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Eighty Eight
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2024-10-29 19:42:56
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When the bully falls in love Eighty Nine
I literally rolled my eyes at the phrase, it was one of the most common things I had heard in school everywhere, despite the fact that I didn’t have much friends. That was so ordinary, it was a common phrase to tell a girl, it could get someone arrested. ‘‘ Girl, now you have standards about what to be done and what not to be done, and yet just recently you didn’t have a chance?’’ my conscience screamed at me after detecting what I had just done. ‘‘That is so lovely, oooouh,’’ I let out a fake mona as I struggled so hard not to laugh or do anything. God, I am evil too, kill me , punish me, make me repent. I laughed inwardly. I was currently doing well, experiencing a series of absolute highs that I couldn’t comprehends. What did I do to deserve all this. Would he have been heart broken if at all I had done it, if at all I had succeeded in taking away my life yesterday, perhaps he would have, perhaps he wouldn’t have. ‘‘ I think I like you,’’ he blurted out. ‘‘ What ?’’ I asked.
When the bully falls in love Ninety
Sometimes I build walls, high walls, not ordinary walls, but walls that make sure I am trapped inside, walls without gates, high walls, too high for me to climb over, too strong for me to break out, and I am always stuck inside them. The walls of negative self-criticism. The walls are the inner voices that shout at me every day, the voices that ring inside my head every single time, the negative things that people say and do to me, they all contribute, to make the wall stronger, unbreakable. These walls are too strong and high for me to break out, but too weak and low for everyone who deemed it fit to break in. To break into my world. ‘‘ Why are you suddenly blue in the face, did I saying anything to make you mad?’’ he inquired. ‘‘ No I am finer, I juts need to go and get things done,’’ I lied. ‘‘ No, you are not okay, what is up?’’ he insisted. What is up is that I feel too exposed, what is up is that I feel vulnerable, what is up is that you came too close, you came closer tha
When the bully falls in love Ninety One
I puled all the clothes in my wardrobe out as I looked for my favorite cloth. My famous black dress that I grazed all occasions with. It was nowhere to be seen. Who exactly had been meddling with my bedroom and items. I looked closer ad closer and sighed in anguish. It was the only dress that made me feel alive, without it, I was dead, without my black dress I wasn’t human, I kept on looking before ripping my towel off and to search for it even more furiously. After a few minutes, something probed me to look under the wardrobe and I found it neatly tucked, under it. That was strange, I pulled it from under the wardrobe and spread it on my bed before going back to returning everything to its place. After oiling my body carefully and wearing some body splash and perfume, I wore it and smiled at myself, please that my gem was intact, pleased with myself. I knew how to take care of things; I knew how to make things last. Only God knew for how long I had been wearing that dress. Somet
When the bully falls in love Ninety Two
Sandra stood up and disappeared into the kitchen, leaving me behind to answer questions and all sorts of formalities that families had on weekends. I hated this part, I hated the part where I answered personal questions about me and couldn’t lie about anything, lie about getting late for school, getting my homework done or something more reasonable. “ I won’t lie, I was worried you didn’t like the gift I gave you, you never use it you don’t stare at your phone the way Sandra does, you don’t smile with your phone during car rides or or take it out with you.’’ I kept quiet for a while as I thought about his review. Isn’t that what parents wanted. Most parents wanted kids who had a life aside video games, three-Dimensional stuff, virtual reality and moves, they wanted kids who weren’t’ just on their phones yet he was telling me the exact opposite right now. “ I thought that its what all parents wanted, I mean everyone is struggling with addiction and parents are trying hard..’’ I bega
When the bully falls in love Ninety Three
My papa was the first one to get out and head to the car. He had this weird habit of starting the car engine ten minutes before he left. He would turn on the ignition and leave it running as he came back to the house to do other stuff, I have never really understood the science behind that, or what it really helps with. Though part of me thought it was his nature of always being ready and getting prepared all the time. He only shook his head and looked the other way. Whenever I asked, he would always do that.‘‘But papa, you are wasting a great deal of fuel, why don’t you just turn on your ignition when you are about to leave the house and are finally leaving,’’ I had nagged him for years, for as long as I could remember.‘‘No, it’s because I like it that way, can you explain why you prefer jam to butter and why you like your sandwich having a …’’‘‘Okay dad, whatever, I don’t want to know, ‘I would throw my hands in the air and leave. Then next round I would ask the same question and
When the bully falls in love Ninety Four
The memories that were coming back to my head were nostalgic and sad too. Someone bumped me on the shoulder and I stumbled a few steps to find Sandra rushing towards the front seat. I couldn’t just comprehend what such kind of behavior earned or got for her. I wouldn’t go for that seat for a million years, no matter what happened and she was willing to break a tooth for a seat that no one was competing for.I got into the back seat together with Sandra’s mama and Sandra turned the radio on. Barbra and her a had performed a magic charm on us, we were all in good and high spirits, thanks to their awesome vibe and personality.Her mother looked like a goddess, she was beautiful, she knew how to smile the right way, how to charm her way right through people’s hearts and everything that I couldn’t even began to say. Her magic and charm were so infectious and I had to admit that it penetrated through my hard skull, it brought down my walls and for the first time in centuries, everyone was
