HIS MISTAKES BEHIND FORGIVENESS のすべてのチャプター: チャプター 11 - チャプター 20

Love, what's love when it comes to being ourselves? Love, what's that bittersweet sound of love when it comes to being just our sorrows? Love, what's love when it comes to struggling with our own heart that just knows how to cry out the name of the person who made us believe in love once?Not all seasons would be the same, not even months, not even days and hours would be lived as happily as those ones she shared with the man she thought would stay forever by her side. Many memories, many laughs, many blessed days she had lived by his side and, for the first time in her life, she had felt valued by a man. How come no one else could see her beauty? How come no one else was there for her as Gabriel was once? The birds didn't chirp anymore, the sunlight coming through her window didn't warm her just as his hugs did, that particular perfume that she swore life had was no longer breathed in by her because, at the end of the day, life didn't have perfume, life was not written in sceneries

With pain in her heart, with fears that came straight into her heart, she had won the first battle against Gabriel at least for some time, because in the end of the day, it was a matter of time for him to know the truth. There were so many things she didn’t want to remember, such as those days where she didn’t have the strength to climb the mountain where Gabriel had abandoned her heart, or those tears that fell from her eyes on the sleepless nights when she found herself with her son being her support. It was true that Gabriel had given the best gift in life, but that didn’t mean she was ready to get her heart stabbed as he had done once.She had lied to him as she never imagined doing, that baby of hers was his son too. It was true she had come back to say the truth, but since Ian appeared into her life, everything seemed to be a mirage. Maybe, maybe if Ian hadn’t appeared in her way, she had said the truth at that moment. Nothing ahead was clear, everything was clouded by the gaze

And Alice, what was going on in her heart and in her thoughts? Even if she didn’t want to realize, her feelings and her entire heart had revealed itself against her, she seemed not to be the owner of her inner world anymore, without realizing she was thinking about Ian. It was a mistake when she thought she could have had feelings for Gabriel, she knew that when she was close to him, such close to breathing his perfume. But, what about Ian? Seeing his smile was becoming her favorite hobbit in the same way as seeing her son in his arms. She was not ready to let her feelings speak for themselves, she was not ready to let herself be carried away by the energy given off by that man. She just wanted answers to the questions she didn’t dare to ask.Something she was sure of those emotions couldn’t turn into feelings. It was not healthy for him, it was not healthy for her. Ian would suffer so much, she couldn’t do that to the person who had brought magic to her son’s life. He didn’t deserve

Confessing what we feel, it's hard to accept, firstly for ourselves and then, learn to live with that while our heart feels like crying out those hidden feelings and secrets when looking into that person's eyes who stole our heart just with a smile to make it his or her own castle and do whatever change they want in it. Fear fills our heart in the mere instant we hear our hearts talking on their own, endless fears such as; the fear of being rejected by that lovely person, the fear of giving everything but getting nothing because that's love. Even the most genuine love is always going to ask for something. Even genuine love wants something, even a single gaze filled with love and care is enough to prolong the light of that cane called love. At that moment, Alice was so close to his heart, she feared. She just wanted to run away as her life depended on that, she just wished to be as strong and brave as he was to confess that. Those words sounded like a melody to her, but her fears made

Believing that everything is over at the moment we confess the truth, the only truth that kept us awake in the nights we most would've wanted to sleep and forget everything is just a lie, a nightmare, and as soon as the sun rises, we'll get back to our reality, it as untrue as the same lie. Nothing is over when lies turn into truth, new cycles begin. Whether it's for good or for the worst.A sea of emotions was experimented at the moment. Alice, Joseph and Nancy, how many years had it been since the moment Nancy felt alive? How many years had it been since the moment Alice felt light with herself? How many years had it been until Joseph felt important and loved not only by his mother and aunt? He had not met his father but he knew he was going to love him as much as his grandmother was loving him. Now, Joshep could write thousands of letters and be sure they were going to be delivered because, in the end, there was indeed someone who was going to read him, read that little heart of h