All Chapters of Love You As You Are : Chapter 41 - Chapter 50

After a whole fucking two months of house searching, we’re finally settling in our new home. Ludo and Indra had finally come to a mutual agreement on this house. I’d specifically asked them to make sure the house had ten bedrooms, ensuite bathrooms – because I sure as hell am not going to wait in line to use the bathroom when my brother has the tendency to take his time. I’d pretty much wanted the house to accommodate all my friends, should they want to visit. Good news is that this is a twelve bedroom house, with ensuite bathroom. I’d pretty much cringed at how vast the house was when we got to check it out, but it has grown on me. We also have a gym, for Ludo. There is a mini theatre room for Indra. I think the reason they both agreed on this house is because they each got what they wanted. Surprisingly, I love the interior design. The one room I was happy to get in the end, was the sunroom. I’d basically claimed that room. Cody seems to

“Just give me a second, I gotta take a call,” I watched Miles wiping his hands before grabbing his ringing phone, officially leaving Indra and I in the kitchen alone. They were both washing dishes after we all had dinner. Aside from Liam’s ‘unalarming’ news, my day has been pretty amazing. When it started pouring outside, we’d decided upon a movie. Miles’ theatre room had makeshift beds, with pillows and warm blankets to keep us warm. Plus he pretty much brought snacks that everyone munched on whilst we all watched Ludo’s movie. I have to admit that this day has been weirdly unfamiliar but oddly relaxing and comforting. It isn’t something I’d normally do. Hanging out with everyone. Having lunch and watching a movie thereafter. It used to be Liam and I at his club, drinking the night away and fucking random girls. During the day, I’d be at the office. That was my celebration day. Miles has shown me

“Be careful, Miles,” Indra stood by the door, watching me pack my bags. I gave her a look for the thousandth time since my announcement to visit our old home, where I hoped to find Grandpa’s grave. “I’m not going alone, Indra,” I said rolling my eyes as I thought about the two bodyguards Emmanuel had hired for me. I hate being followed around. Makes me feel helpless. I’m anything but helpless. I know how to defend myself and besides, father isn’t coming anywhere near me… …not if he knows what’s good for him. “I’m serious,” I feel her hand on my shoulder. I turned to her and frowned, seeing her eyes glossing over. “I-“ she looked back at the door. “I have a bad feeling about this. Maybe you shouldn’t-“ “Indra,” I held her by the shoulder, watching her fight off the tears threatening to spill. She’s been rather emotional lately. Could be the pregnancy. Could be her. I know she worries about me.

Serenity. Defined as a disposition free from stress or emotion/ The absence of mental stress or anxiety. Or to put it in one simple word… Peacefulness. The one thing I’ve been searching for my whole life. This serene feeling of…floating in the clouds, shoulders free of any burden or pain. It’s just me and the quietness. It’s addictive. The more I dwell in it, the more I want to stay there. If humanity knew what this felt like, it’d be like a discovered drug. Good for your mental health, but toxic when abused. When you’ve lived your whole life in chaos and you suddenly get a taste of this, you can’t help but want more of it. Is this what death feels like? Or am I just…hallucinating? What’s the worst between the two? Knowing you’re dead and you might never be able to see your loved ones. Or…hallucinating this quietude and knowing it’ll be ripped from you any second and you’ll be plunged back into the chaos.

FOUR DAYS LATER It was just as the two Mafia doctors told us. No hip fracture, no broken ribs, just a lot of bruising and blood loss. Miles had suffered greatly and he’s still breathing. The only thing that keeps me from going crazy is watching his chest rise and fall, letting me know that he’s still fighting. And he’ll come back to us when he’s ready. I just need to be strong. That’s all. Be strong and stick by his side. Sticking by his side was proving to be harder than I thought. The amount of visitors he is getting is astounding. I didn’t realise he knew this many people. I didn’t realised that Miles was loved by many. And those that didn’t love him, he’d somehow touched their lives in a certain way. Genevieve had made her way to the hospital as soon as I gave her the address. Miles’ uncle, Desmond was also here. Apparently, he was working abroad, but he flew all the way to be by Miles’ side. They’d brought one of their daughters with