All Chapters of Girl Crush: Chapter 41 - Chapter 50

When I glanced over my shoulder, a good-looking guy stepped back but didn't remove his fingers from my hip. I took the drink from the bartender after paying him and returned my attention to the man waiting for my reply. My girlfriends hadn't noticed my absence, and I wasn't interested in whatever they had going on, so I gave him a nod and followed him to the dance floor with my vodka in hand. The upbeat music thumped around us, and people clogged the small space, but the man who remained nameless found a spot in the center of the crowd and created a nook for us to move. I tossed back the remains of my liquor and placed the empty glass on a tray when a waitress passed by. The instant my hands were free, his found the belt loops in my jeans and snagged them with his thumbs. He pulled me closer, and the only thing I could grab onto were his thick upper arms. I could feel the muscles contract beneath his shirt, and the definition was obvious even through the fabric. Although he was attr

The next morning, as promised, Ronnie sat on my couch when I came back in from my morning run. I didn't want to talk about this. I wasn't interested in my bestie's thoughts on how I'd fucked up miserably. And I sure as hell didn't want to eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's, which I couldn't refuse because it would be rude after I just pounded five miles of pavement.She waved me off the instant she saw me. "Go shower so I don't have to smell you. I'll be here when you're done."There was no point in spending vast amounts of time on my hair or actually doing anything with my face. I had no intention of leaving the house today. Last night had been embarrassing enough, and I doubted I could ever face Collier again. And I'm sure my friends thought I was off my rocker. But part of me was pissed, too.I flopped down on the couch next to my lifelong friend and rolled my eyes at her boobs popping out of her push-up bra and tank top this early in the morning. "Are you leaving here to go work a

Shocked, I stared up into the perfume lady's soft gaze of pity. Yeah, it was pathetic, but she'd been nice enough not to leave me stuck here for hours. My knees wouldn't have held out to the squat much longer. Hunched over, I parted the wall of fabric to step through and gave her a meek glance. "Thanks. I know it's pretty pitiful."She shrugged and kindly said, "We've all been there." I straightened my clothes as I stood, feeling foolish when I traced the perimeter of the store for witnesses. I then, less than gracefully, excused myself after thanking her for her help. I almost returned the purse before I left since my experience had been thwarted and thus so had the high I needed to get from it.Just as I pushed on the heavy, glass doors to leave, my cell rang. I dug it out from under the mounds of crap in my overloaded purse and answered it just before it went to voicemail."Hey, V. What's up?""Just wanted to make sure you hadn't flushed yourself yet.""I should have, i

Each one after was more of the same, and I rolled my eyes in frustration. It was too early for this. Maybe I'd be able to figure out how to deal with my screwup in the next five miles, but I wasn't going to be able to do it lying in bed. And I wasn't going to try. With each message I read, and the subsequent voicemails I listened to, my motivation to do anything other than hide under the covers waned. I found no more clarity in my run than I had in my bed. When I arrived home, sweaty and in need of a shower, I further impacted my day by breaking one of my perfectly manicured nails. My boss would be in the office, so switching polishes wasn't a possibility, and I had no time to do it before work. It was shallow, and I knew anyone else would think it was stupid, but my imperfect fingers were just icing on the cake of my already blemished life. I was beyond frustrated with myself and my situation, and this just put me over the edge. I had to respond to Collier, even if all I did was

I recounted each of my dates with the same sex and how each had fallen short, most of which he already knew from the countless conversations we'd had, but I wanted him to have a timeline of events. "Look, Collier. I don't know when it happened or how, but somewhere along the way, you let me in. We got to know each other without anything between us because you thought I wasn't available, and it was safe. But in the process of growing our friendship, something shifted inside me. Every once in a while, I'd catch you looking at me like you longed for me, and I fought the urge to return the gaze. Or your sister would comment about my being the best thing that had happened to you, as though she knew you were into me, too. And then you took me driving and didn't bitch at me for having to wait while I got dressed or my house being a mess. You never judged me or told me I was broken. You didn't care that I was into cars and loved to paint my nails. You were just you. And somewhere along the