I searched for an exit. Going through the house wasn't a possibility, it was too likely I'd run into him inside. If I tried to make it to the gate on the opposite end of the pool, he'd see me from the kitchen before I made my getaway. My heart raced when I stared at the privacy fence surrounding the yard. Collier couldn't have a nice wrought iron decorative barrier like normal rich people-he had to have a six-foot, solid-wood screen. I dragged an outdoor end table up to the fence."What are you doing, Giselle?""What does it look like?" I shrieked the words in horror and an octave higher than normal. "I'm going over the fence." In my mind, it was rational, but hindsight is twenty-twenty. "You can't scale the fence to avoid my brother. Just go out the side.""He might see me," I wailed and climbed up on the glass tabletop."Your car is in the driveway, Giselle. He knows you're here."I put my hands on the ledge of the fence and jumped up, extending my elbows so the top o
Each one after was more of the same, and I rolled my eyes in frustration. It was too early for this. Maybe I'd be able to figure out how to deal with my screwup in the next five miles, but I wasn't going to be able to do it lying in bed. And I wasn't going to try. With each message I read, and the subsequent voicemails I listened to, my motivation to do anything other than hide under the covers waned. I found no more clarity in my run than I had in my bed. When I arrived home, sweaty and in need of a shower, I further impacted my day by breaking one of my perfectly manicured nails. My boss would be in the office, so switching polishes wasn't a possibility, and I had no time to do it before work. It was shallow, and I knew anyone else would think it was stupid, but my imperfect fingers were just icing on the cake of my already blemished life. I was beyond frustrated with myself and my situation, and this just put me over the edge. I had to respond to Collier, even if all I did was
After a night with my girls, I felt better than I had in a week. I wasn't any closer to a solution to my Collier issue, but at least I knew I wasn't alone. I had seven women who loved me and wanted me to be happy. With that thought in mind, I'd gotten up and laced my tennis shoes to go out for my morning run. It was the best workout I'd had all week. I was finally back on my game and didn't ache when I rounded the corner to my house. The instant my eyes locked with his, I knew my time avoiding the situation had come to an end. I was stuck. There, on my front porch, sat a devastated-looking Collier. The sun had just started to rise, and it was far too early to deal with this, but the time had finally come that I could no longer avoid it. I slowed my approach, stunned that he'd waited for me, unsure of when I'd return. While walking up the driveway, I pulled the buds from my ears, and then sat down next to him on the steps. I forced my thoughts away from the way I looked and probably
I recounted each of my dates with the same sex and how each had fallen short, most of which he already knew from the countless conversations we'd had, but I wanted him to have a timeline of events. "Look, Collier. I don't know when it happened or how, but somewhere along the way, you let me in. We got to know each other without anything between us because you thought I wasn't available, and it was safe. But in the process of growing our friendship, something shifted inside me. Every once in a while, I'd catch you looking at me like you longed for me, and I fought the urge to return the gaze. Or your sister would comment about my being the best thing that had happened to you, as though she knew you were into me, too. And then you took me driving and didn't bitch at me for having to wait while I got dressed or my house being a mess. You never judged me or told me I was broken. You didn't care that I was into cars and loved to paint my nails. You were just you. And somewhere along the
Two days passed without contact from Collier. I finally came clean with my friends, and in turn, they'd all rallied around me, offering their support. Beck tried to talk to her brother but hadn't gotten anywhere and told me just to give him some time. I resigned myself to whatever happened, but I couldn't stop thinking of him. Something happened after I finally admitted to West how deep my feelings ran. Everything I'd been pushing away in an attempt to deny any attraction to him was now front and center-with my friends, Collier, and in my mind. Work left me wanting to knock my head against a wall. The hours alone turned into mind-numbing internal browbeatings. I second-guessed every interaction I had with Collier since the day we'd met, trying to determine when and where I could have worked a confession into the situation. No matter how much I had thought about it, I couldn't come up with an answer. From the first time I'd met him, to the times he'd been there with me crying, and ev
"Who's Mama Betsy?" One of these days, one of these heifers would answer my question."My psychic," Beck said those two words as if she were referring to her hairdresser or nail tech. "Who the hell has a psychic?" Shocked, I didn't know how else to phrase the question, and now my friend appeared offended.Ronnie interrupted before Beck could answer. "Just have an open mind, Gizzy. This is supposed to be fun, not life-defining."The smile returned to Collier's sister's face, and a part of me ached when I stared into the eyes I'd missed so much. The two twins were clearly related. They looked enough alike that no one would doubt their lineage. But their eyes haunted me. I loved the way those same green irises took me in when they were on the face of her sibling. "I've been coming to see Betsy since I was in high school. I met her in a self-help class I took, and she's been a special part of my life ever since.""Was she teaching the class?" I couldn't help but snort at the
