I’m trying to keep a lid on things but I feel like a frozen water bottle. The cap has rocketed away, the pressure of the expanding water rendering the bottle ruptured and useless. I have spent my whole life knowing I am nothing. Gutter born and gutter bred. Until everything changed. Before the Freeze, my opinions were not cared for, my voice carried no weight. I would float above, my wolf deftly carrying me out of my own consciousness for the nights Valdis attacked my body with his vile, leathery carcass. Mara, Willa, Jess, Natalie, Holly, Charlotte, Violet, Ivy, an endless parade of names over the years. Women, girls who came in as new faces and left as sunken corpses. Mara was certain to be the next one to leave me. Self-preservation left me to be cooler towards her, how many people can you endure losing just as you connect to them? Before the Freeze I could see her spirit had been broken. Privately I had wondered how Lyra did it, tending to so many broken people, flogging herse
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