Semua Bab Love in the Time of Quarantine: Bab 31 - Bab 40

“Samantha.” His voice is hoarse, thick with emotion. His eyes—those same eyes I painted in the regret section—are locked on mine, filled with tears. He swallows hard before he can speak again. “Sam… hey.”“Hi,” I whisper.He turns away, swiping at his cheeks. “Look at you. You really made it to the big time, didn’t you?”I chuckle, though tears are already gathering in my eyes. “Yeah, well… I kind of owe it to you. Just a bit.”He barks out a laugh. “Yeah, I’ve never been anyone’s muse before. Not sure whether to feel flattered… or disgusted with myself.” He looks back at me, the humor fading fast. “Definitely disgusted.”I blink, and tears spill over.“I know this is your big night. And Matt told me you’ve been up since 4 a.m., so I know you’re exhausted. If you want to talk later, we can. I’ll take you back to the apartment and we can talk tomorrow. Or—after you sleep for a week,” he adds with a small, broken smile.I study him. And I allow myself to feel everything I’ve ever felt fo

I wake up to the smell of Axe body spray and fabric softener. My head is resting on something warm, and my arms are wrapped around it too. I’m still half asleep, so nothing really registers—until I hear a deep, masculine voice.“Never would’ve taken you for a snuggler.”My eyes fly open, and I try to jerk back, but one of my arms is pinned underneath his back. When I focus, I see that I’m in bed with Kent. Both of us are shirtless—he’s in boxers, and I’m still in sweats.“What the fuck happened?!” I practically scream in his face.He just laughs. “You seriously don’t remember anything?”I shake my head, and he mutters, “Figures.”He sits up, and I immediately scoot to the other side of the bed. I’m not as freaked out as I wish I was, and that pisses me off.“What happened?”“Look, man, I came home—” Kent starts, but I cut him off.“With a guy.” The words come out with more heat than I meant, and I try to play it off, rolling my eyes and dragging my hands down my face.I hate that I fee

Two weeks later and we are in full lockdown. Santa Clara—our county in California—has had 20 deaths as of today, one of them a teenager, the first in the country. This shit is getting real. It sucks, it’s scary, and I don’t like it.You know what else I don’t like? The headache that’s come from trying to deal with all these couples who are having to change their wedding dates, along with the conferences, trainings, parties, and random events scheduled over the next month. I’m on the phone for hours every day trying to figure out how to rearrange all these events around everything else we’ve already planned. At least most of these events coordinated through us for venue, food, alcohol, and rooms. They just have to work around their families and florists now. But trying to cram two whole weeks’ worth of events into other slots gives me a migraine by the end of every day. I feel like beating my head against the wall.And that leads to my final problem with this lockdown: liquor stores are

I’ve been so pissed at Kent lately—and fucking pent up because it’s been months since I last got laid. I’ve been jacking it to straight p**n this whole time, trying to rewire my brain. Trying to stop wanting guys as badly as I do.And it doesn’t fucking work.Do you know how hard it is to want something so badly—something your body craves—but your mind, your upbringing, keeps screaming it’s wrong?I thought it would be okay if I was watching it with a girlfriend. If she was into it too.But now? I’m alone. I can’t say I’m doing this to get the girl going. This is just… for me.And that scares me. Scares me that maybe—just maybe—this is who I am. And that my family will never accept it. If I can’t push away these urges, these needs, then I might lose the people I love more than anything.But what’s the harm in just looking? Not participating—just watching. With COVID, I’m not around anyone but Kent.And that’s going great.So I do it. I open Pornhub, mirror it to my TV, and pull

I can’t believe how fucking good sex with Cole is. He’s got a huge cock, and damn does he know how to use it. And don't even get me started on what this man can do with his tongue.God, I've wanted Cole for years. I've lost count of how many times I've jerked off picturing him. Add the fact that he’s one of my best friends—the kind of guy I just love hanging out with—and he becomes even more irresistible.But there’s one problem: I’ve been burned way too many times before. Especially by guys who were still in the closet or halfway there. Relationships have always ended badly for me.I was even engaged once, back in college. Stephen. He honestly could’ve been related to Cole; they look that much alike. Tall, broad-shouldered, tanned skin stretched over beefy arms, abs you could grate cheese on, and asses so tight they should be illegal. And their eyes—sky-blue pools you could fall into forever and never want to resurface.They were both witty, caring, charismatic—two of the best human b