When the bully falls in love Ninety Five
The air smelt like magic as I swatted my hands all over in an attempt to catch the sweet scents flowing around. My papa led the way as we all followed and I slowly bit my apple with loud crunchy annoying sounds. I was testing just how far I can go, just how far they can take it. Just how far I can be stable before my walls crumble down and the anxiety takes over again. The sky was beautiful and blue. The blue sky always echoed my porcelain soul. A soul that was tough, pretty, humble, torn apart and fighting every day. One that took on changes every day like an evolving artistic palate. I closed my eyes for a few seconds and imagined myself weaving the blue sky, teasing out sacred strands of cloth from it, clothes that would then be the greatest treasure for my soul and life. The blue sky blanketed the earth, it watched over me and everything. “Shall we order some food first before we proceed?’’ Papa asked as he looked at us. “Who needs food, we can just go and get some ice cream,’
When the bully falls in love Ninety Six
Wounds are the places light enters the soul. For there to be darkness, there must be light and even saints can’t exist without sinners. The saints need sinners to exist. I sat down on the small bench playing and fidgeting with my fingers as I waited for whoever would come for me. After a while, my papa came wearing a disappointed look on his face, he kept talking to the guards before flashing a pair of documents to them and asking me to head home with him. The drive was silent as we went home, I didn’t want to ask any questions, queries about who had died and who had survived weren’t my piece of cake right now. The car came to a halt and I counted a few seconds before stepping out . “Wait,’’ a voice called out to me. I turned around and waited for whatever he was about to tell me. “ I’ve always had doubts, doubts about everything, you see, they keep telling me you are a bad ungrateful brat, but I wont juts listen, because a part of me still hopes that you can be a good person, th
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When the bully falls in love 152
A person can never go through life waiting for happiness, you have to make your own, for there is nothing stronger and better like a good memory. “Your eyes make you beautiful, but your lips do more than that, you are a beautiful creation. One that took a few more hours to be made, I would say the creator had some free time to spare during that time,’’ he whispered the words in my ear in a slurry base, that was seductive and enticing. “Are you sure, are my eyes that beautiful,’’ I asked more confused than ever. We kept on having normal and sugar sweet conversations at the top of the stairs, the bully has a heart. I moved towards the room I was supposed to sleep in and he followed behind, helping me, making sure I didn’t fall. I pushed the door open and slid into bed before he pulled out the covers and made sure I was neatly tucked in. “You are such a good soul, what demons always take over you every day, what really happens?’’ I asked slowly as I felt sleep taking a toll on me.
When the bully falls in love 151
I pushed the large window to open fully and watched as he jumped in with a loud thud. ‘‘Be silent, someone is going to hear you,’’ I warned in a whisper as I suppressed a little girls giggle. It felt I was torn between leaving my window open so the bully could witness everything. He always made sure he gave me lessons at love with his little conquests every day, by leaving his window open, and putting the lights on so could watch every little detail, every single step as they kissed with him lifting his small whores against and doing all kinds of stuff to them. like I was cheating on him, so I pulled the window closed and turned around. ‘‘Heeeeeeey,’’ he greeted again as he pulled me into a warm hug. ‘‘Heey, ‘’ I greeted back as I hugged him too. ‘‘You smell so nice,’’ he commented as he pulled me closer to inhale his masculine scent. ‘‘Your cologne is also awesome,’’ I complemented, ‘‘What is it called?’’ I asked even though was sure that I would forget the name as soon as he
When the bully falls in love 150
I mouthed an awful goodnight to everyone at the table and didn’t stay behind long enough to hear wherever they would, say. I was just done with humanity and everything about them. ‘‘Don’t forget about tomorrow, its along day,’’ my papa screamed as hr shouted goodnight too. IO smiled and nodded my head before taking the flight of stairs towards my room. I got in closed the door and laid on the floor flat, with my head facing the wall. This room was my safe place, it was one of the only places in the world where I felt whole, The ceiling board was familiar as usual, the normal designs, the walls boring as ever. Boring and me always belonged in the same sentence, my life was boring, terribly boring, nothing about it could spark or raise eyebrows, it wasn’t even spiced up a little. I closed my eyes and just lay there for almost an hour, I wanted to feel nothing, I wanted to be numb to emotion, immune to love or hurt. I didn’t want to be human anymore. My headache was getting even w
When the bully falls in love 149
