dirty adult jokes

"What would you be needing my help for?" I asked, curious. "Do you remember those times when we were little…whenever I do something wrong in our class, you always come forward pretending to be me and receive my punishment?" He asked, and I hummed in agreement. "And do you remember those times when I couldn't read for any exams and I was scared to fail, you would pretend to be me and write the exams for both of us and no one knew because we were so identical?" "Yeah, but where are you heading with all of this?" "I want you to do the same thing for me again." Nolan said, getting me more confused. "What exactly is it for you?" "I want you to pretend to be me and get married to Savannah, it will only be for some time till i'm really ready to face the responsibility of marriage." He said. I burst out laughing so hard that my stomach hurts. What he just said sounded so funny, he is really good at making jokes. "What's funny?" "Sor…Sorry, your jokes are just so funny." I said, trying to control my laughter. "What joke? This is no joke Nate, I am being serious. Think of it as a substitute, you will substitute for me till i'm ready." He said, looking all serious. He wasn't joking. He has gone mad!

WARNING: 18+ EROTIC Anastasia used to be her Father's favorite, until the day of her wedding to Alpha Damian of Wolf Blood Pack. The man she once called her mate, rejected her before the people by shaming her as well as her father, and revealing her dirty secret of being a nymphomaniac. Before the people, Damian chose Anastasia's step sister, Cassandra, as his future Luna, shattering poor Anna's heart. Out of shame, her father disowns and kicks her out of his home, not minding what happens to his daughter. Hurt, she seeks to make Damian listen to her cries and innocence, because she was never like this. She just woke up one fateful morning and realized her deepest desire to be touched. She had no answer to this sudden change in her, until she went to see Damian and overheard him, Cassandra, and her stepmother, talking about their involvement in making Anna the freak she is. Heartbroken, Anna cries and runs off to tell her father what she heard, only to be chased by Damian's guards, who were sent by Damian, who picked her scent. When she thought this was the end, a handsome man saves her from being caught, scaring the guards with just a look. Anna thought she was saved, not until she realized that her savior was the dangerous Alpha Diego, who is also a secret Mafia Lord in the underworld. She fears for her life but loses her senses at his feet when her condition kicks in. All she could do was drool over his body, picturing Diego making love to her on the hard ground. Unable to fight this disease, Anastasia did what no one would dare to do. Tempt the Alpha Lord.

Elisse Andres thought she had it all as the Luna of Clawstone pack until her Alpha husband, Harold Gutcheri, had used her so that he could take the position of the pack’s alpha. Feeling betrayed, followed by witnessing him cheated with another woman, Elisse’s whole world shattered. In her belief that her husband would come to regret if she would do everything to prove him she was more than enough to satisfy him in bed, however, it all became a nightmare as her sultry mistake leads to drunkenly sending her nude photos accidentally to the wrong man—and of all, her husband’s dangerously seductive Beta, Dominic Costales. Elisse’s life met a drastic change particularly when Dominic used her mistake to his advantage, and how Dominic reveals that he has no intention of keeping her dirty little secret without asking her something in return. With Dominic’s pursuit to entice Elisse deeper under his web, resisting Dominic’s pull had become too complicated for Elisse to accomplish, making Elisse got caught up in a risky game where Dominic dominates her entirely. Now trapped between her desire to avenge herself and their insatiable affair, Elisse now felt compelled to play with fire, and Dominic shall make her burn. “Let me fucking show you how it truly feels like to be wanted, Elisse.” Dominic said as he brushed his lips against my clit, enticing me to savor every moment and making me forget the fucking fact that I was actually about to make a forbidden affair to my husband’s most trusted beta.

These young girls are overwhelmed by complicated society, human relations, and accidents. What they faced are not only relationships but also the cruelty of the adult world. There are so many scumbags. Their boyfriends, husbands, and even their fathers may harm them. What should they do to survive? See how these young women will fight back. “I Am a Scorpio” Mark Yeager sent my private photos to his buddy. [Doesn't my girlfriend have a good figure?] The words were followed by two smug-looking emojis. His buddy replied: [I prefer women with flat chests.] I felt disgusted reading the message. Mark shrugged indifferently. "You are all women. Why are you afraid of her seeing your photo?" Yes, his buddy was a woman. I felt like an unreasonable and resentful woman. I had had enough. It was not something a Scorpio like me would do. This time, I did not want to put up with them anymore. “The Kiss of Karma” He blocked me with a fierce look and said, "So... Does what you said about being with me still hold up?" "Of course." I hugged Yorrance Sonic. "I really like you." I heard something falling to the ground with a bang as Yorrance waved to someone behind me. "Mom!" I turned around and saw my husband holding hands with a woman, whom Yorrance called "mom".