We should have left hours ago, but none of us made any motion toward the door. Instead, we acted like teenagers having a slumber party. When we finally called it a night, I was relieved the conversation had never ventured into my current dilemma or relationships at all. It had been exactly what I needed. I should have known better than to think I'd escaped the interference of my friends just because it hadn't happened at Betsy's house. They caught me off guard in the car on the way back home. We dropped Roxie off first because she lived closest and then Beck was next on the list. But the moment Roxie closed the door, Beck turned around in the front seat to face me. "I wish you'd talk to him, Giselle."I released a long sigh. "It's not me who isn't talking, Beck. Collier said he needed time to think. I'm just trying to give him that.""Boys are stupid. They don't have a clue what they need. My brother leads the pack in relationship ignorance, and you need to educate him.""W
When I got home, the quiet evening ate away at me. I tried to clean, but all that did was destroy my nails. I cranked up the stereo to lose myself in music, but every song that played reminded me of him. Finally, I broke down and warmed up leftovers in the microwave. Each bite was worse than the last, and nothing in my fridge appealed to me. I pushed the remains of my meal down the garbage disposal and turned it on. Instead of the drain clearing, water started to back up into the sink. My initial response was panic until whatever was lodged in the blades cleared, but not before it gave me an idea. My mind raced a mile a minute trying to think of things I could shove into the drain to jam the disposal so far beyond my ability to fix it that he'd have to come to my rescue. Food wouldn't work. I tried paper, and it shredded the sheets as easily as it would vegetables. But fabric wasn't quite as forgiving or destructible as perishables. I raced up the stairs to my room in search of a
We spent seven glorious days in Maui before returning home to our lives that were forever changed. When I'd gone to work the following week, my boss had made a wise crack about my being off the market and getting married because I was pregnant. Maybe I shouldn't have told Collier, but in hindsight, it was the best thing I ever did. He insisted I quit and that led me to be a stay-at-home wife until the baby came. I spent time helping Collier out at work, menial tasks like putting packages together or stuffing envelopes, but it gave me something to do, and I got to see my sister-in-law all the time-and my husband wasn't a bad consolation prize, either. Six months later, we welcomed Garrett Collier West to the world. I didn't have a clue what to do with a little boy and was completely lost with the parts that made him different from me. But together, Collier and I figured it out-even if it took us a couple years. Our friends adored him, and as the only child in the group, he was spoiled
It might have been an hour or thirty seconds, I didn't know, but when the song changed, my feet moved. I didn't know where I was going or what I was doing, I just knew that silver runner ended at my future. A cloud hid the sun perfectly, still providing a gorgeous day but shielding our guests from the heat of midday. I couldn't take in all the details in the short walk, but our friends were all gathered near the pergola to the side of the pool. There were so many flowers I wondered where they'd all come from, but then Collier came into view. And nothing else mattered. He stood in a black tux at the side of the minister with his hands clasped in front of him. The smile on his face radiated happiness, and I almost took off running to meet him, but I thought he might frown upon my wrapping my legs around his waist in a full-body hug at this particular moment. Everything about him was sheer perfection for me. I'd waited over thirty-nine years, but the man of my dreams had been well wor
Collier had been all kinds of secretive Friday night, and Saturday morning, he shipped me off to a spa for a couple of hours of pampering. I took my new bottle of OPI with me and enjoyed the royal treatment-manicure, pedicure, massage, hair, and makeup. As the girl finished setting my face with some mist to hold her work in place, my nerves set in. Or maybe it was morning sickness. Whichever it was sent me flying to the bathroom to empty my stomach. I wiped my mouth and dreaded looking in the mirror for fear of what my retching had done to the paint on my face. To my surprise, every bit of it held, including the mascara when my eyes watered. The only thing that needed a touch-up was my lips. This girl was good.She fixed my lipstick and seemed as pleased as I was. I'd opted for a more casual up-do and added fresh flowers to make it special. But with the natural appearance of my makeup, the high ponytail with large curls fit perfectly. I hadn't wanted to break the bank on a dress I'd w
"Hey, whore." Ronnie had been trying to catch me by phone for days, but I'd successfully managed to avoid her and pacified her with the occasional text message. She'd know instantly if I lied to her, and I couldn't risk her asking questions. She'd finally caught me and showed up just before lunch on Friday."What are you doing here?" Shit. Shit. Shit. I couldn't keep anything from her. She'd know just by looking at me that I didn't have just one secret but two. That was the problem with having a friend who knows you better than you knew yourself. And then there was the whole eye twitch thing she swore by."Playing detective." Her smirk reached her eyes, and they glimmered with mischief."I don't know what you're talking about." I tried to play coy, act like I had no clue what she referred to. At this rate, she'd have every bit of intel I had to offer in a matter of minutes. It was a good thing no one had ever given me a key to Fort Knox."What are you hiding, Gizzy?""I hate you."
