Semua Bab Alpha Caspian: Bab 31 - Bab 40

Valerie:The moment I stepped out of Caspian’s office, the weight of my conversation with him still burned in my chest. My fingers curled into fists at my sides as I walked, my breaths measured, controlled, barely.This was not a side of me that I liked. This was a sign that reminded me that even I had darker moments in me, that I had darker thoughts that I did not want to allow to take control of my actions.Caspian thought he had control.The way he spoke, so nonchalant, so cruel and so angry. The man was far too confident for my own liking and I knew that it was because of those that surrounded him. They gave him that confidence, they gave him that strength, but that was something that I was going to need to stop.He thought that I was going to be forced to stay. And those seemed to have convinced him. Those whom he listened to, those that he followed, he allowed himself to believe.He failed to realize was that I wasn’t the same woman he once knew. He failed to realize that that w

Valerie:I watched from the front porch as Adrian played with his father, my eyes softening when I heard his laughter around, making something in me relax despite the ongoing raging war that I felt brewing inside me.Caspian knelt beside him, adjusting the wooden blocks Adrian had been stacking. His usual cold demeanor had softened, even if only slightly. It wasn’t forced, nor was it for show. He was trying. He was genuinely doing it.But I knew better than to believe this was out of the goodness of his heart. Caspian didn’t do anything without reason. He was a man of control, of strategy. If he was here, it was because he chose to be. I knew better than to be naïve to believe that he was being the father that he was.Still, Adrian’s smile was genuine, his joy unmistakable. And I could tell that this was something that gave him a sense of ease, an instinct to soften to his father. He was his little pup after all, I wouldn’t have had it any other way, and I knew that if things had turn

Valerie:The villa was quiet. The only sounds were the occasional rustling of the trees outside and the soft ticking of the clock in the living room. Adrian had long since gone to bed, curled up under his blankets with the peace only a child could have after a day well spent.It was something that I didn’t object to. It was something that I was thankful for. It was something that was good for him. He was with his father, and that was something that I was happy about.I stood in the kitchen, rinsing the last of the dishes, the warmth of the water grounding me. I wasn’t sure why I let Caspian stay, why I allowed him to sit at our table, to share a meal with us like he had always belonged there.But I had.It was something that I had to do for my son. It was something that I wanted to give to him after everything that was lost in his life. He was never around him, for me to deny him what he needed.And what unsettled me most was that it hadn’t felt forced.A part of me expected him to le

Valerie:The sun was yet to rise when I woke up.But I did not really mind. I liked being an early riser. At least it meant that I could get a few things done before Adrian woke up. And I also knew that there was a lot for me to do, for him to be able to settle here.I still needed to look for a school for him and I still did not know anything about any schools here as freshly after being away from here for a very long time if I was going to be able to take care of him, and if I was going to be able to let him settle here, and if I was going to be able to work, then he was going to need to be able to go to school. Leaving him at the pack when I went to work was not an option for me.And I did not even know how I was going to start with anything with everything that was going on here.I got up from my bed and ran my fingers over my face as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. I walked towards the bathroom and freshened up. A warm shower was needed. That was something that I was going to

Valerie:I debated for a moment on whether or not to give Caspian what he wanted. Whether or not to push myself to my limit because of him.But I knew this, if I was to do that, I was going to end up ruining my peace and my son’s. And Adrian did not deserve that.Adrian deserved the peace that he had. If I chose to allow us to be living here, it was not because of Caspian, it was because I wanted Adrian to have a life with his father. All of this was done for my son. For me to turn it into a toxic environment for him not to be able to live in the peace that I wanted for him was not going to be a good option, was not going to be an option that I was going to consider in the first place.“Are you okay, Mama?” Adrian asked, noticing that I was quiet.“Yes, baby Mama is okay. I'm just thinking.” I said as the two of us walked inside one of the schools that I chose to look into. This was the third school that we entered, but I knew that the first two were not suitable for him. They were no