All Chapters of The Carrero Effect: Chapter 81 - Chapter 90

I run about three blocks before I stop and let the heart wrenching pain overtake me. I cry like I did the night he left me on that boat, and I think I may actually die this time. If my lungs don’t self-implode, I think my heart might. The pain is unbearable and raw, and I’ve never willingly exposed myself to enduring it this way, except that night.I sit on a bench cradling my head between my knees and I think I may even throw up; this isn’t my life … My life is calm and easy and straightforward. My job, my apartment, my responsibilities. They all slot into place and I manage them all well. This isn’t really happening. I’m in a parallel universe, or I’m dreaming. I’ll wake at any minute and this will all have been one long, bad dream. Except I know that it’s not. Meeting Jake has slowly changed it all, he is too potent to be around, changing me, changing how I think and live, until I don’t feel like I am in control an

I finally get home to the apartment in the early hours; Jake had two cars awaiting us at the airfield, so I didn’t need to share the journey to his apartment first. This was a new move for him, we’ve always shared cars coming home, so this spoke volumes about what he’s feeling about me.He never looked at me once in our entire trip. At the car, he just guided Marissa into his and departed, left me standing in the dark with Jefferson. Empty and broken hearted, aching to have him say something, anything to me. I almost burst into tears right then and there.Sarah’s in bed and I know, without checking, that Marcus is here too, I can sense his presence in the house and smell his scent lingering in the air. Cheap cologne and deodorant. The thought makes me uptight, but I ignore it and go to bed, taking sleeping pills before I lay down. I’m going to need them; my head is so full to bursting that I know if I even try and extract one tiny piece it wil

I help Sarah clean the apartment in companionable silence for the rest of the afternoon, we talked ourselves out and there’s nothing more to say. I have so much to process on my own.She keeps catching my eye and shaking her head at me in awe. I don’t think she can really accept that this is how I am now, as though she keeps waiting on the old Emma to jump out and throw herself into commandeering, emotionless mode, again. Pull out some tight tailoring and my iPad checklist. Her attention unnerves me, but I don’t want to freeze her back out again, she deserves more. I deserve more.I keep checking my cell obsessively, but he doesn’t call or text; every time I see the blank screen, I die a little more inside. I long for one of his song emails, a message, anything! I understand his silence, she’ll be with him, he has a lot to think about, talk about; he’s mad at me, he’s overwhelmed. It doesn’t make this any less painful and it

“We can talk about this, Jake.” I finally manage, my voice broken and childlike. I want to get up and walk to him, throw myself back in his arms and beg.Tell him, Emma … Tell him you love him.“No … There’s nothing to say.” The iciness in his tone kills my voice completely, shutting down the words I long to let out. A scolding so harsh it silences them. “It’s done, Emma, it’s arranged … Clear out your things today, take the rest of the day off, then report to the HQ offices first thing tomorrow. You’ll work for my father from now on.” His tone cruel … Jake’s gone and only the version who left me on the boat remains, ripping my heart to shreds. I shake my head, a new wave of tears building up inside of me, the panic and hysteria, and chest-crushing pain returning tenfold.“Jake …” I can barely talk through the crippling suffocation.When will this ever

The subway to work is crowded as usual, even at this early hour the smell and noise are overwhelming. I’m overly fragile, nausea plaguing me all the time these days; the stress of moving offices and away from Jake making me physically ill.I check my watch for the fiftieth time this morning.I’m late again … What the hell is wrong with me lately?I groan inwardly. I can’t seem to get my head together or get back on track with anything. Giovanni Carrero has yelled at me so many times these last three weeks, I feel like resigning. He’s demoted me to coffee bearer for now and I’m slowly losing everything I’ve worked for. My reputation as an efficient PA is shot and I’ve heard the rumors circulating the building.Jake Carrero dismissed me for my incompetence and moved me to his father’s building, because he felt sorry for me.That stung. The lies upset me, but I push the