All Chapters of The Carrero Heart (series book 2): Chapter 101 - Chapter 110

222 Chapters

101

“Sophiee, you know I lurve you a million times over babes.” Leila slurs over the top of me, alcohol breath almost flooring me with its sheer toxicity, captured in her crazily strong embrace as we both sway. I’m a little worse for wear too, having drunk one too many champagne cocktails. The party is wearing down, but Leila is beyond wrecked and slobbering a gush of emotion all over me as I try to say my goodbyes to her.“Baby, come on, Sophs is being suffocated by the fumes coming off you.” Daniel is trying to extract his wife’s arms from me and guide her towards the door, “trying” being the word, as he fights with octopus limbs in a bid to coax her away. A lot of guests have departed already, and Leila is being taken home to pass out or get up to whatever they get up to when drunk and childless in an empty house for the night. I do not even want to know what my sister and her husband are into if I am being honest, the thought te
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102

 “I deserve that and more, Sophie. My life is nothing without you. You have no idea how many times a day I think about you, how much it eats me up every second that I made you leave me. How much I just want you back in my life, even if I only get to be friends.” He’s still sniffing back tears, making my heart ache harder and I am trying so hard to hold myself together. Guilt adding itself onto the list of crazy feelings and emotions piling up in my head. I am close to hysteria and about as near the cliff of insanity as one can get before leaping off.“You didn’t make me leave you. You chose someone else and then told me to go. There is an enormous difference. You can’t undo that.” I throw back, my voice equally ravaged with raw pain and tears, so it hurts my throat, losing all the resolve to stay aggressive and angry and becoming more and more weak and childlike, reverting to fragility I rarely show. Body in defensive mode and mo
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103

Arrick moves into my mouth again, seemingly unable to stand the distance, kissing me as passionately as he can, hands ravaging my hair and throat in a bid to keep me close as humanly possible. I can’t withstand his kiss, how it makes me feel, from inside out, an ache and yearning, burning to an almost unbearable fever pitch. His tongue finds mine, pushing us further into the sort of kissing that leaves no misinterpretation to how much he wants to have sex with me. His hands moving down to cup my breast as he pushes against me, my work their way inside his shirt, unbuttoning as I go and revealing that expanse of hard naked torso and tattoos. He presses a knee between my thighs, the pressure making me writhe and grind back to him. We both know where this is heading, and I don’t even hesitate about whether I want it or not.He slides his leg further between my legs and moves in against me seductively teasing me sexually as his muscle rubs my softness. I let out a sof
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104

“Sophie … Sophie? Look at me, come back to me.” His soft voice brings me back to my senses and I realize my legs are closed, my tense body held rigidly and curled up in the fetal position. He’s not inside me anymore and somehow, I’m being cradled in his arms, my face turned away from him. Beside him and gasping for breath, his arms around my upper body as he holds me tight against him and strokes the hair back from my tear-stained face. “Just breathe, slow and steady. You’re safe, it’s me, it’s Arry. You’re safe with me.” I zone back in, realizing I am gripping his arm with deadly intent, my nails digging in, yet he doesn’t seem to care. My face is soaked, and I am so dizzy I can barely get my head together. I don’t know where I went, or for how long I went there, but the taste of blood in my mouth shocks me and I’m confused and scared. My whole body shivering
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105

A loud buzzing noise rouses me from the hazy darkness when I realize I am in a bed that’s not mine, a familiar arm tossed casually across my waist and sheets pulled up over me to my chin. Confused and disorientated, I blink my eyes open, blurriness clouding my instinct to be concerned and begin looking for the god-awful noise with a groan.Arrick groans next to me, reaching out to smack a nearby alarm clock and sends it crashing to the ground, except the noise perseveres and the next thing to meet hard floor is his cell as he swipes it off into the room, bringing silence once more.I sigh, a moment of relief, followed by the sudden realization that I am in bed with him, his bed, in his old room at his parents” house, and completely naked. Filtering through snippets of being kissed, undressed and “oh, my God” he had his tongue on my …I woosh awake fully, in utter shock, eyes snapping open properly as I turn my head to get a complet
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106

Pushing his mouth to mine, kissing me with intention and cooling my jets completely as he tugs my arms across my back snugly. It’s not a passionate, tongue caressing kiss but it hits the mark and renders me mute in the blink of an eye. Calming the tidal wave of insanity and making me surrender to him on every level with minimal effort and I hate that he suckered me this way and exposed a severe Achilles heel. Finally, he pulls free and regards at me for a long moment.“I’ll let your arms go if you promise to calm down, take a breath and hear me out.” He gazes at me imploringly, swallowing nervously and despite myself, sticking up my chin in defiance, I nod. My heart hammering from exertion, my brain trying to take control, but I am so spent; the exhaustive outburst has taken what little energy I had left in me and another bout of attack won’t be effective in any
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107

Wrapped in a fluffy robe after a hot shower, I stare at my clean face in the bathroom mirror; it’s tear-stained and pale. I downed some pain killers before I got in here, in a bid to combat the beginning of a hangover and feel completely wiped out. I don’t even know if he is still in my room, or if he has gone to see Natasha, and I am not sure how I feel either way. I’m crazily disconnected inside, that none of this is real and no closer to a decision at all.I still love him; I can’t deny that. Last night was incredibly stupid and most likely alcohol-fueled. The during was not exactly how I thought it would be, but then, part of me knows it’s because I no longer trust him like I once did. He hurt me in ways that really screwed my head up and last night proved I no longer felt secure to let him have access to every part of me.
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108

Arrick reappears after fifteen long minutes from his parents’ house while I wait outside after texting Jenny and Christian, telling them to meet us here. Perched against the wall and picking petals from a daisy in my hand. Both responded and are apparently on their way to find me after having to quickly explain why I’m even with him without too many details.“You were an age.” I glance his way as he slides his hand in mine and pulls me close to kiss me softly on the cheek. I’m more aware that he’s being cautious about throwing kisses on me, although he seems sure his handholding won’t be rejected now; sensing that he shouldn’t yet kiss me on the mouth whenever he feels like it. Even though I’m here with him there is an unspoken uneasiness, we’re not okay yet and I know it too. It will take time; I don’t even know if I want th
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109

Christian shows up first, followed by a timid looking Jenny who seems to appear rather closely to Nate. Gathering together in the street outside Arrick’s house. I notice Nate is being rather attentive to my girl and tries to take her hand as he catches up with her; she looks away, pulling away from him and slides an arm through mine in a coy move without catching his eye. I frown her way suspiciously and file it away to interrogate her as soon as I get her alone with Christian.I’m now standing away from Arrick, as soon as I saw them appearing I made him let go of me and moved to two feet apart, needing a space to see my friends and let them know what has happened. My texts outlined the briefest explanation only and I am so not ready to be identified as Arry’s new love interest just yet. I feel like they may judge me on my readiness to jump into a relationship when last night, I swore to never let him near me again.“Well hey, hey.” Christ
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110

The walk back is odd, we’re walking apart, my arms across my body as I feel like being by myself right now and not having the contact. I’m tired and emotional and edgy. He’s trying to make idle chit chat, intent on keeping us talking about any topic he comes up with and I am responding, but I am fully aware of his constant fixed gaze on my profile as we walk and it’s starting to make me nervy. I can’t relax with the way he seems honed into my every movement and mannerism.“You can stop staring at me for like maybe five minutes.” I point out and smile when his eyebrows dip in that cute way he has. He looks away for a minute and then back again.“You noticed, huh?” He acts coyly and shrugs my way. Not him at all, he’s always been super confident in every way and this seems weird.
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