I’m trying to keep a lid on things but I feel like a frozen water bottle. The cap has rocketed away, the pressure of the expanding water rendering the bottle ruptured and useless. I have spent my whole life knowing I am nothing. Gutter born and gutter bred. Until everything changed. Before the Freeze, my opinions were not cared for, my voice carried no weight. I would float above, my wolf deftly carrying me out of my own consciousness for the nights Valdis attacked my body with his vile, leathery carcass. Mara, Willa, Jess, Natalie, Holly, Charlotte, Violet, Ivy, an endless parade of names over the years. Women, girls who came in as new faces and left as sunken corpses. Mara was certain to be the next one to leave me. Self-preservation left me to be cooler towards her, how many people can you endure losing just as you connect to them? Before the Freeze I could see her spirit had been broken. Privately I had wondered how Lyra did it, tending to so many broken people, flogging herse
Whatever Beldon and Morrell promised in order to convince Declan and Reu to leave was an outright lie. Their trucks had barely disappeared over the horizon when I saw the small man who rigged the safe with explosives, Solomon being led away to the cells. Fabian and Dill delcared in charge of day to day running. In theory maybe, in practice they ran everything by Elvie. They didn’t have a clue how to make a fortress of this size function, heat and feed all these mouths. Dill called her Captain and she couldn’t disguise the smile on her face every time she had to help. “Elvie where do we find…” was the near constant question all day long and she thrived on it. Declan had described Reu as a natural leader, I fervently hoped the Moon Goddess had blessed him with a second chance who was more than capable of meeting that challenge.Declan’s Rogues had slunk more towards the original servant population than their newly arrived kin. There was a palpable gap between the two groups. The mixing
Heart racing, I abandon the others to fix the generator. Darkness is descending, aiding my cause as I fly up the staircase towards Elvie’s room. I tried not to think of her locked in a cell. Not again. She had been soaring in confidence, elevating the pack only for Beldon to decide her wings needed clipping.Elvie’s room was the floor below mine, the same large bed and basic wooden furniture layout. I saw one of Reu’s shirts on the pillow and ached at the realisation we were the same in so many little unspoken ways. Standing at the edge of her window, I slyly studied the dusky courtyard. To my surprise, the new rogues in their grey leathers were finally being made to help clear the fallen stone. Any relief at seeing some involvement was short-lived. Huge wooden posts were dragged out of storage, and the new rogues burst of enthusiasm became obvious.The wooden posts soon stood tall in the courtyard. Each was notched to hold a second piece that slotted in to form a cross. The victims
Reu and I tracked down that little bastard with everything we had. Not just because we were under orders but because we had to convince the other two guys we were with that we were loyal. Plus, I really fancied wringing the bastard's neck. We followed the tracks in the snow eastwards until they felt like teasing hallucinations. So far east, it was almost new territory. Then the tracks changed after a couple of days, and we were southwest. Confusion reigned as every village remembered the hulking black truck, mainly because it travelled so noisily. Puffing out smoke as the sheer weight of all the gold he stole put pressure on the engine. We ate into that twelve hour head start, every mile we drove away from the fortress feeling like a betrayal. I know Reu would be feeling the same, not that I was able to talk to him. The bulky Marco and Levi ensured that we were never alone together. We drove in separate trucks, never paired together. Marco was olive-skinned with a long skinny black
When those oafish so-called leaders slammed the doors back on me and Lyra I could have laughed at the pointlessness of it all. A trial? For those apes to judge me, as if they have a clue how things work up here. My father ruled, I was his princess. I did what I liked and that included making slaves bleed. I was so close. So fucking close to making my way out of here. Once again, luck, the Moon Goddess, Fate whatever. Something up there was determined to see me fail. I had Declan and all his men convinced I was pregnant. Lyra, Elvie and the rest of the women are so stripped of knowledge they didn’t question me either. It was so fucking easy. Undeniably, it was awful making myself sick, but I got a technique down in the end. My years attending banquets and drunken celebrations of raids in the fortress hall meant I overheard enough chatter from vile Rogues like Ronan to drop the right clues. I overheard all kinds of snippets. Jokes about how you know you’ve fucked up when the bitc
With the blade shoved back into my pocket I locked the cell door and walked quickly away. The clattering of the bonfire being built had signalled my time to act. I’d given Arlen the night. The lack of activity from Arlen and Sol left my heart quaking but there was no time to lose. Minimal people were awake, to leave it any longer would give us no chance. If my friends had lost their courage I knew for certain Elvie hadn’t. I wasn’t proud of having killed Corina. In fact it left me nauseous and shaky but there was no time to process. My heeled boots clipped along the path as I quickly headed to Elvie’s cell. Slipping the small black key into the lock she was already awake. I shrugged off my coat and wrapped it around her as she gingerly stepped out. Her lips were grey-blue, teeth chattering but the fire in her eyes was undeniable. My plain grey dress resembled Corina’s. With my long black hair flowing behind I could pass for her. Nobody looked directly at her face anyway, not wit
