french jokes

"What would you be needing my help for?" I asked, curious. "Do you remember those times when we were little…whenever I do something wrong in our class, you always come forward pretending to be me and receive my punishment?" He asked, and I hummed in agreement. "And do you remember those times when I couldn't read for any exams and I was scared to fail, you would pretend to be me and write the exams for both of us and no one knew because we were so identical?" "Yeah, but where are you heading with all of this?" "I want you to do the same thing for me again." Nolan said, getting me more confused. "What exactly is it for you?" "I want you to pretend to be me and get married to Savannah, it will only be for some time till i'm really ready to face the responsibility of marriage." He said. I burst out laughing so hard that my stomach hurts. What he just said sounded so funny, he is really good at making jokes. "What's funny?" "Sor…Sorry, your jokes are just so funny." I said, trying to control my laughter. "What joke? This is no joke Nate, I am being serious. Think of it as a substitute, you will substitute for me till i'm ready." He said, looking all serious. He wasn't joking. He has gone mad!

Prisca, alias Prisca Ese Gideon, is a fast-rising diva who gets into trouble after photos and videos of herself being intimate with her boyfriend gets leaked on the internet. Her fame and success in the music industry begins to crumble. Her family dissociates from her, she loses many big money endorsement deals, and worse of all, she loses her fan base. The public now sees her as a sex object, making fun and dirty jokes about her. Due to these actions, she isolates herself from the public, vowing to herself never to speak to anyone or have a personal relationship with any person in particular. Months after her rock-bottom escapades, she finds love in the hands of a die-hard fan, Diri, who helps her get back at her boyfriend, Clem (sound engineer of S.K. records, the same record label Prisca was signed into) and helps her get over her rock bottom experiences.

The story of 'EVERY WOMAN CANNOT BE PRETTY' is a message to millions of women around the world who feel inferior due to their average looks that ‘ Beauty is not in the face alone.’ The protagonist in this story, Sarah Liam suffers from PCOS ( Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) with side effects of being obese, acne prone and having more than normal hair growth on face and body. To top it she is short in height and has a prominent mole on her chin. In all, she is not what one can call “pretty”. Her husband wants to use her as a sex toy, her best friend betrays her trust by sleeping with her husband. Faced with treachery by loved ones, shunned by many, at the brunt of the unkindest of jokes, the story shows how Sarah manages to rise like a Phoenix, hold her head high and eke revenge on the people who have cheated her, solely with the strength of her talent and grit. But with her flawed appearance, will she ever find true love? Can she ever aspire to marry a handsome man or will she have to settle for someone similarly flawed? Read on..

FIRST BOOK OF MAFIA GODDESS SERIES Athena dela Croix Veilleux, the youngest daughter of Veilleux mafia clan, known for being a loner, calm-tempered woman with a strong personality that can make everyone intimidated by her. She was the most outstanding student in her class, and she has a reputation to protect as a class representative that's why she wasn't interested to have friends to hangout with. Studying hard, practice gun shooting, and to enter the military -- all of these just to please her dad who was actually a French mafia boss. All too well until she met Zachariel Morrison, popularly known as Zach, the transfer student in their class and the idol superstar.

Tatiana was only seventeen years old when she forced to go to France by her father after her mother was murdered and her grandfather fell into comatose condition. After 12 years, Tatiana has become a strong and intelligent Captain of Special Operations Unit of French Armed Forces. She acts tough and arrogant but hides her kindness and suffering over her mother’s death,and her dark past caused by the syndicate who abducted her. After returning to the Philippines to have a vacation with a covert mission ordered by their General, Tatiana starts to execute her exciting and thrilling vengeance to annoy the five members of her family. As she follows her first stepbrother who enters the church, she meets Elias Gentry who is also a house boy in their mansion. He a naive man who has a lot of part-time jobs in order to earn money that he wants to give to his family before he enters the seminary. His family doesn’t like his dream of becoming a priest. But he really wants to pursue his ten-year dream because of his love for God. As Tatiana falls in love with him, she discovers the truth behind her mother’s death and her grandfather’s condition. She cleverly makes her mark in the history as she put her own family to jail that surprised the whole country. By giving her right drops of divine to overcome brokenness, Elias makes Tatiana step out of the darkness. But because she broke rules, Tatiana was forced to go back to France to face her punishment under the military law. Elias is left heartbroken but still manages to cling onto her promises. By the grace of the Lord, He brings them back together after a year and continues their divine story.

