I’M IN THE BATHROOM, SITTING on a closed toilet lid with my cell phone pressed to my ear. “Come on, come on, pick up the phone, Tea-Tea...”“Hello, sweetie cakes, what’s up?”I want to scream when I hear her say that. “What the fuck is wrong with all you people?” I say in a whisper-growl.“Well, that’s an interesting way to start a phone call,” Teagan says, a smile in her voice.“Since when did you start calling me sweetie cakes?” “Since today, I guess. You got a problem with it?”“No. But I do have a problem with everyone doing shit that I don’t expect, okay? So if you could just go back to being the old scowly grumpy Teagan for right now, that would be first-class. Seriously.”“Wow, who shit in your Wheaties?”“Good. That’s better. Mick shit in my Wheaties if you must know.” “Mick? Mick as in Rebel’s Mick?”“Yes. His little brother. The ass-kissing, hot sexy, liar, jerk face, … guy in my house right now, sitting down to eat dinner with my whole frigging family.That guy.”My mother’
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