jokes about 69

A retelling of several of the most famous fairy tales with a kinky, dirty twist. Each story is about 30,000 words so sit back, grab some holy water and relax! It's time to sink in 10 deliciously dark and twisted fairytales! Highly erotic and brimming with dark desires, don't say I didn't warn ya! 18+ Dark Fairytale Series Rumpled (Retelling of Rumplestiltskin) Sinderella (Retelling of Cinderella) Allissa in Wankerland (Retelling of Alice In Wonderland) Friends With Sexy Benefits (Retelling of Hansel and Gretel) Snow White and the Seven Hunks (Retelling of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs) Red (Retelling of Little Red Riding Hood) Tangled (Retelling of Rapunzel) Bella and the Beast (Beauty and The Beast) Maid For Pleasure (The Ugly Duckling) Goldilocks and the 3 Were-bears (Goldilocks)

Abducted on her wedding day by a mysterious man who claimed she was his soul mate, Emma was thrust into an unknown world where nothing including her now growing attraction towards her captor make sense. Deciding she wasn't going to be a prisoner, she sought ways to escape but her captor wouldn't give her a chance. When the truth about her identity came to light, Emma was torn on who to trust, those who she had known all her life or her captor who was bent on claiming her.

Nueva Winter is a regular teenage girl. After getting asked out on a date by the hottest guy in her school, she believes life is about to get as good as it gets. But the date turns disastrous when Nueva gets attacked and bitten by an enormous dog-like animal. If that wasn't bad enough, her date leaves her abruptly without explanation directly after the attack. This event throws Nueva into an unknown world of werewolves, Banshees, and strange magic when an old legend speaks of the powerful Ice wolf, a white beast dormant inside Nueva's human body. Alpha Gray of the White Creek pack is so confident that she is the key to breaking the Alpha's curse that's robbed him of a mate-bond that he kidnaps her and brings her to his pack. There she has to learn how to defend herself and unlock the potentials hidden within. All while trying to survive the growing number of Rogues attacking and attempting to take over the White Creek pack by eliminating anything standing in their way. But can the human girl with the Ice Wolf break the curse and restore the power and strength to this weakening pack? And, when the time comes, will Alpha Gray be willing to let her go after he develops strong feelings for her despite the missing mate-bond, knowing he will send her to certain death.

"Tell me how do you want me to make it up to you??" I asked, putting myself at risk by asking the big bad alpha wolf that question. "I'm not simply interested in having sex with you," He smiled and came closer, running his finger up my neck, "I want to experience everything with you." "How about not wearing any clothing whenever we are alone in this mansion?" I gasped in shock as he murmured into my face. (Content/ Trig*er Warning: The following read consists of extreme profanity, violence, or gore. Subjects like SA and abuse are briefly discussed that might be difficult for some to read)

BOOK THREE of COALESCENCE OF THE FIVE: After a bitter betrayal, he refuses to trust hunters, but a certain huntress catches his eye... Greg Claw's bonded mate did the unthinkable, conspiring against him and his family during their time together, so she was punished with death. Now he knows never to trust a hunter. This includes the newly appointed Chief Octopus, Sushmita. But the more he's around her, the more intrigued he gets. The longer they work together, the more he can't deny the connection growing between them. It's not a bond, but there's certainly something. Sushmita has her own secrets and motives for everything she does, and choosing this profession is no exception. Greg finds himself caring about her… for her. When her former lover waltzes in, Greg wonders if this ex is what stands between him and Sushmita. One thing's for sure, with threats pressing in close, danger lurking in the shadows, and things not appearing to be what they seem, Greg has to do everything within reach and beyond to protect everything and everyone he holds dear, which - oddly - includes her. *** BOOK ONE: The 5-Time Rejected Gamma & the Lycan King BOOK TWO: The Rogues Who Went Rogue