The story of 'EVERY WOMAN CANNOT BE PRETTY' is a message to millions of women around the world who feel inferior due to their average looks that ‘ Beauty is not in the face alone.’ The protagonist in this story, Sarah Liam suffers from PCOS ( Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) with side effects of being obese, acne prone and having more than normal hair growth on face and body. To top it she is short in height and has a prominent mole on her chin. In all, she is not what one can call “pretty”. Her husband wants to use her as a sex toy, her best friend betrays her trust by sleeping with her husband. Faced with treachery by loved ones, shunned by many, at the brunt of the unkindest of jokes, the story shows how Sarah manages to rise like a Phoenix, hold her head high and eke revenge on the people who have cheated her, solely with the strength of her talent and grit. But with her flawed appearance, will she ever find true love? Can she ever aspire to marry a handsome man or will she have to settle for someone similarly flawed? Read on..

It was tougher than she ever thought, it was more difficult than she ever imagined. All she wanted to do was to play with their hearts, but she is left with no choice than to choose one of them. She wasn't expecting such to happen, because she's just a young adult who was forced to find her mate. She did it with fear, with fear of being kicked out of the pack, playing with the hearts of three Lycans. It was dangerous, cause she had to risk a lot of things, and a lot of people. But had the picked one of them, the dearest and loving to her. Her dearest Lycan.

Sophia I have been cast from my pack, the alpha made his advances on me and I rejected them. My parents stayed. They chose the Alpha who tried to take what I didn't want to give from me. They are now dead to me. It really doesn't matter now. Sure, I could go live among the humans, but what could they have to offer me? Sigmund I left my pack years ago when I saw the corruption within. I am a lone wolf by choice, and an Alpha by birth. The fact that I walked away when I saw the corruption coming for me, should tell you how much I really tried to save it. The pack was trying to become a dirty pack. Well, they got what they wanted. I refuse to go lead them. What I will do, if I ever find a good group of loners, is lead them in a fight against the corrupt packs leading the world today. If only I could find any other loners out here...

Carmen White, a girl born as a wolf from the Oasis Pride pack, lived with her parents Murray and Elena with a luxurious lifestyle. She had gotten everything she wanted and was content with life until one situation changed it all. Her parents were very adamant to get her married to Ivan Hale, an alpha from the Blue Moon Pride Pack. Ivan who was Carmen’s childhood friend was also keen on marrying her despite numerous attempts of Carmen pleading him to cancel the wedding. Everything became even more complicated when Carmen got mesmerized by a human by the name of Brady Harper. Soon, things started to spark between Carmen and Brady until she soon realizes both Brady and Ivan are hiding a few dirty secrets from her Follow along to find out how Carmen unwraps the truth and whom Carmen’s true mate would turn out to be!

WARNING: Not suitable for young readers or sensitive minds. Some parts contain graphic sex scenes, adult language, and situations intended for mature readers only. TESSIMOND COUSINS SERIES #2 As an only child of the Fortezo family, Myca is set to marry the man of her choice at a party with her entire clan and distant relatives. She never believed that she would have a good life if she marries her male cousin from a distant relative as her family believed. So she ran away and hid on a private island. She thought fate would never play with her life again. She still believed that she could change her parents' decision if she stayed on that island for a few days. But she finds a stout man lying unconscious on the shore of her island whom she believes he has drowned. What if fate plays with their lives? What if Myca's simple admiration for the man turns into something else? What if this man marks her?

In her hope that real love would blossom free from the shadow of her wealthy and strong family background, Demi Perez had to subtly hide her own identity from her husband, Jeff Ortega. And for the past five years of marriage, all that she ever did was pour all that she has to offer into their marriage, only to be met with cold indifference—and divorce papers that would end things between them. With Demi’s beauty and brains along with her wealth, she had completely conquered the corporate world and made some great impressions everywhere she went, and that includes dominating the failing company of her ex-husband. And in just a year after her divorce, Demi came back powerful and famous. No longer was she the once naive ex-wife that Jeff left behind, because right now, Demi has once again reclaimed her status as the elite and powerful heiress of the Perez clan. “Do you really have to play this dirty game to take revenge on me, Demi?" her ex-husband asked at last. And Demi grinned with such seductive power. “Oh no, It’s not a game, Jeff. It’s just giving you the same doze of your own medicine.” she replied. But as their old flames rekindle, Jeff wasn’t sure if he still wanted retribution or if he wanted her back. While Demi, on the other hand, has to decide whether she would finish what she started, or risk her heart all over again.