dad jokes dirty

~Rina Zante Shunned, a half-caste omega and dirt-poor, I have gotten used to the dirty stares people throw my way. And even though I try to ignore the taunts, it’s impossible. Now, my mom has gotten a job as a maid in the alpha’s house. It is a big deal and I should be elated. I was but no longer. How can I when the alpha’s son, devilishly handsome Vincenzo has placed me on his bully list? He desires to bend me to his will. To be a puppet, a mere slave to slake his lust on. Try as I might to run far away from his cold smiles and wandering hands, I can’t. Trapped is what I am. ~Vincenzo Moreno They call me a beautiful bastard. Heartless. Ruthless. Wicked. I am and I'm out for her blood. Despite the fact that she is a nobody, my wolf still craves for her and I will do all I can to make her mine. Because, what I want, I get and I want her. To immerse myself in the innocent wreck that she is. If I should ruin her in the process then, so be it. After all, she is my possession, mia innocente bella.

Nora Baker is the Alpha's eldest daughter. Because her body and wolf are weak, Nora has to give up her position as Alpha to her step-sister. She was not allowed to die, despite her desire to do so, because her life was her step-sister's life. Her mate, who she had loved so far, betrayed her and chose her step-sister. After her mate rejected her, her dad asked her and her stepsister to swap mates. She has to accept her new mate, who is a rogue. When she can no longer bear the heartache, she decides to flee her pack in search of her new mate. No one suspected that the true identity of a rogue who was constantly degraded was the Alpha King of the pack that the entire pack feared the most.

“Xin,” Isabel calls sweetly when he enters her room. Maybe he had come to stay the night. It would be nice. She had always wanted to please him, to make him accept her and treat her as the wife that she was. But the man remains as cold as always. He does not say a word. Instead, he extends a document toward her. Confused, she takes a look, and tears form in her eyes when she realizes that it is a divorce agreement. His name is already signed. “You want us divorced? Did I do something wrong?“ she asks as a tear falls from her eyes. “Xin, we have been married for one year! Why are you doing this to me?“ But, as usual, he doesn't say a word. He turns around and walks away, as though she wasn't talking to him. “Keep dreaming! I am not signing this,” Isabel says, throwing it away. She had tried so much to be a good wife to him! However, when Isabel sees him with her, her heart goes numb. He has that smile on his face, one that Isabel had never seen before. She realizes that he was never hers to begin with. Crying, she goes back home, signs the divorce agreement, and leaves. … Two years later, “Wife, I missed you so much. Will you give me a kiss?“ Isabel looks behind her in confusion. “Is his wife here?“ She asks. “I am talking to you, Little Pie. Can I make it up to you? I was the stupidest person to let you leave,” Ewan Xin says. Will she give in to him even after she realizes that he is the villain who took away her dad's company? What about his hidden identity? Would she still want to associate with him?

"I don't want to be anyone's fucking Wife I have my whole life ahead of me How could you do this Dad," I said. "Natalia, you'll survive the man your marrying is a very successful businessman along with being the Don of the most feared Mafia." My father says"FUCKING LOMBARDI MAFIA YOUR NOT DOING THIS I KNOW MOM WON'T ALLOW IT," I yell."Watch your tone young lady and Your Mother is well aware and you will do this end of discussion." My father says."You will be meeting him tomorrow and I expect you to be on your best behavior after you guys meet you will be moving in with him on Tuesday your dismissed," He says waving his hand for me to leave. Natalia Esposito 23 years old young, single, beautiful, and Daughter of a Mafia leader. The Esposito Mafia. Natalia is a fierce girl. shes been through hell and back and has slowly recovered over the years. She has always liked being in control so when her father finds a way to gain even more power for his mafia he seizes it by doing an arranged marriage. When Natalia is informed she is not happy. Luca Lombardi 25 years old, Feared, Ruthless, Doesn't care what people think, hates almost everyone until he meets Natalia Esposito. When Luca finds out that he can't take over His mafia until he agrees to the arranged marriage his father agreed to. Luca agrees but had no plans to remain faithful to Natalia. How long do you think his one night stands will last? What will happen when the Devil Meets his match?

Catherine swallowed with her eyes closed and her lips slightly open, a moan escaped her lips when Lucas slid two fingers under her panties, "Lucas..." She moaned, lost in the sinful desire as her ex-boyfriend's dad moved his fingers against her rosy flesh... *************** Catherine, a young mother of two who came to the city with the hope of finding her twin's father only to be denied and deserted by him, found herself entangled in a forbidden web of craving. As the flame of passion ignites between her and the CEO, Lucas Leonard—her ex-boyfriend's father—their affair takes them on a journey of temptation and sinful desires.Struggling with society's judgment and their own inner desire, Catherine and Lucas must steer the treacherous judgemental waters of the society and either fight for their love or let it crumble especially when her ex-lover came back to claim her and the twins. Will their love withstand the dishonorable whispers, or will it crumble under the weight of societal expectations and her ex-lover's conspiracies to win her back?

