Sex means different things to different people. For me, I was anxious and somewhat, scared. The flashbacks of what went on between Charles and I comes into my mind every time I think about it. It causes me to blush and feel deeply shy for no reason. It sounds unbelievable, but during the eight years that Ryan and I were together, we never had sex. We never got that far. I was never interested in getting that far. And he knows it. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, and I made that very clear. So after a few failed attempts of trying to coerce me into sleeping with him, he gave up. Knowing my mind was set, it was not going to happen. And yes, it has occurred to before. A lot of times actually, that it may just have been the reason why he slept with Eva, because he probably didn't get from me what he wanted. But each and everyday, I'm glad of the decision I made. Charles was astonished, that I hadn't slept with anyone. That at twenty five, I
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