That question made me numb. My throat ran dry and I can feel my weak knees, almost trembling because of mixed up emotions. I could not speak. After all those years of pain, he's now here beside me. So close, yet it feels like he remained unreachable. I kept my gaze on the blue sea, no intention of answering. Silence enveloped us. I don't want to lie. I don't want him to know my real feelings, either. So I chose to remain silent. Even in reality, I want to know a lot. I have a lot to ask him. I want to know what happened in his life after I left. Even if I can be hurt by whatever I discover, I still want to know it. Though we can't do anything about the past, I still want to know his side. He was not to blame for what happened, yet I blamed him. I was driven by anger at his mother and hatred of everything that happened. And also, I blamed him for not doing anything, for not fighting for me. But on the other hand, I thought maybe he didn
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