Lena Clermont fell hard for her dad's friend, Andrew Rohan—twelve years older. The first time she saw him, he was all sharp suits and broad shoulders, effortlessly standing out. He smiled, patted her head, and handed her a princess dress. Fast forward to twenty. He got drugged at a banquet. She wore that same dress, offering herself as the cure.

Triple Threats -Strong Female Lead -Three scoundrels, Cough! Cuties on a mission. -Rebirth Interviewer, "If you and your husband's mistress are drowning, who would he save first?" Scarlett Tates scoffs, "That's a ridiculous question. I don't have the time to play such stupid games. In Fact, you've just reminded me to take swimming lessons." Dakota Asgrave frosts over, "Mrs Asgrave how can I be your prince charming if you don't spare me some opportunities? You, stop this interview! How dare you put bad thoughts into my wife's mind?! Isn't it hard enough that she is a prodigy in everything?!" Interviewer, "..." * * * Scarlett Tates, an overbearing aristocrat, didn't expect the cliche that happens in books to happen to her as well. Her fiance, whom she donated a kidney to, cheated on her with her senior step-sister. Distraught, she sought solace in alcohol and ended up sleeping with an unknown man! Strangely, after that steamy night she found herself, bloody and with a sickly baby girl in front of her parents' gates with no memory of what had happened or where she's been in the last 9 months! Over the next ten years, the once proud woman was chastised by the world, used and abused by her family, fiance and her once greatest hope of a love-filled life, her husband. What's worse she was separated from her daughter for five years! In the end, Scarlett died a miserable death of being run down by a car like an animal and made a wish in her last breath. It seemed God had finally noticed her when she opened her eyes, back five years in the past! After being given a second chance how will Scarlett take charge of her life? What truths might she discover on her way of becoming the next top doctor?

I felt his hot breath on my neck and moaned as his fingers expertly caressed my sensitive areas. Gasping for breath, I pulled him closer, and he reached up to meet my lips, our tongues dancing in bliss as he pulled me over and positioned me to straddle him. “Jaxon,” I breathed when we came up for air, but he hushed me and moved his finger over my lips.“You’re mine,” he growled. “Let me show you what you really need.”***I knew my dad was in debt to the mafia since I worked three jobs trying to pay off what he owed. But I didn’t expect it when he told me, “Sara, I’ve sold you,”–to the king of the underworld!The worst part is that the mafia king just happens to be my dad’s gorgeous best friend, Jaxon, who I’ve been lusting over for a long time. And now that he owns me, I’m feeling like this is so much deeper than lust, and I don’t know if this will break me….Owned by the Billionaire Mafia King is created by Scarlett Rossi, an eGlobal Creative Publishing signed author.

"Stop right there, Evan! You can't fool me." Grace stretched out her hands to the right and left, preventing her best friend from leaving. "I know you're hiding something." Evan crossed his arms over his chest. "Don't be so confident. And please, know your place. I have the power to replace you with anyone else." He leaned toward her and whispered to her ear. "Or, are you trying to seduce me? How much is your rate for one night?" Upon hearing it, Grace gave him a smack across the face. She was silent for a moment in disbelief. Tears started to roll down her cheeks. "You're so mean, Evan. I-hate-you," she said, heartbroken. She turned away from him without further ado. Evan teared up too, looking at his best friend leaving. "I'm sorry, Grace. I had to do it. We can't be together," he said weakly. Grace and Evan became best friends after he saved her and her mother following a traffic collision. Their friendship grew stronger for years until they became inseparably fond of each other. However, fate played jokes on them. They had to separate for years, lose contact and bury their dreams. When they finally reunited in the same workplace, everything was not the same as it used to be.

This was the greatest mistake I made. An unplanned pregnancy from a one-night stand. Right after losing my baby, the only soul I had on earth to comfort me, to adoption, I realized I'd made a great mistake, worse than engaging in a one-night stand. So I was determined to find her and take her back. So I became a nanny and got posted to take care of a little girl who had only Alpha daddies, no mother. It's however a great surprise to realize this girl looks pretty much like the baby I sold off in adoption. “Am I dreaming?” What? She looks so much like me, could this be a coincidence of what I just had in mind or she's– My daughter? It's at this point, I see seven hot men, all identical, same height and faces, muscular, hot and stepping out of the estate. Here is another mighty distraction. “Who are these?” I mutter, asking the little girl. “They are my daddies. Seven Alphas raised me up after the death of my mom. That's why I'm asking "why do I look so much like you?” As the confusion in me heightens, the seven Alphas are coming closer. It hits me deep to realize that they all have the same scent. My wolf, which has always been calm, immediately leaps up, growling so loud. What's really going on? “Mates! Mates!! Mates!!!” I hear my wolf leap and screaming. I need one man, not seven Alphas. How can all these cute, charming, young men be mates with such a lowly girl as I? I'm sure the moon goddess made a pretty big mistake by doing this.