All Chapters of A Price to Pay: Chapter 21 - Chapter 30

I tried to catch-up with Juan, but he was out of the door, by the time I got there. All I saw were Diego’s jeep wheels speeding away, as I watched the back of his car. Ferd, Ricardo’s other driver, was an ex-SEAL and in his mid-fifties. He was a loyal driver among other things, or so Ricardo told me. He was waiting for me outside and stood patiently as I watched Diego’s car, wondering whether to tell him to follow Diego or to go and meet Jen. I decided as much as I was caught up in this whole gangster life, I was kidding myself. I didn’t know how these things worked, aside from this whole loyalty thing all of them working together and acting like one big family. I was an outsider. They wouldn’t tell me what was really going on. In time they would; patience was a virtue and I had to exercise it. It felt like forever since I had sat down with Jen and we chilled, and besides when you’re with one of the big men in town, getting a seat at Prime and Provisions was a lot easier than I ever

I didn’t know what to do with myself, it was one of those days when I felt nervous about everything. I was late. Not one or two days late, but nearly two weeks. I needed to get to the pharmacy to take a test. The funeral was tomorrow and I couldn’t do it then, but then I felt guilty about leaving Ricardo. He would want to know where I was going, so the best thing I could do was make up some emergency and tell him I was going to visit Jen. I was on my way to see her, but not to do whatever lie I would make-up in the meantime. “You didn’t sleep all night, you kept tossing and turning,” Ricardo said as I slipped out of bed. I thought he was sleeping.“I’m anxious about tomorrow. I’ve only been to one funeral in my life, my mom’s. I suppose I was feeling your sadness and memories of that day flashed through my mind.”He sighed. “Sorry, you don’t have to come.”I kissed him on the lips, and then stroked his face. I didn’t want him to blame himself for my restless sleep. It was my stupidi

It’d been a week since I left home. I knew I shouldn’t have left Adrianna. I should have told her something, anything, including letting her know it had nothing to do with finding out about the baby. I had so much shit making me feel as if I was going crazy running through my mind. I’d suppressed the memory of killing Pa, and I needed to get it all out. I needed to relive the nightmare of the night, to know step-by-step what happened, and to know I was the one who was capable of committing it. I’d suppressed my memory so much so, I’d gone on a wild goose chase. I’d let Juan think I’d gone completely insane by trying to find Pa’s killer, when all along it was me. Adrianna was in the library when I came home, all curled up on a chair reading, and I didn’t hesitate in telling her what was going on in my head. I knew there was no way I could ever forgive myself, but I had to know if she could do it, or rather if she would?“I’m a fucking monster,” I repeated, over and over again. Adrian

I didn’t know if this was a good idea, I’d only given birth over a month ago and here I was traveling with a newborn and coming to see the one man I had planned to stay away from as far as possible. He was a monster, I kept telling myself, but then it was clear I was kidding myself.I loved him. Even more when I saw our son’s hazel eyes and knew he was a replica of his father. The man I loved and pushed away. I had to, not only for his sanity, but mine too. I heard the engine outside and I knew it was him, the man I’d been trying to avoid, but couldn’t stay away from. I held our baby close to me, as the door swung open. His landlady said he’d been here for four months. She wanted us to wait in her cabin, but I told her Lucas wouldn’t mind us waiting in his, she assumed it was a surprise and smiled as I told her the assumption was correct. Maybe this was a mistake. The car pulled up outside, but Ricardo hadn’t entered the cabin. Maybe, he’d run, scared about coming inside. I looked

AdriannaWe have been living as a family in Alaska since the day I came to the cabin. I couldn’t deny this was my reason for coming here, to be with the man I loved, the father of my child. The man was a monster, but now had provided us with a loving home in the woods. We built a house from scratch. Who would have thought this small town girl, turned city girl would love living in the wilderness. It was as if I’d found my inner peace by living here. Ricardo cut contact with Juan while wishing him well. It was time to say goodbye to his old life and focus on his new one. I did take a little money out of the pot, not only to build the house but to work on my online business. I promised one day I would give it all to charity, in the meantime, while my PA business takes off, I’m still trying to get it off the ground, but it’s a little difficult with one kid and another on its way. “You shouldn’t be lifting,” Ricardo said as I brought in some logs from outside and attempted to build a f