dirty adult jokes

During the year that changed my life, my high school homeroom teacher called me to the corridor and asked if I was the heroine of the dirty scandal that shook the whole school. “I know you’re here on a scholarship because of your family’s underprivileged background, but you can’t just do anything for money!” As everyone threw me strange looks, she continued smugly, “Don’t deny it. The mole on the girl’s neck is just like yours!” I calmly wiped off the ink stain on my skin, revealing my unblemished neck. My teacher turned red in the face. Unfortunately for her, I had been reborn. This time, I was not going to fall into the same traps.

I flinched as his breath fanned my face, my body trembled in his arms. This was the chance, but was I scared? His eyes affected me in so many ways, as they held grief, pain and regret. Our stare was our way of communicating. It was intended, emotional and agonizing. I was hiding the knife behind me, picturing the perfect place to stab him. His searing heat sent a gush of lust inside me. I shouldn't fall for that. This was a revenge plan, not a romantic show-off. "I'm engaged, and I have a child with him" I remembered, barely recognizing my cold voice which had become soft and weak. He let out a dirty smirk, lowering his eyes to my lips as we exchanged breath. "I know, but I can't stop myself from falling" he whispered, and before I could blink an eye, he captured my lips, twirling them to his taste. It was a long liquid kiss that made me wet so that I couldn't fight back. The knife slipped off my hand as my body yanked on his. We both dried up where we stood when her voice resounded in our ears. "Mom?"

He's the rich, handsome, ruthless alpha heir who wouldn't even spare her a glance. And she’s the girl who secretly crushed on him for years. Azaria Brooke had spent years crushing on her best friend’s older brother Nicholas Sinclair, the pack’s alpha heir. He was a well-known bad boy she-wolves wanted. He lived life on his terms, breaking hearts and rules alike but he had never looked her way. Nicholas on the other had known Azaria was his mate since the moment he caught her scent. But mating means weakness, and weakness has no place in his world. He’s spent years denying the bond, ignoring the fire that burns every time she’s near. He had his reasons and they were valid. Until the night she was attacked. He must choose: break every rule he’s ever set for himself, or risk losing her forever. But then again Azaria was furious. How could he keep this from her when he knew she was the butt of jokes in the Pack? She had refused to forgive him. Now will she forgive him and accept his proposal for a quick marriage to find secrets surrounding her birth and about the woman she calls her mother, who is now a terror in the whole of lycanthropy or will she listen to her Best friend who says her brother is no good for her.

Roxanne Rowan is a spiritual news editor. After an accident in the year twenty-two, Roxanne Rowan was able to see ghosts. She goes around trying to find a way to solve this ability. Her fear of ghosts makes her taciturn and closed off. During an encounter with evil spirits, Roxanne met Egan Griffith, the demon employee of hell. He has the task of catching the demons that are causing trouble in the living world to bring them to hell and punish them. According to the orders of the spirit world, if Roxanne wants to break the ability to see ghosts in her eyes, she must cooperate with Egan to catch the devil spirits. The contract is signed and many bad jokes happen. Roxanne's fate and secret are also revealed. She also realizes that demons come in two forms: disrupting people in the living world and trying to earn money in order to survive like a normal person. Every night, Roxanne has to lie in bed waiting for Egan to finish processing the documents for the company. She doesn’t think from an unequal partnership to rolling in bed so close together.

“Where is she?” “Where is Marianna Clarkson!” “Has anyone seen her!” The entire populace of the Crimson Moon Pack got thrown into confusion once the ruthless, unforgiving and callous Alpha Nickolas Cambridge began searching frantically for a mere wolfless, dirty, unwanted and disgusting commoner. Her name was Marianna - the only dirt in the Pack. Why? What prompted him into going on a desperate search for her? Where did Marianna run off too? She had endured the cruelty of the Pack for years, what could have made her run away? What could fate possibly have done to entwine the Alpha with a peasant?