"So many promises, so many dreams. They all broke today," his voice resonated. "Your promise of loving me till the last breath of your life, your dream of becoming my wife and giving birth to my children….they all are shattering today, princesa," tears rolled down from her eyes at his words which made him wrap his arm around her waist. "Ssh …. don't cry. Maybe not love but I do feel sympathy for your tears as I had been living with you for so many days," he uttered while wiping her tears with his knuckles. "Besides, I am not that heartless so let's ease up your heartbreak a bit. Okay?" He uttered. "So not in front of this world but I can please you like a husband pleases his wife behind closed doors and…." He thrusted his face closer to hers. "On my bed…. just like last night where you let me devour every inch of your skin, princesa," She teared up more because that was the truth. She had actually surrendered her everything to him last night. Her heart, her soul, her body…. everything to him with no shield last night. She gave him the virtue of her body but only to let him taint it with his sin which she was believing as his love. Feeling him wrapping his arm more firmly around her waist, she found him untying the knot of her night robe. "So, how about I make you forget about your heartbreak by taking you to my bed?" he rasped in her ear, completely untying her night robe and his next words crushed her soul cruelly. "As I am sure that would be the best way to cure the pain of a prostitute's daughter and her deceitful love,"

Because of Zara’s excessive drunkenness, she accidentally had a One Night Stand with the man she had always been dreaming about – Lucas Blackwood. Unfortunately, Lucas despised Zara for spreading her legs and threatened her after ruining his relationship with a long-time fiancée.Things became more complicated when Zara became and Lucas was forced to marry her. After the marriage, Lucas made sure to punish Zara for ruining his life.It’s a loveless marriage but as soon as Zara asked for a divorce, Lucas realized that the woman has earned a place in his heart. He became possessive to his soon-to-be ex-wife, and their loveless marriage turned into a beautiful love story.

(Completed) Everything about him was meant to draw me in. His endless grey eyes, his broad shoulders, and a scent that a girl could get used to. His accent lingers in my head like a siren's call I can't refuse... but I already have a mate... and my mate? He's dangerous. Someone I shouldn't want, and yet his scent keeps sending me back into his arms. **This 4 book series is COMPLETE – Reading order: 1-Timber Alpha (ch1-86), 2-Mated to Brianna, 3-Mylo (Timber Alpha ch89-172), 4-Alpha Heirs

I looked at the naked stranger lying asleep beside me. Lightning flickered, illuminating his muscular body only in glimpses. He was covered in mud and blood, and though in human form now, he still looked wild and monstrous. I’d never found myself lying beside any naked man before in my life. He pulled at my clothes, and I let him rip them off. The thunder came closer, booming right overhead. We kissed with a frantic passion and grasped at every inch of each other. One of the only normal human girls at the Werewolf Noble Academy, I was at the bottom of the social order from the start. But even worse than that, just about everyone at school picked on me for being fat. One day I slept with a stranger in an accident. He is the second prince of the werewolf world, and wants to marry me!

Important Notice: This book isn't incest, the synopsis below is just a plot twist. Being in bed with her father was all she yearned for. She would always get mad each time she caught a glimpse of any lady chatting with her dad. This feeling had to stop, she was lusting after her dad. There are many guys out there, trying their logical best to seize her attention for she was a beauty to behold, but all she wanted was her dad, her dad alone. She always wished for her mom to always be on business trips, so she would have all the time with her hottie dad. It started as a mere attraction, a mere attraction from a daughter to her dad, but what started as a mere attraction became lust, pure lust. Daniella is the only child of her parents, her mom was always on business trips so she hardly took care of her only child. This made her grow fond of her young and super hot dad while growing up. Both father and daughter fell in love with each other, but each of them tried to conceal their feelings for one another. However, such feelings of lust couldn't be hidden for long, such feelings of cravings couldn't be held back. Would Daniella and her dad get to stop the taboo they were about to engage in? Would the lust between them turn to love? What would happen when Daniella found out that the man she’d always believed was her father was not her real father? In fact, he's nowhere close to being her father. Would she continue loving this man or their love become devastated and Liam wouldn't be able to fight for his love? Read to get all the answers!