Cade has been asleep for over ten hours. He's beaten down and tired. His knuckles are bloody and he looks like a corpse.
I had no idea of Cade's plans to catch Dan. But I was glad he came out alive, and it was over. Although, by the look on his face the night before, I wasn't sure it was over. He looked haunted. The tears on his face surprised me.
What all had he kept inside of himself for all these years?
I cook us breakfast, and bring it to him in bed the next morning. He stirs for a moment before sitting up and rubbing the palm of his hand against his eyes. His dark gaze meets mine and I swallow my anxiety.
"Good morning," I say. "I made us breakfast."
"Do you need a ride to school?"
"I wrote my teachers and told them I was sick. I'll be out this week."
He scoots up and brings the tray onto his lap. "You don't have to watch me like I'm a kid, Jaden. I'll be fine."
I shrug. "I want to be here w
Jaden hops down from the cabinet and scoops her finger into the cake icing and licks it. I'm immeditely ready to bend her over the sink and have my way with her. She screams when I pick her up and carry her toward our bedroom. But I stop when someone knocks on the front door. "Someone is looking out for you," I mumble. She giggles and waits for me to answer the door. Adam is standing on the other side. He looks good, like a different person from the last time I saw him. It's only been a few months, but it feels like years. "Hey. Can I come in?" he asks. I open the door wider and let him inside. Jaden comes running out a few minutes later, and stops cold. Her gaze moves from his to mine. I can't read her face. "Jaden," Adam says. "I wanted to come over and talk to you about ... everything." She plays with a string on the end of her cutoff jean shorts. "Okay, yeah." Adam sits down on the edg
“Are you listening to me, Jaden?” No, not really. I stopped years ago. My father’s BMW grinds to a halt in front of my brother’s apartment building, or should I say my apartment building. God, this is going to suck. My freshman year of college, and I’m being forced to live with my older brother. Dad wants me to be safe. He says Adam can show me the ropes and make sure I’m hanging out with the right group of friends. If only that were the case. The truth is, I have no friends, and Dad wants to make sure I’ll be around other human beings instead of locking myself in my room with no social interaction. I'm sure others make it fine in life without being forced into social situations that make them uncomfortable. He won’t have anyone to watch over me if I stay in a dorm room. What’s he going to do pay my roommate to hang out with me? With my brother being a social butterfly, I’ll be exposed to people my age. What Dad forgets—or decides to ignore—is that I’m going to be surrounded by
“I’m guessing Sadie went home?” Adam asks from the recliner. I tip back my beer, letting the liquor scorch down my throat. Then I take a slice of pizza from the box on the living room table. “Yeah, she showed me a pretty good time, too.” Adam laughs. “I heard she was good. I’m glad she lives up to her reputation.” I nod and inhale my pizza. I’m starving. “Just like I like ‘em.” Adam grabs the remote and turns the game down. “Hey,” he says, turning to rest his elbows on his knees. “What do you think about my sister?” What a loaded question. She wouldn’t even look at me once she walked inside. Basically ran from the room the first shot she got. I saw her looking at me out in the hallway. Just like my eyes had taken off all of those expensive clothes Daddy bought her. She’s hot … in a fresh-out-of-high-school kind of way. Not that I would ever do anything about it. Adam is my friend and that would cause too much drama. I'm not about drama. Plus, she's cute but too innocent for my t
My stomach feels nauseated and bile rises up my throat. My head presses against the side of the toilet, and I curl up like a snake. The sad thing is that I don’t know if I’m sick because I’m so nervous or if it’s because I vomit regularly from my medication. I’m surprised I didn’t see death on the warning label. She isn’t going to be there, I tell myself. She’s off to college in Florida—a long ways from Utah. Never to be heard from again … hopefully. And yet a huge cloud of despair hangs over me. I shouldn’t let my high-school experience ruin college, but I can’t stop myself from thinking what if? What if someone worse than Selena starts with me? What if my reputation has made it all the way to the university? What if I’m ostracized like before? I wouldn’t be surprised. It seems everyone knows about it. About my … past. My life. My issues. A burning lump travels up my throat, and I dry heave into the toilet. God, how pathetic. I barley slept last night. I laid in bed, staring at th
Jaden shuts the door behind her with a loud thud. She’d been crying, sobbing. What am I supposed to do? Go after her? I turn to go after her, but stop. I don’t know what to say to her. She doesn’t tell me anything when I ask. Growling, I roll my neck and grab my keys. I have to be at the garage in fifteen minutes. I don't have time to babysit some eighteen-year-old spoiled brat. Locking the door, I take the steps two at a time. My pickup is parked at the other end. It looks ridiculous with all of the expensive cars surrounding it. It’s rusted, beat-up, and old. But it's mine and she's been through it all with me. I bought it with my first job mowing grass when I was fifteen, and I worked hard to get her running. Those are the best vehicles, the old ones that purr when you start the engine, and take time to warm up. The ones that you have to fix with your own hands. I race toward her, sliding against the gravel, sling the door open, and burn rubber o
I’m wasted. My vision is blurry, my feet won’t stay still. Am I even moving them? I’m laughing hysterically at something, but I have no idea what it is. I had one too many beers tonight and my body feels numb. A great pain-free numb. It's a relief from the weight I carry around normally. My phone keeps vibrating in my pocket, but I press the ignore button. Or at least I think I do. Whoever it is can wait. My keys drop from my hand, and I stoop down to scoop them up. The bouncer yells something at me, but I wave as I get into my pickup and start the engine. I just need to get back to my apartment and go to sleep. I’m going to feel this tomorrow. I maybe young, but I'm not eighteen fresh out of college young anymore. Plus I can't remember the last time I drank like this. So this is what it feels like to get another year older. I take the back road toward the apartment building and drive ten miles per hour. I don’t have a death wish. I concentr
“Can I please just switch to another class?” God, I’m groveling like a child. My advisor is glaring at her computer over her coke-bottle glasses. Her mousy hair pulled back with a bright purple ’90s hairband. “Ms. Baker, there isn’t anything I can do. You need Intro to Journalism as an elective, and it is offered at another time but not one that fits your schedule. Unless you want to rearrange your entire schedule. But I advise against that.” She blows her bangs up, placing her interlaced fingers on the desk. I have to get out of that class. It may just be a semester, but I’d do anything to avoid Satan for a semester. I hate myself for even considering it, but I say it anyway. “What if I change my major?” Mrs. Kate’s does little to hide the shock on her face. Shame hits me like a hammer to the chest and I drop my eyes down to my lap. How pathetic am I? I would change my entire life's plan to avoid Selena. The fear she’s created inside of me w
“I can’t come get you today. Eric is having surgery on his collarbone. Darn boy went and broke it in football. I wish I had girls,” Nancy sighs. Hearing her voice almost sends me into a fit of tears. “It’s okay, Nancy. I’ll get someone to take me.” “How are things?” “Okay,” I lie. “Did you forget who you were talking to, girlie?” I smile into the phone and sit on the edge of my bed, watching my feet sway over the carpet. I know she knows me better than anyone. I've never been a good liar anyway. “I love my room,” I change the subject. “I knew you would. It took me five stores to find that Paris picture.” I glance above my desk at the huge Eiffel tower. “It’s gorgeous. I can’t wait to go. I’ve almost saved enough from taking out tiny portions from my allowance from Dad. I’m thinking summer in Paris.” Alone. All alone. Alone in Paris. Those words do not fit together, and make me feel even more alone than before. She laugh