Sebastian comes back from Alpha Academy with a darkness his parents can't ignore. It's not just typical teen troubles, it's something connected to Dietus, an ancient god from their past. He's overwhelmed, holding onto secrets that could disgrace his family and make him question who he really is. His best friend Ruby has always been different, with powers and striking purple eyes that scare people. She tries to live up to the high expectations of her royal werewolf family, but often falls short. Her life revolved around one close friend, a boy who always protected her. But when he returns from Alpha Academy, distant and troubled, she feels more alone than ever. Things shift when they meet two new people; Gabe, an Alpha with a mysterious past, and Hailey, a sweet girl who draws them into a deeper mystery. Together, they dig into the dark secrets of their parents' pasts, unleashing sinful betrayals and deceitful lust. Preview: "At first," he said, stepping closer, grabbing my underwear and tearing it away. "I thought you were some innocent child, just a prude and angry girl. Mmm, but now I see you." He lifted my leg around his arm, bending his knees to align himself right at my core, his intentions clear. "Yeah? And what am I?" I as his tip teased me. "A ," he chuckled, thrusting into me with a force. My jaw dropped, and I cried out, overwhelmed by the raw sensation. "You're tight for a little ." He growled, pulling out and ramming hard back inside me. He pounded into me, taking me dirty against the brick wall. His eyes watched me, black as night and filled with anger. "! Don't stop!" I screamed, my nails digging into his shoulders. He felt so amazing.

Opposites attract in this sexy South Beach new adult romance From the moment party planner Adam Beller locks eyes with sexy Cuban-American builder Javier Marisco at a Miami Beach Publix, sparks fly. Though they come from different worlds, neither can resist the immediate, magnetic pull between them. Over stargazer lilies and passionate lovemaking, Adam and Javier fall hard and fast. But their relationship is soon tested by the shadows hanging over Javier's life - his traditional Latin background that makes him fearful of living as an out gay man, family tensions, and the shady business dealings of Adam's biggest client. To build a future together, carefree Adam must learn to knuckle down and fight for what matters most, while reserved Javier must find the courage to step fully into the light. Watching these opposites attract, grow, and find their way will keep you breathlessly turning pages. Funny, sexy, heartfelt and engaging, Mi Amor follows Adam and Javier on an emotional rollercoaster ride from South Beach to New Jersey and back again, as they learn to balance their differences, face their fears, and commit to a life together. If you love a steamy yet substantial m/m romance, pick up this satisfying standalone novel from Neil S. Plakcy.

"Oh, Daddy it feels so good." Catherine moaned pushing her lower body further to meet his rhythm. She was bending on all fours by her elbows and knees. "Spread your legs wider princess so Daddy can go deeper, where you will see the stars," he grasped her shoulder and made her arch her back towards him. "Why does it feel so good Daddy?" she asked in her innocent yet playful voice. "When I am done teaching you everything then you will feel far better than this baby," he replied as he pounded faster in her. "Then teach me, Daddy," she moaned taking in the pleasure her Daddy was giving her. Archer Mendez, the former superstar of the adult film industry decided to adopt an orphan girl to fix his reputation in the business world. But to his surprise, he felt a forbidden attraction for his adoptive daughter that he never wanted to feel. What will happen when his new princess also feels the same attraction to him? Will he give in to this temptation?

Set up to break her bond with her Alpha mate after the Lycan King passed a decree that no alpha was allowed to reject or break off their bonds with their mates unless the mates did it themselves, Ellie Fowler could hardly believe her luck when by some strange fate, she's immediately bonded to the Lycan King himself, who now thinks she's nothing but a disloyal mate and worse, an Omega. Lycan King, Archer Daalmans, has a year to find his mate to prevent him from losing his strength or worse, dying, and he is determined to find her only for that reason. However, he is disappointed to find his mate is a dirty Omega who doesn't know her place, and he wants nothing to do with her, but he can't seem to keep his eyes off her or stop himself from protecting her.

Life can be cruel. One moment you’re on the verge of reaching the peak of your career, your sweetheart of five years finally down on one knee, promising forever. The next, your world burns to ashes—literally. Now, I’m not just a prisoner; I’m the plaything of the most feared man in the country. I told myself I hated him, that I’d never break. But what kind of woman starts to crave the way he owns her body, the way his touch sets her on fire? How do you survive when the man who owns you is as ruthless as he is captivating? How do you escape a man who makes you question everything, even your sanity? ————- When her father’s PTSD causes a catastrophic accident, Lucia Castellano finds herself at the mercy of Dante Romano, a man whose name strikes fear into the heart of Chicago’s criminal underworld. Taken as a slave to pay for her father’s alleged crime, Lucia is thrust into a world of power and seduction she never imagined. Dante’s command is absolute, his touch both punishing and intoxicating. What starts as a fight for survival soon turns into a dangerous game of submission and trust. But as secrets surface and enemies close in, Lucia and Dante must confront their darkest fears to find freedom—and perhaps love—in the most unlikely of places. AUTHOR’S NOTE: This book contains explicit content, strong language, violence, and other adult themes that may be disturbing to some readers. Reader discretion is advised.