He's the rich, handsome, ruthless alpha heir who wouldn't even spare her a glance. And she’s the girl who secretly crushed on him for years. Azaria Brooke had spent years crushing on her best friend’s older brother Nicholas Sinclair, the pack’s alpha heir. He was a well-known bad boy she-wolves wanted. He lived life on his terms, breaking hearts and rules alike but he had never looked her way. Nicholas on the other had known Azaria was his mate since the moment he caught her scent. But mating means weakness, and weakness has no place in his world. He’s spent years denying the bond, ignoring the fire that burns every time she’s near. He had his reasons and they were valid. Until the night she was attacked. He must choose: break every rule he’s ever set for himself, or risk losing her forever. But then again Azaria was furious. How could he keep this from her when he knew she was the butt of jokes in the Pack? She had refused to forgive him. Now will she forgive him and accept his proposal for a quick marriage to find secrets surrounding her birth and about the woman she calls her mother, who is now a terror in the whole of lycanthropy or will she listen to her Best friend who says her brother is no good for her.

Roxanne Rowan is a spiritual news editor. After an accident in the year twenty-two, Roxanne Rowan was able to see ghosts. She goes around trying to find a way to solve this ability. Her fear of ghosts makes her taciturn and closed off. During an encounter with evil spirits, Roxanne met Egan Griffith, the demon employee of hell. He has the task of catching the demons that are causing trouble in the living world to bring them to hell and punish them. According to the orders of the spirit world, if Roxanne wants to break the ability to see ghosts in her eyes, she must cooperate with Egan to catch the devil spirits. The contract is signed and many bad jokes happen. Roxanne's fate and secret are also revealed. She also realizes that demons come in two forms: disrupting people in the living world and trying to earn money in order to survive like a normal person. Every night, Roxanne has to lie in bed waiting for Egan to finish processing the documents for the company. She doesn’t think from an unequal partnership to rolling in bed so close together.

Lily Maxwell, a young, bright, beautiful, French girl. She has nothing but works hard to have enough. She won a scholarship to study in the best University in Los Angeles. Thomas Anderson, the only surviving son of a multi-billionaire family in Los Angeles who only has his emotionless but independent mom who wants him to marry a daughter of another multi billionaire family in L.A Fate brought Tommy and Lily together. They fell in love and in the third year, Lily got pregnant which threatened the academic life of both Tommy and Lily. "I'm sure you know me so I'll just go straight to the point. You have just two options" the woman In black said in a limousine with a face showing zero emotion. "You take that money" pointed to the briefcase beside Lily, abort the pregnancy and have it in mind that as of now my son doesn't exist to you or you do what you want and risk your life and that of everyone that has ever come close to you" Mrs. Anderson threatened. "I believe this is Tommy's life. And we both have the right to decide what we want without interference from anyone" Lily defended with confidence. "This is what Tommy wants. Trust me. But if you want proof, you shall have it" Mrs Anderson dialed Tommy's number and.. "She took the money didn't she?...Hope you didn't forget to tell her to abort the Baby to avoid future connection" Tommy said over the phone And that was it. Lily lost it all to love and the Andersons. Her social, love and academic life, all gone. She vowed to come back for the Andersons' downfall when it is VENGEANCE HOUR.

Victoire, a charming French maid, is discovered by Nick in the glittering aristocratic world. Their mystery experiences light an illegal energy that challenges social limits. Yet, when their adoration is uncovered, outrage takes steps to obliterate them. Will they fight for their forbidden love or give in to the pressure of society? As murmurs reverberation through the corridors of high society, a stunning disclosure shakes their reality. Their love's fate is precariously in the balance as betrayal lurks in the shadows. In a test of skill and endurance, Scratch and Victoire should choose — will they penance everything for an opportunity at genuine joy? The response lies in a solitary, heart-halting second, where predetermination pauses its breathing.

To fulfill his sister's birthday wish, Anthony - a billionaire CEO who loves privacy perfection and orderliness - has to accommodate Vivian, a stubborn lady who doesn't care about details and is used to chaos. They start out as enemies, fighting over every little thing but they have no choice - Anthony has to fulfill his sister's birthday wish, and Vivian has nowhere to go as her parents sent her packing. Slowly, they begin to see the good in each other, and that they aren't all that bad after all. From small talks and jokes, they progress to filling in as dates for the other, until they fall in love. But Vivian didn't disclose everything about her reason for being disowned and sent away by her parents, Until her past and her arranged husband begins to haunt her. Will their love stand the test of time? Only one way to find out!