All Chapters of When the bully falls in love : Chapter 81 - Chapter 90

I mouthed an awful goodnight to everyone at the table and didn’t stay behind long enough to hear wherever they would, say. I was just done with humanity and everything about them. ‘‘Don’t forget about tomorrow, its along day,’’ my papa screamed as hr shouted goodnight too. IO smiled and nodded my head before taking the flight of stairs towards my room. I got in closed the door and laid on the floor flat, with my head facing the wall. This room was my safe place, it was one of the only places in the world where I felt whole, The ceiling board was familiar as usual, the normal designs, the walls boring as ever. Boring and me always belonged in the same sentence, my life was boring, terribly boring, nothing about it could spark or raise eyebrows, it wasn’t even spiced up a little. I closed my eyes and just lay there for almost an hour, I wanted to feel nothing, I wanted to be numb to emotion, immune to love or hurt. I didn’t want to be human anymore. My headache was getting even wo

Giving up is the easiest thing in the world I know it is because I have done so a thousand times, or perhaps a million times that I can’t remember.This was the last time I was giving up, the last shot, there wouldn’t be others. I held on to the scalpel and moved it towards my neck slowly as my hands shook. The shaking increased and I closed my eyes as the scalpel made contact with the skin on my neck. It was cold, ice cold and my skin was warm. Razors and blood always gave me goosebumps, goosebumps that I liked because they were accompanied with pain, and pain made me feel alive, pain made me feel like I was human again.I pressed the scalpel slowly before the sound of my phone ringing filled the room. I stood still and debated who could be calling me, who was it, and why were they trying to Talk to me, I mean why me?‘‘Perhaps it’s your mama, she is approving this, she doesn’t want you too,’’ the voice inside my head explained again and I closed my eyes tightly debating whether to d

Sometimes all you need is a little love. A big hug, and someone to care. It heals the soul, repairs wounds that are beneath the skin and makes someone want to live again.‘‘Tell me, what is it like?’’ Cage asked.‘‘What is what like?’’ I laughed back.We were sitting in a position that I still couldn’t believe. Vince should probably see this, see me happy, see someone treating me like a human being. I wanted a picture of this moment, I wanted to remember it so that the next time the bullies threw a fracas or decided to belittle me, I would literally through the image on their faces and run.Nothing slaps differently and hits hard like seeing your enemy happy, that is why the ice cream incident affected them so much.‘‘ I mean being you, sleeping in this big bed like a princess and having a magnificent view of the town and street from your window, I can’t imagine,’’ he said as he tickled my nose.He was laying on my bed with his back, with a billow over his lap and me laying on that p

“ Well , that was my mama, she is preparing…’’ oooups, I almost ruined the surprise. “ What surprise, I thought you said it,’’ I asked even more curious and surprised. “ Well, I guess you will just have to wait and trust me on this,’’ she laughed as she threw her hair back while looking at me. “ I got to go, brush my teeth and stuff, I have been sleeping since forever,’’ I cried. “ And yesterday, I tried calling you several times, you weren’t picking.’’ “Really? What time?’’ “ At night, wanted to face time you now, and gossip, and anormal stuff, okay, okay, I can be too much sometimes, let that slide,’’ she spoke fast. “ Is that Barbra feeling insecure?’’ I laughed at the thought. She was one of the most confident human being that I knew who existed in planet earth, confidence and her always belonged in one sentence. “Lol, go get a shower and eat whatever you getting for breakfast, but I warn you, be ready for the surprise,’’ she winked before blowing kisses in the air and hang

Sometimes I build walls, high walls, not ordinary walls, but walls that make sure I am trapped inside, walls without gates, high walls, too high for me to climb over, too strong for me to break out, and I am always stuck inside them. The walls of negative self-criticism. The walls are the inner voices that shout at me every day, the voices that ring inside my head every single time, the negative things that people say and do to me, they all contribute, to make the wall stronger, unbreakable. These walls are too strong and high for me to break out, but too weak and low for everyone who deemed it fit to break in. To break into my world. ‘‘ Why are you suddenly blue in the face, did I saying anything to make you mad?’’ he inquired. ‘‘ No I am finer, I juts need to go and get things done,’’ I lied. ‘‘ No, you are not okay, what is up?’’ he insisted. What is up is that I feel too exposed, what is up is that I feel vulnerable, what is up is that you came too close, you came closer tha