‘‘Beauty is all around you, all you have to do is open your eyes and see it’’ Dinner was boring as usual; it was just the sound of forks and spoons clinking on the plate as we all savored whatever was left inside our plates. The only time I ever felt alive was when I was eating. Food made me feel whole, it made feel like looking up to the next meal. There was a conversation going on around me, I made myself immune to whatever was being said, I blocked the words from reaching my ears. I had already given up, died inside a long time ago, the only thing I was doing right now was feeling up my body. I did not have a soul. I focused on the sounds the fork and knife made as it hit my plate and objectified my food as I became totally absent from everything that was happening around me. A hand tapped my shoulder and I gasped loudly in shock. ‘‘Sorry, but are you okay?’’ It was my step mama again, what was she even trying to do, by being good to me out of the blue. ‘‘I am fine,’’ I repli
When the bully falls in love 148
Every day, people ask if you are okay. A random stranger inside the bus pretends to care and ask if you are fine, because your palms are sweating, or your lips trembling, from your struggle with anxiety. But most of the time, no one does, its pretense. The moment I got into the house, I wish I didn’t, they all seemed to be in a happy mood, happy for no good reason and I feared they might want me to join them and perhaps, perhaps I wouldn’t be able to, lest they notice that my spirit has given up. ‘‘Hellooooo,’’ my father greeted as he stood up to come and say hi. I was really uncomfortable and he knew, I wasn’t up for all the happy merry, the high vibes, I wanted it low and quiet, I didn’t want anyone to recognize me. That’s how a child grows up when their mother abandons them, it’s the only way for them to cope up, you lay low and lock up all your feelings in a cage, you become numb, because feelings are useless, humans abuse them all the time, you better not have them. ‘‘Hey pa
When the bully falls in love 147
I literally rolled my eyes at the phrase, it was one of the most common things I had heard in school everywhere, despite the fact that I didn’t have much friends. That was so ordinary, it was a common phrase to tell a girl, it could get someone arrested. ‘‘ Girl, now you have standards about what to be done and what not to be done, and yet just recently you didn’t have a chance?’’ my conscience screamed at me after detecting what I had just done. ‘‘That is so lovely, oooouh,’’ I let out a fake mona as I struggled so hard not to laugh or do anything. God, I am evil too, kill me , punish me, make me repent. I laughed inwardly. I was currently doing well, experiencing a series of absolute highs that I couldn’t comprehends. What did I do to deserve all this. Would he have been heart broken if at all I had done it, if at all I had succeeded in taking away my life yesterday, perhaps he would have, perhaps he wouldn’t have. ‘‘ I think I like you,’’ he blurted out. ‘‘ What ?’’ I asked
When the bully falls in love 146
“ Well , that was my mama, she is preparing…’’ oooups, I almost ruined the surprise. “ What surprise, I thought you said it,’’ I asked even more curious and surprised. “ Well, I guess you will just have to wait and trust me on this,’’ she laughed as she threw her hair back while looking at me. “ I got to go, brush my teeth and stuff, I have been sleeping since forever,’’ I cried. “ And yesterday, I tried calling you several times, you weren’t picking.’’ “Really? What time?’’ “ At night, wanted to face time you now, and gossip, and anormal stuff, okay, okay, I can be too much sometimes, let that slide,’’ she spoke fast. “ Is that Barbra feeling insecure?’’ I laughed at the thought. She was one of the most confident human being that I knew who existed in planet earth, confidence and her always belonged in one sentence. “Lol, go get a shower and eat whatever you getting for breakfast, but I warn you, be ready for the surprise,’’ she winked before blowing kisses in the air and han
When the bully falls in love 145
I pulled the window down and drew back the curtains before standing on that position for a while , while just inhaling and exhaling the air around e. It was full of Cage, his scent everything. Perhaps all we need is a little lo9ve, all humanity needs is a little love to save it form drowning some one to care, someone to hug and hold your hand. I coiled in bed and hugged the balloon he had brought. It was laying on my chest with my hands draped around it as it felt warm. He was the sign, a sign form heaven above, a miracle, everything that I had hoped I would have but was too sacred to admit. I pulled up the sheets and turned off the bedside lamp, before closing my eyers. The balloon was still in my arms and my head was supported on the part of the bed where Cage had been sitting, it felt different, it felt better, it still smelt of him, it made me want to try again. *** It was another morning, a Saturday. Saturdays always felt so boring, boring because I was always stuck at home
When the bully falls in love 144
Sometimes all you need is a little love. A big hug, and someone to care. It heals the soul, repairs wounds that are beneath the skin and makes someone want to live again. ‘‘Tell me, what is it like?’’ Cage asked. ‘‘What is what like?’’ I laughed back. We were sitting in a position that I still couldn’t believe. Vince should probably see this, see me happy, see someone treating me like a human being. I wanted a picture of this moment, I wanted to remember it so that the next time the bullies threw a fracas or decided to belittle me, I would literally through the image on their faces and run. Nothing slaps differently and hits hard like seeing your enemy happy, that is why the ice cream incident affected them so much. ‘‘ I mean being you, sleeping in this big bed like a princess and having a magnificent view of the town and street from your window, I can’t imagine,’’ he said as he tickled my nose. He was laying on my bed with his back, with a billow over his lap and me laying on
