My Brother's Best Friend

“Are you listening to me, Jaden?” No, not really. I stopped years ago. My father’s BMW grinds to a halt in front of my brother’s apartment building, or should I say my apartment building. God, this is going to suck. My freshman year of college, and I’m being forced to live with my older brother. Dad wants me to be safe. He says Adam can show me the ropes and make sure I’m hanging out with the right group of friends. If only that were the case. The truth is, I have no friends, and Dad wants to make sure I’ll be around other human beings instead of locking myself in my room with no social interaction. I'm sure others make it fine in life without being forced into social situations that make them uncomfortable. He won’t have anyone to watch over me if I stay in a dorm room. What’s he going to do pay my roommate to hang out with me? With my brother being a social butterfly, I’ll be exposed to people my age. What Dad forgets—or decides to ignore—is that I’m going to be surrounded by

My stomach feels nauseated and bile rises up my throat. My head presses against the side of the toilet, and I curl up like a snake. The sad thing is that I don’t know if I’m sick because I’m so nervous or if it’s because I vomit regularly from my medication. I’m surprised I didn’t see death on the warning label. She isn’t going to be there, I tell myself. She’s off to college in Florida—a long ways from Utah. Never to be heard from again … hopefully. And yet a huge cloud of despair hangs over me. I shouldn’t let my high-school experience ruin college, but I can’t stop myself from thinking what if? What if someone worse than Selena starts with me? What if my reputation has made it all the way to the university? What if I’m ostracized like before? I wouldn’t be surprised. It seems everyone knows about it. About my … past. My life. My issues. A burning lump travels up my throat, and I dry heave into the toilet. God, how pathetic. I barley slept last night. I laid in bed, staring at th

I’m wasted. My vision is blurry, my feet won’t stay still. Am I even moving them? I’m laughing hysterically at something, but I have no idea what it is. I had one too many beers tonight and my body feels numb. A great pain-free numb. It's a relief from the weight I carry around normally. My phone keeps vibrating in my pocket, but I press the ignore button. Or at least I think I do. Whoever it is can wait. My keys drop from my hand, and I stoop down to scoop them up. The bouncer yells something at me, but I wave as I get into my pickup and start the engine. I just need to get back to my apartment and go to sleep. I’m going to feel this tomorrow. I maybe young, but I'm not eighteen fresh out of college young anymore. Plus I can't remember the last time I drank like this. So this is what it feels like to get another year older. I take the back road toward the apartment building and drive ten miles per hour. I don’t have a death wish. I concentr

“I can’t come get you today. Eric is having surgery on his collarbone. Darn boy went and broke it in football. I wish I had girls,” Nancy sighs. Hearing her voice almost sends me into a fit of tears. “It’s okay, Nancy. I’ll get someone to take me.” “How are things?” “Okay,” I lie. “Did you forget who you were talking to, girlie?” I smile into the phone and sit on the edge of my bed, watching my feet sway over the carpet. I know she knows me better than anyone. I've never been a good liar anyway. “I love my room,” I change the subject. “I knew you would. It took me five stores to find that Paris picture.” I glance above my desk at the huge Eiffel tower. “It’s gorgeous. I can’t wait to go. I’ve almost saved enough from taking out tiny portions from my allowance from Dad. I’m thinking summer in Paris.” Alone. All alone. Alone in Paris. Those words do not fit together, and make me feel even more alone than before. She laugh

Something feels off. I’m in a bed, but not my bed. The white sheets are bunched around my waist, and someone is pressed tightly against me. A tight, round ass from what I can tell. Opening one eye, I see Paris and London … and definitely not my room. Suddenly I’m awake, sitting up, and staring down at Jaden. She’s pressed against me, one tanned leg sticking out of the covers and one arm hanging over the side of her bed. Everything from last night swarms back. Will got her drunk and was carrying her to bed. Like some kind of knight in shining armor. But I know better. It took some talking, but I got him to leave. Then she asked for him, and I could have thrown him out the window. Jesus, did I really kiss her thigh? Seeing him touch her made me mad. We can’t touch Adam’s little sister like that. And that’s the only thing I think about when I’m around her. I know I’m on thin ice with her but I want her. I tell Will to back off, b