and its deep dark secrets which were buried for years. ||

Disillusioned about love, Derek Miller has no intention of getting married or starting a serious relationship. All he ever wanted was a one-night fling until he got into a dangerous trap with a mysterious girl. Lily, a girl running from her dark past and away from the clutches of a dangerous man gets into an arranged contract marriage with a man who curses more than a sailor for the sake of protection. Taking his surname for disguise, she tried to live a quiet life because falling in love was not supposed to be part of the deal. When these two are brought together to live under the same roof, anything is bound to happen. They’re fire and silk, water and ice, exact opposites but what happens when the opposite attracts. Will Derek be able to save Lily when the past comes knocking? Will Lily be able to save Derek from the nightmares of his past? Will they be able to move on and forgive everything that made them who they are? Read to find out more about their beautiful yet imperfect journey.

Luca - I saw her sitting in the booth at a cafe I was a regular at and knew she was different from other humans. There was something about her that spoke to me and my inner soul. We both wanted her from that moment on. I am the vampire king, and she will be my queen. She is stunningly beautiful with those emerald eyes and hair that reminds me of the sunrise. Something was nagging at my mind telling me she reminded me of someone. I felt someone nudge me, and I knew it was time for me to go. I knew that I would be here more because there was no way I was leaving her alone and unguarded from this moment on. Sienna - I was sitting at my usual table in the cafe when I felt the weight of someone's eyes on me. I looked up and into the most amazing pair of golden eyes I had ever seen. I can only describe them as fire since they have flecks of red within them. He was staring at me, and I found it incredibly difficult to look away. I shook my head and looked away. He might have been the gorgeous man I have ever seen, but I have more important things to worry about. I needed to finish college and secure my place in the world. I didn’t know then that he would become one of the most important people in my life, and he would help me discover what and who I am.

This story is about an innocent girl named Elena, who dared to run away from her fate… Elena Swan, a destined Luna of Dark Sapphire pack decided to live her life as a normal human by hiding her wolf from the world. She questioned her life choices when she met her kind and gentle mate only in his wolf form only for him to disappear for years ahead. Her peaceful existence became a mess when to avoid a possible danger, her pack decided to merge with the enemy pack, only for her to find, Luke the arrogant and jerk future alpha of Moonshine pack to be her mate? How can she possibly have two mates? Who is the real one? She found herself in hot water, when a merciless and murderous vampire, Evandor Adino, became obsessed with her. The deadly vampire gave her a choice to save her mate and her family by being with him willingly or can lose everyone and still be with him forcefully. Will she sacrifice herself to save her love or will she sacrifice her pack to save her freedom? Or will she fight for her love and her pack and become a true Luna? Get along on the journey to know more about the nerve wrecking adventure of the ‘Two mates of the Late Blooming Luna?’

Emily had plans, plans that didn't involve moving in with her elder brother and having to share an entwined room with his best friend. Being born into a rich family,her only intentions were to attend college and fulfill her dreams of becoming an artist but her world turns upside down when trouble comes knocking in the form of Tyler,her brother's undeniably gorgeous and irresistible best friend. However,Emily and Tyler's relationship kicks off to a rocky start and her guarded world opens up as she is between her feelings for Tyler and his unyielding demeanor towards her, constantly reminding her that he has no interest in her and only sees her as his best friend's obnoxious little sister. Will a sheltered naive girl like Emily be able to break through Tyler's caged heart or will his cold and unyielding demeanor be too strong for her to handle?

Ivy went home only to find the man she devoted her whole life to cheating with her elder sister. It was supposed to be their wedding day and he didn't show up,breaking his promise after making her give up on her career. Heartbroken, she found solace in the bar and she met someone in her drunken state. The next morning, she had no way to return home because she was now homeless. She pleaded with the one who helped her to take her in, but he refused. Then it struck her. "I heard you are looking for a wife over the phone. Let's get married,"she proposed. A few days later, the media were surprise to see a once famous actress with a renowned billionaire, leading to interviews. Mr. Zack Anderson, usually dismissive of reporters, seemed different that day. "Mr. Zack Anderson, did the once famous actress seduce you for personal gain?" "Who has the right to seduce me other than my wife?" he replied, and someone in his room stood up. "She married my uncle!" Six months later, her husband's sudden confession surprised her.

Warning: Mature Content Ahead. Can’t decide what trope you want to read next? Well, look no further because Fractured has it all. If you're ready to dive into a world where passion meets peril, where dominance intertwines with desire, and where one fierce female leads the charge, then this book is for you. On her first day at university, Josie’s life takes a dramatic turn. Expecting nothing more than the typical college experience, she instead finds herself thrust into a realm of supernatural intrigue. Her guide into this new world is none other than her enigmatic and irresistibly attractive headmaster. As Josie navigates her new reality, she encounters five breathtakingly hot males, each with their own secrets and powers. These men are not just eye candy; they play pivotal roles in a dangerous game of power and attraction. Josie must learn to harness her strength, confront hidden enemies, and balance the intense chemistry with the dominant males who surround her. Her journey is one of self-discovery, resilience, and undeniable passion. This book is a thrilling blend of romance, suspense, and supernatural elements, perfect for readers who crave a story that's as hot as it is heart-pounding. Prepare for mature themes and explicit scenes that will leave you breathless. Join Josie as she embarks on an adventure that will challenge her, change her, and ignite a flame within her that burns brighter than she ever imagined. This story contains explicit group scenes including some bxb.