food jokes

She is a free spirit, trapped in a bird cage of death, danger and despair. Little Alessa has always known one thing above all- she was born to be the perfect Principessa of the Cosa Nostra, the Italian Mafia. She was urged to smile when asked to, laugh even when the jokes were anything but funny, charming to all who were allies. She was perfection incarnate...well, that's what they think. They know nothing of her wild abandon, of her plans to be anything but the perfect princess, royalty of a world dredged so deep in blood, she choked on it. Her plans to run were absolute...well, until HE came along. The mysterious Pakan-a Don like her father- shielded by the shadows that he ruled from. He was the anomaly that she least expected. He destroyed her plans and she hated him for it. So why then does her heart beat so fast when he is near? Why is he the one she thinks about before she sleeps? Why does she so long to see him when she's sad? She wanted the freedom, the life beyond the shadows and explore the world. But Emerald colored eyes, cocky smirks, rough hands, cigarettes and darkness were starting to look a little more appealing...

The day before Henry Baker and I are supposed to marry, my mother sedates me. She makes my twin sister marry Henry instead. A few years later, the company Henry established turns into a thriving empire. My sister, Diana Halliwell, flourishes with him. While I was at the lowest point in my life, my childhood friend, Jorge Ward, proposed. It's only after marriage that I realize he's worthless. Diana and Henry attend various parties. They enjoy delicious food and wear expensive clothes. Meanwhile, I end up exhausted after having to cook and clean for my family. One night, Mom speaks softly to Jorge when she thinks I've fallen asleep. "I was worried she would find out the truth about what happened back then, but it seems she's too dumb to notice anything." Jorge laughs. "You're a genius, Erica. You laced Laura's water with sleeping pills so Diana could marry Henry on her behalf. I'm glad to see how happy Diana is now." Mom sighs. "I just feel bad for you. You've always liked Diana, yet you're forced to live with a wash-out like Laura…"

Young Immanuel Gonzales roamed the streets at age seven. His mother died when he was three years old, while his father was accused of killing his co-worker at a construction site. His relatives did not bother to take him but instead, made a vagabond out of him. Hungry and tired, he met a young girl who gave him food to eat. He was grateful and told himself that someday he would show his appreciation for the good deeds done to him. Living alone, he had encountered lots who had hurt him, but he continued to live came one person who had helped him finish his studies and he became a lawyer. One rainy night, he helped a woman who got scared from a homeless person. The first time they met, both felt that there was something that would bind them together which would make or break them apart. He was a lawyer who came from a poor family, handsome and smart, whose father was a victim of injustice....and she, a rich and pretty heiress, who had been engaged to be married to a wealthy person. Both fell into the abyss of deep affection....a love that caused them to be apart...living their lives with regret and loneliness

Diana Charlotte is a strange and mysterious woman who was forced to be brought by Albert Valentino to serve as food for his Master, Raizel Harrison de Haltz who is a leader of a vampire clan named Haltz. Diana is a brave girl and is not afraid of anything, even if it is Raizel who is the strongest vampire. When the moment of her death was about to arrive, Diana remained calm, and still had time to stare at Raizel's blood-red irises with her blue irises. After her blood was sucked out, Diana should be dead. However, whether this was called a miracle or an oddity, Diana's heart was still beating even though it was very weak.

The end of the world was upon us, but there weren't enough spots for evacuation. The roars of the zombies echoed in my ears as my fiancé, Oliver, gritted his teeth and pulled me onto the rescue vehicle—securing the last available seat. I arrived safely at the survivor base. Lina, his first love, did not. The zombies tore her apart. Oliver still went through with our marriage, but I never expected that he had only done so to make me suffer. In his eyes, I was the one who had killed Lina. If she had to endure such agony, then I should, too. For five years, he hated me. My life was worse than that of a stray dog scavenging for food on the street. On the day my divorce was finalized, he kidnapped me, dragged me into the wilderness, and wrapped his fingers around my throat. Then, he threw us both into the swarm of the undead. When I opened my eyes again, I was somehow reborn on the day the apocalypse began. The rescue team was shouting impatiently, "One more! We have room for one more—hurry!" I turned to Oliver, watching his hesitation. Then, with a quiet smile, I took a step back and let someone else have the last seat.

