filipino jokes one liner

Suddenly Zeva Adelia, a freelance photographer, got a client who expressed his interest in her after spending a day together on the first day they met. However, without clarifying what their relationship was and only introducing his name as Zero, the next day Zero immediately returned to his country. He left only a trail of his handmade sketch of Zeva's face and a tiny letter asking Zeva to keep her heart's loyalty to him only. Strangely enough, by only communicating via chat, even without video or phone calls, Zeva feels that Zero has succeeded in conquering her heart. Then, can Zeva undergo a status-less relationship and a long-distance relationship with Zero? How long can Zeva endure waiting for Zero to come back for her? Also, how much does Zeva trust Zero's loyalty to her, when there's another girl like 24/7 beside Zero?

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas which would be great, if I wasn’t carrying the one-night stand's baby! I thought that I was dying and decided to lose my virginity to a stranger. One that didn't know my name. One that wouldn't ask any questions. And I found him, and we spent one hot night in Vegas. I go home and find out that it was all a mistake. I'm going to live and can get on with my life. There's just one problem. I'm pregnant, and the only thing I know about my one-night stand is how he feels smells and tastes. I don't even know his first name. Help!

Ang gusto lang naman ni Aira ay makaahon sa hirap kaya ginawa niya ang lahat para makahanap ng disenteng trabaho. But then destiny has its plan because when she was applying as a maintenance staff in a millionaire's company, she was offered to be a surrogate mother to his unborn son. That's when her life entangled with a complicated family.

Jostein De Vere and Caleb Rothschild are one of the elite class German business executives in the Philippines. They dominate the entire economy and make them one of the monopoly oligarchs in the country. Jostein De Vere is a kind of gentleman. Same as Caleb but he is a bisexual, when the naughty Jostein wants the only daughter of Mr. Alfredo Monteverde, he abducted its service after the grand party held at Caleb's mansion. The cousins are so powerful that it makes Mr. Alfredo down to his agony; after seeing his only Daughter Keesha Monteverde with Jostein De Vere at his place. Alberto Martinez is a Spanish-Filipino butler of Mr. Alfredo. His mission is to spy inside the company. Save and expose the secrets of the silver void organization ruled by Jostein and Caleb. However, when doing his research and spying from them. Alberto slowly discovers the dark secrets of the place where he meets Caleb Rothschild. Little by little falling in love with him.  Will he expose the dark secret of the organization? To rescue Keesha Monteverde and fulfill his mission; that he promised to her father. Or to locked in the place where it is heaven created by the cousins?

Playing heroine will also lead to disaster. Iyan ang napagtanto ni Freni when she presented to gather information about Starry, the mysterious guy in their campus. Kung hindi kasi niya gagawin iyon, ipagkakalat ni Mercy ang sex video ng kaibigan niyang si Lilac. Wala talagang maidudulot ang pag-stalk dahil sa una pa lang pala, nalaman na agad ng lalaki na sinusundan niya ito. Her life was at stake when she was brought to the kingdom of Ebrosirka. The Master of the kingdom told her she will only escape from the place kapag nahanap niya ang apat na bantay ng lagusan pabalik sa mundo ng mga tao. Now that her life was at stake, will she be able to succeed or will the Master of the kingdom will succeed in killing her?

"This is all your fault, so make your existence worth for once in your life and fix this!" Her aunt screeched at her. She let tears freely flow down from her face. It was all her fault, her mistake that her family had to suffer. "Aunty please, I will do anything to fix this." She begged. "Good, then prepare yourself, you are getting married." Blair Andrews had a seemingly perfect life until one day her determination let to the downfall of their business. Now she had only one way, to get married and save their company. But it wouldn't be easy with dangerous people on her tail.

