All Chapters of Toast With Jelly: The Tragedy of a Lesbian Confused: Chapter 21 - Chapter 24

Ida stared out the living room window of her daughter’s apartment. She’d arrived with the intention of tidying up its abnormal disarray. It had been quite a while since she’d visited Pam, but she couldn’t recall a time when the apartment was in such a turmoil. Something was terribly wrong in Pam and Fiana’s relationship, but then she didn’t need an apartment that looked like it suffered a mass mob looting to realize that. Pam’s actions of late were indication enough.She wished she was able to cultivate a better relationship between them. It was her fault, of course. If she had only stood firm and stood up to Chester on her daughter’s behalf. Denial had always been her weakness. Even as a young girl, as she watched her father, with his suitcase in hand, disappear down the sidewalk and into the darkness of the night she’d refused to acknowledge what happened. It wasn’t until she was a young woman preparing for college

Pam leaned heavily on her cane as she stood at Fiana’s grave site. She’d wanted to attend the funeral, but the doctor refused to release her. Ida took over for her. She notified Fiana’s few friends and relatives and then arranged for the burial. Ida assured Pam that it was a lovely service and, considering how few people Fiana knew, there had been a gracious turn out of mourners. Pam found that comforting.The wind was blissfully fierce, making the fact that Pam had hidden her face beneath her high collar understandable, while hiding the remnants of the angry marks on her face that were the real reason for her disguise.Ida walked up next to her daughter and stood, silently waiting for a signal of departure. Fiana had tragically drowned in the bath tub, but she had enough sleeping medication in her to do the job if she had not drowned first. Ida took great pains to hide the fact that it was a suicide from Pam. She was afraid the knowledge would only a