Angela currently plunges into poverty that forces her to went into prostitution where she sells her body to keep her two younger siblings alive, paying their school fees and put food on their table at least twice a day. Despite experiencing the whip of life, she didn't lose hope. She believes one day she will be freed from prostitution, she will feel loved, respected and cared for. She still believes there's someone who will come to hold her hand and help her to get out of the mud. And the person who's going to save her is her childhood friend who went abroad to study way back seven years ago. What if her childhood friend came back all of the sudden? Is she will going to reveal her secret as a prostitute just to make her save by him? Or hide it just to make her man stay in her life? Is it possible for a prostitute like her to have a happy ever after to a knight shimmering shining armor like in books and fairytales? Let's find out in Magda.

For centuries, hundreds of wars raged between wolves and Lycans. Wolves fought, and became the dominant species. As a result, the Lycans had to retaliate to survive and needed mates to save their kind. THEY NEED SHE-WOLVES TO BECOME THEIR BREEDER. And here my kind comes who were destined to live in this discipline until they died in return for food and protection. The worst thing was my people were never treated as pack members nor counted as rogues. WE WERE CALLED AS PARAMOURS- THE PLEASURE PROVIDER. But everything was an illusion for me because I didn't know I was a wolf or more until I MET HIM. Mystery beneath his skin, and the havoc he carried in his eyes, reading me like he came from the darkness to get me only. I am Savannah, and I never knew I was his MOON- CALLED- POSSESSION.

The Rogue King disguises himself as a food delivery person to assassinate my mate—Lucas Wolfgang, the Alpha of Moonbane pack. It's Valentine's day, but Lucas is spending it with his childhood sweetheart. When the Rogue King's assassination fails, he threatens me with my daughter Tina and forces me to ingest wolfsbane. I speak to him to drag things out while contacting Lucas through our mind-link. "Lucas, Tina and I need you…" However, Lucas has cut off our mind-link. He doesn't respond, and I have no choice but to take the wolfsbane. Before the Rogue King leaves, he mocks me for being a failure. I'm the Luna of Moonbane pack, yet I don't have my husband's heart. Tina calls Lucas. "Come home, Daddy! Mommy's bleeding everywhere!" He merely says coldly, "I've told you this many times, Tina. Stop being a liar like your mother!" I've never lied to him, and neither has Tina. Ultimately, he kneels before my grave in tears, looking like a poor little puppy. He begs me not to abandon him.

My neighbors across the hall had a nasty habit of stealing. This included my food deliveries, my shoes from the cabinet, and even my clothes drying on the rooftop. Nothing was safe from them. I had enough. One day, I placed a pair of shoes borrowed from my friend, who was battling an extreme case of athlete’s foot, outside my door. Not long after they stole them, they came banging on my door in the middle of the night, furious about the outbreak on their feet. They even filed a complaint at the hospital where I work. I was so furious that I invited a few homeless patients to move in. A muscular man with HIV, an elderly woman with syphilis, and a young man with severe mental health issues became their new neighbors. The thieves could not handle it and begged the landlord to evict them. However, the joke was on them. My family owned the entire building. If anyone was leaving, it certainly was not me.

By year four of our marriage, Scott had picked up a college girl—Gigi. Bright, beautiful, full of life. She had him, a billionaire, eating street food and chasing after her favorite esports player. Scott called. "Not coming home. Watching Joel Arnoult's match." Beside him, Gigi scoffed. "That boring old woman—does she even know who Joel Arnoult is?" They had no clue. The second the call ended, Joel had me pinned in the back of a dimly lit car. His teeth grazed my neck—sharp, teasing, a little painful. "Leila, if I win, how are you gonna reward me?"