Oddly, I hadn't been the one who'd had a difficult time keeping her mouth shut. Collier almost slipped just about every time we were with any of our friends. I'd made him agree not to share our news until after I'd made it past the first trimester. I was older, and there were more risks. I didn't want to have to break that news, too, so he had agreed to wait. Except that every time I turned around, he was gawking at a dad with a baby, or commenting on how cute a family was. And when he cut off pool time, our friends thought he was certifiably insane."They're going to know something's up...or think we hate them, West. You can't cut off the pool. They all live in our backyard.""Giselle, you said yourself that Ronnie has suspicions, and she and I both commented on the fact your body had already changed some. I know you don't want to hear this, but your tummy is a little rounded. It wouldn't be noticeable except you're normally flat as can be. You have better abs than most men I know.
Twenty-six. That's the number of pregnancy tests I took the following day when I called in to work after Collier left for the office. After three trips to three different drug stores to buy other brands, I'd ended up with twenty-six inaccurate sticks lying on our bathroom counter. Each arranged in neat rows and columns, and all screaming at me. I hurt for women who bought into the lies these companies propagated to hopeful mothers-to-be. There should be laws against faulty products.I rubbed my temples and closed my eyes, not wanting to acknowledge what was before me. Ignorance was bliss, and I could lie to myself for ages...or at least nine months until the pains of labor started. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." In my haste to repeat a string of explicative words under my breath, I apparently tuned out the house around me. And the man who'd entered our bedroom."Babe?"The sound of Collier's voice brought me out of my chant, and I waited to see if I'd really heard him or if it was my imagina
The driver remained silent, didn't leave me with instructions on what to do, nothing. He abandoned me amongst the headstones and mausoleums. Collier hadn't turned around, but I was sure he'd heard the limo pull up. There wasn't a car around, and the only sounds in the air were the birds chirping. The grass went on for miles, a thick, lush green I thought would be a perfect OPI color for St. Patrick's Day, and flowers dotted the markers with splashes of life. I took a deep breath and started on the path to Collier hoping I was meant to join him. My heels marked the walkway in time with my steps, and I worried foolishly about how loud I was being. It wasn't like I was in a library, these people were dead-the sound of my footsteps wasn't going to bother them. Just before I reached his side, Collier turned around.My breath hitched at the sight of the man I loved in a tuxedo holding two red roses in one hand and the other stuffed in his pocket. I had not a clue what was going on or why
The next day, I went back to my mind-numbing job where I spent another eight hours staring at the walls hoping someone would come in to entertain me...or possibly shoot me. When that hadn't happened by ten, I started messaging my friends, none of which responded because they all had jobs that required them to actually do something. I surfed Facebook but quickly grew tired of that as well. A girl can only read so many posts about politics and how great other peoples' lives are before wanting to clobber herself in the head with the heel of her shoe. I tried never to bother Collier at work. I still wasn't sure I fully understood what he did, but I knew he ran a huge company that required his attention, and if I sent him a text, he would stop to respond.Me: Are you busy?Collier: Never too busy for you, Elle. What's up?Me: I'm bored.Collier: Haha. I can hear your whining from here. Me: Not funny.Collier: Babe, why don't you find a job you actually enjoy? I didn't know how to s
I stole her flip-flops to keep from scalding my feet again-only Ronnie would have heels on pool shoes. Collier had gotten in the water, and his skin glistened when he broke the surface. Once I reached the steps, I kicked off my borrowed shoes and stepped into the shallow end. The cool feel of the water against my skin was refreshing and washed away the unease the discussion of money brought. I took a deep breath before going under and swimming between West and the wall. He stepped back to allow me room to maneuver my body into the narrow space, and his smile welcomed me when I stood in front of him."Hey, babe."The feel of his chest beneath my fingers spurred me on. His nipples were firm and masculine as my palms grazed them. While my touch continued north, he snaked his arms around my lower back. The moment I laced my fingers behind his neck, he took my mouth with his in an inappropriate kiss. My legs crawled up his like a monkey on a tree before settling around his waist."Get a