WARNING: [R18] STORY WITH EXTREMELY MATURE/EXPLICIT CONTENT Si Alvin ay bahagi ng isang mapait subalit matamis na nakaraan ni Patricia na pinilit niyang takasan. Ito ay matapos ang maraming ulit niyang nagawang ipagkaloob ang sarili sa lalaki. Para siyang gamu-gamo na naakit sa kagandahan apoy at paghahangad na palaging ipinadarama sa kaniya ng binata, sa kabila iyon ng katotohanang alam niyang pwede siyang mapaso, at ganoon nga ang nangyari. Pero sa hindi inaasahan pagkakataon ay muling nagtagpo ang landas nila kung saan kinailangan niyang sumailalim sa mismong pamamahala nito. Si Alvin bilang kaniyang amo at siya bilang sekretarya ng binata. At sa pagkakataong ito, hindi niya maunawaan kung bakit palagi ay nakikita niya ang galit sa mga mata nito tuwing tititigan niya. Pero kailangan niya ng trabaho, kailangan niya ng pera dahil kailangan niyang bawiin ang anak niya, at sa tulong ni Caleb, alam niyang magagawa niyang paghigantihan ang pamilya ni Robert, ang asawa niya na umapi sa kaniya. At hindi iyon pwedeng malaman ni Alvin.

Blurb: One Night Stand “Kau sungguh bajingan, Victor!” Desis Mary, menatap pria bernama Victor itu dengan mata yang dipenuhi air mata. “Kau memperkosaku! Kau merenggut sesuatu yang bukan milikmu, keparat! Aku benci padamu!” Bibirnya bergetar saat melontarkan kalimat tersebut, sementara tangannya erat menahan selimut untuk menutupi tubuhnya yang polos, tanpa sehelai benang pun. *** Mary Popiens adalah seorang bartender di sebuah klub malam ternama di kota London. Malam itu, klub dipenuhi pengunjung, membuat para pelayan tampak sibuk. Dalam keadaan tersebut, Mary diminta tolong oleh sang manajer untuk mengantarkan minuman ke kamar VVIP. Di sanalah kehancuran hidup Mary dimulai. Alih-alih mengantar minuman lalu keluar, Mary justru terjebak bersama pria yang merupakan tangan kanan Bos Mafia di dalam kamar tersebut, yang tengah mabuk. Mary dipaksa sedemikian rupa, sehingga keduanya terjerumus dalam momen panas. Langkahnya yang lemah berayun pergi, diiringi isak tangis yang pilu. Baginya, perbuatan bejat Victor Marson semalaman adalah hal paling buruk dan memilukan yang pernah dialaminya sepanjang hidup. *** Kini, Victor, pria yang merupakan tangan kanan Bos Mafia itu, tak akan pernah melepaskan Mary, meskipun dia tahu Mary telah memiliki seorang kekasih—yang tak lain adalah keponakan dari Tuannya. Terlepas dari konsekuensi, Victor bersikeras untuk membawa Mary pergi, memisahkannya dari sang kekasih, tanpa peduli betapa Mary membencinya. Setelah disekap dan tinggal bersama Victor, akankah Mary menyerah untuk melupakan sang kekasih dan beralih mencintai Victor? Atau mungkin… dia akan berusaha pergi untuk selamanya, meninggalkan semuanya di belakang? ***

Seventeen year old Charlie hadn't had an easy life. At the age of ten she lost her mother to a drunk driver and now she was being raised by her father and step mother where her life was at risk daily.The opening of a new science block at school brings The Royals into her life, specifically Prince Alexander and Prince Max who reveal who Charlie really is or rather what she is.With both the Princes at her side, can Charlie conquer her fears and find true love

Ang masayang pagsasama ng mag-asawang Celeste at Elijah ay nabahiran ng pagdududa nang maramdaman ni Elijah na tila niloloko siya ni Celeste. Pagdududa na nauwi upang sumiping siya ng isang gabi kay Selena na isang estranghera. Ngunit nagsisi si Elijah nang malaman niya na mali siya ng hinala kay Celeste. Inakala ni Elijah na tapos na ang kabanata ng buhay niya kay Selena dahil one night stand lamang ang nangyari sa kanilang dalawa. Ngunit ganoon na lamang ang gulat niya nang malaman niya na lumipat si Selena ng bahay na malapit sa bahay nilang mag-asawa. Doon na nagsimula ang pamba-blackmail ni Selena upang makuha ang gusto nito sa kaniya. Si Elijah nga lang ba ang pakay ni Selena o meron pa siyang mas malalim na dahilan kaya nais niyang masira ang pagmamahalan nina Celeste at Elijah?