There was a stand-off for several minutes. Beldon and Morrell through their mate bond were clearly mind-linking. Trying to work out the best way to overcome our ragtag group. All scarred, some with limps but so fucking determined to win we felt like titans. Just as Elvie had dictated in the caves that night there was a square formed with Elvie at the front. No surprise attacks from behind or the flanks. Everyone was vigilant. Nobody wanted to be the one that let the side down. For we knew that if they shifted and came at us there would only be so much a machine gun could stop. Elvie told us she had a plan to end things without that happening. What it was she hadn’t divulged and in the pit of my stomach I prayed she wasn’t winging this situation. “Come on, all the Rogues in the square. I want to take a headcount.” “You included Fabian and Dill in that?” Beldon remarked dryly, “not that they count for anything now. The hell are you men doing up there with them?” As Elvie instructed
Every muscle is screaming, but we keep going. We’re nearing thirty hours of straight running. Reu isn’t showing any signs of tiring, but maybe that’s because I’m keeping up appearances too. I could curl up in a ball and die right about now. But my heart, my very soul, burns for Lyra. Everything is for her. I can conjure up that sweet vanilla scent in my head. The way her long black hair spreads its tendrils across my chest when she falls asleep in the crook of my arm. Those scattered images of bliss, instead of food, are what fuels me right now. Finally, the peaks of the mountains emerge in the distance; it seems like there is hope. Except for the foreign scents that catch our attention. We both pull up, noses in the air. There is activity, someone has started a fire. Who would be camped here? The Freeze isn’t over fully yet. This is no time for casual exploring. I allow Reu to lead, his white fur blending better with the snow. Downwind, haunches low, we deftly placed our paws int
### FIVE YEARS LATER ### The truck has seen better days. More grey than black it trundles us wherever we need. Declan has become the expert at fixing it, fully aware that I absolutely love it when he gets oil on his hands or face. Rolling up his sleeves, showing his huge forearms that are solid from hard work, I offer up a daily prayer of thanks to the Goddess. “You are sure this is the place?” “I heard about it from the others back home.” Home was our small fishing village named Filney. Today was an unusual adventure for us, having barely left our little world for so long. Leaving the fortress all those years ago we had just headed south. With no more diversions or magnetic tourist attractions to show me, Declan took me to the very furthest tip of our nation. It still took a couple of months to get so far south. Just as he had dreamed, I fell asleep in the truck, waking up to him gently nudging me. However back then there had been no bump, just the first twinges of nausea and
The rumours were true. Only a minute or two after we got Howen and Pearl onto the ground did a silent shaft of light blaze down. Watching from outside the fortress it appeared painful, the way everyone dropped to the floor covering their eyes. Even I had to shield my eyes with my hands.From what I could see amidst the whiteness Elvie appeared to have lost her mind, stood tall, flailing her arms and shouting upwards. Declan held me close, wrapping his leather jacket back around my shoulders and kissing the top of my head.“Thank you,” leaning into him, loving the warmth of his huge body against mine.“What for?”“For not wanting to change us.”Declan shifted, leaning against the black truck door. “Can I say I am happy with myself without sounding like a dick? I’m covered in damage but I don’t care anymore.”“Well you are perfect, to me at least.” I smiled, watching him roll his eyes even though he squeezed me a little tighter. As quickly as it descended the beam vanished. From a dista
The past few months have been a blur. When the Goddess light first appeared I didn't have a clue what to do. Instinct took over as I shredded into Reu's jacket with my claws, my wolf somehow emerging for the first time since I accidentally shifted at fourteen. I was whipped so severely for just my claws emerging in front of a Beta that I never tried it again. But when the light subsided, returning us to cold darkness I was sprawled underneath Reu in my wolf form. "What the fuck just happened?" Dill shouted, as everyone rubbed their eyes and huddled. Nearly everyone had dropped to the floor, unable to find their way indoors in the searing brightness. "Is everyone okay!" Reu shouted, clambering to his feet, his white hair a ragged mess. "Does anyone need help!" Everyone gasped as he stood up, revealing my shifted form. All the originals knew what a big deal it was. "Elvie is that you!" Arlen cried out, pointing in surprise. Then Sol gasped. "Arlen your…your hands!" "Dill your fac
I squealed as Declan roughly shoved me into Pearl, scattering us to the ground.Then I saw why. Holding a long-barrelled shotgun, eyes blazing a furious gold stood Viktor. He was red-faced, sweating with exertion. Blonde hair now hung down to his shoulders, dirty and tangled. “What the fuck are you doing here,” Viktor said with a sneer, keeping the barrel pointed directly at Declan’s face. Manoeuvring so he could see all three of us togethe, his once handsome face twisted in smug victory.Gesturing the gun quickly towards me I gasped in fear as he mocked us. “You’re looking good Lyra, and a pretty friend too. My Declan, aren't you getting adventurous. Or did you fancy a less damaged slut for a while?”“Fuck off,” Pearl growled but this was no time for trading insults. Not when my mate had a gun waved in his face.“You’ve hidden the golden wolf here then?” Declan said flatly, flexing his huge chest, parting his legs to try and cover Pearl and I. From my crouched position I could feel
Lyra, forever formed of kindness and light raced to her side, Skidding into the blood and straw, not caring about her light cotton dress as she cradled Mara’s long blonde hair in her hands. “Mara what happened to you! Shit! Pearl, get some help, quick!” As the guard swore and cursed his bad luck, Pearl ran off. I heard her rummaging around in the guard room at the top of the corridor. Mara spluttered, her teeth stained with blood. Lyra carefully stroked her blonde hair away from the blood on her face, as gently as a mother would a newborn. “Lyra he…I did everything he asked.” “But you hurt people for him? The guards at the fortress, the men in this gold sale?” “I had to! I didn’t want to but he told me it was the only way. The only way we could be together. We put the golden wolf safe then came here to sell the little trinkets,” as she got upset her words became more ragged, her breathing starting to rattle. “We had such a good time…it was, he was perfect.” Pearl came scampering b
I have failed. Six months ensuring nothing harmed her happiness and I’ve gone and trashed it anyway. Those green eyes are filled with confusion and it’s all because of me. Because of something as simple as a dream. Albert having finally waddled downstairs, I slowly walk towards her. For the first time she steps backwards. Fuck. “You want to find Viktor? Howen? Both of them?” “I have to,” I confessed sadly, slumping down to sit on the soft bed. I rubbed at my eyes, running my hands through my short brown curls in frustration. “Lyra, these nightmares…these dreams are telling me I’ve got to do something.” “What dreams?” her voice softening, even though her arms are still folded. I keep my head in my hands, gripping my hair tightly as I force the words out. “Last night, I saw Howen as he was, as a young man being led away from me by Viktor, into a crowded road. I run, I search. I kill strangers in the streets to try to get to him. It drives me feral to the point where my dream ends wi
Of course leaving the Fortress wouldn’t be complete without some final bloodshed. Seeing how Declan’s brotherhood had torn themselves to pieces the instant Beldon died was sobering. When I asked if we needed to tell the rest of the Rogues waiting back at the base, Declan shook his head. “The ones that made it out would have high-tailed it straight back there anyway."“What made Beldon and Morrell so…angry?” “I think they let their Bond fail. I don’t think you can live a life that violent, however well intentioned and not let it taint something pure,” Declan replied flatly. “Once that starts to rot, it all falls apart. Like how you described Corina.”So with Beldon’s body gingerly dragged from the flatbed of the dented black truck, we left. We were silent for the first few hours. Mainly because I was staring out of the window like an idiot at everything new. Declan was content to just drive, and watch me from the corner of his eye. Seeing the cragged black mountains up close, actual
Declan and Lyra left a few days ago. Elvie and I insisted on being the ones to take them back to what was left of the Rogue camp. On the snowmobiles, carrying machine guns and blades, we found a site of devastation. Blood had been spilled. A huge amount of it judging by the snowy corpse-clumps in the ground. Only one truck remained, Beldon’s frosted corpse. Tent sheeting flapped with claw marks, chunks of leather clothing shredded. Elvie and Lyra had shuddered to discover Amelie under one of the collapsed tents. “So this is Rogue law?” Elvie had muttered with a bitter tone. “You never know with Amelie, she may have struck the first blow or tried to lead a group attack,” I said after a minute's consideration. She always wanted to play big.She wouldn’t have even been up here had she not begged to come. Sitting quietly around every campfire for years, I have learned to watch people when they think they aren’t being studied. Amelie wanted more than her usual piece of Dec the instant
Seeing Declan standing above my bed, blanket in hand, face flushed with desire I had for a second assumed it was just another fantasy. Too much hugging of the sandalwood-scented pillow, tricking myself again.Then he kissed me. He was so real. With a desire that bordered on frenzy, he seized and fucked me so exquisitely I felt I was coming apart at the seams. Only his gruff, heavy hold over my body kept me together. There was no feeling like it in the world when he sunk that deep inside. Laid next to him, watching the rise and fall of his chest, my toes curled at the memory of how he grabbed my ass, admiring me even though I knew my back was littered with scars.I love how even in his sleep, if I try to move away he instinctively pulls me closer. So excited to have him home I study him, unable to rest myself. His brown hair is shaggy and unkempt. That brown beard I love is even more ragged and needs trimming after so many days away.Despite the fighting and lack of food, Declan’s bod